My brains where it rains
Acidic and rudely natured
The lighting is kind
I, a professor of emotional nomenclature
Classify, define,
File away
Brown leaves that blow a way to defy
Tree roots eating countryside
Rural deceit
Running to grow, left breathless and incomplete
A lover of storms lost in its throes
Slowly destroyed
With each gust
Pieces escape this place
Until there's no reality left

If you would stop running
You wouldn't be as tired

A shroud of mystery
A misty
Ungodly stench
Raises my nose in mourning
As my feet fumble to a bench
There I rest my body
From loves deadly kiss

My cheek lye
Washed and barren
Hands without a home
Pierce through my holy sleeve
Stretch and crease and pull
Clawing there way out
Entangled like a fool

Twig echoes
Snaps behind me
Still I cannot see
Only a breath
On my neck
Thickened and ghostly

A chilling touch
Rests at tips lengths of my shoulder
Though my chest grows warm
My rest is drastically colder

I think if you tried one more time
You'd be surprised with your results.

Folds in the sand

At the hand of the wind

Not a clue where we end

Forgotten where to begin

All steps have been covered

In one fit of rage

Of words kept prisoner

That fought like hell to escape

Who knew the damage of one critical jail break

A tunnel dug with a spoon

Confused from lack of air

Dressed in filth

Anxious to be bare

Festered flesh

Left to heal

Stinging wound

Desperate not to feel

Victim to the elements

Sun scorched

Burned to a red

Learning to live life

Only living in one's head

If you're not happy I failed as a soulmate
I wanted to fill you with fire and watch as the emotions trapping you unsatisfied reduced to nothing but ash that would be swept away as you ran forward.

I wanted to make your head spin with endless possibilities of fulfillment  

If you're not irrefutably irreversibly incandescent
Not for me not because of me but after the spiritual transformation from the  meeting of our two souls
I have failed you as a soulmate.

If I have failed you
I am sorry my dearest friend

A little Jesus sort
Spaces between clout
Effort lost
Split the cost
Inconvenient doubt

A little Zorro like
Masquerading whip
Body welted
Disguise melted
Self prescribing quip

Risk and Pain
It's all the same
Self Imposed or Not

Let it go
Take it slow
Maybe then you'll have a shot

Sitting on top an apex
My legs started to fall asleep
Stood up for a few seconds
Fell to the bottom

We call everything with a predictable outcome attractive.

A roundabout paved
A single stormy wave
Which incapsulated
The most rogue of my brains
Ever since I've followed
I've been taken in spades
I can hear  cement
Cracking in my name
Dirt is more natural
Yet lacking in traction
To this day I'm defined by this slipperiest of action
A Faction  a singular piece
Turned my elbows from dust to contingent visceral grease
A twist of a spin in a moment can release
Quickly I am burdened for my aim is to please

Ignorance has a certain luxury
Sometimes it is comfort over growth
But humans are amazing creatures, dangerous at the same time, we can grow accustom or comfortable to any situation the adjustment period is what terrifies most
What do we sacrifice living being led by fear?
Everything works until it doesn't
That's why it is important to become acquainted with your heart it tells you everything you need to know.
Brain is not intended to over rule your pure heartfelt desires but to create a path for them

Competitively dysfunctional

In lightheartedness and aloof

Teeter tottering

Puddings in the proof

I'm stuffed
Belly all a swell

Nothings best
Nothings left
But to bid you well

A birds song echoes throughout a chilly winters night
Flightless with an everlasting dream of the sky
A tune more beautiful than the dawning of a new try

A staunch ache a craving of a dream
Creating a delicacy
Sorrowfully gleamed
Moonlit distress paved in silver beams
A spotlight of romance
Held in high esteem

A love made up
Spreading wings once more
Torturous dissatisfaction dances with such allure
Habitually choreographing  
A compromising score

A birds song echoes throughout a chilly winters night
Flightless
With an everlasting dream of the sky

I've got the taste of Black Cat firecrackers in my mouth
Tongue trapped by
Exotic fruit instead of cheese  
Now nothing has a taste

Happiness as vines begin to creep

And wrap around my house of stone
In the woods so deep

Foggy, hopes they start to speak

In this very moment

Bruised clouds wildly begin weep,

Heavy moans rattle my insides

And shake me from my sleep

Send me hidden

Sunken in a heap

Truth be told

You simply sow

what it is you reap

I find some simple relief
In my sullen silence
Snuggling with grief
Squeezing my fists for hours
Followed by 30 seconds of release

My peace of mind
Has been smashed
Into a million
Sand like pieces

My hippocampus
Is stuck
On repeat
A need for you increases

I found some simple relief
I know time is limited
So I'll make this brief
I've been living in this gray for so long
They've crowned and named me chief

We are holding the same spot
In different spaces
It's confusing
Like a ring
For energy
To jump through
We stand still
It passes
We are not the Tamer
Or the lion

I'm on pins and swallowing needles
My every word has taken shape of mummified Egyptian beetles
Heavenly resembled bandage
Aiding in my rebellion to decomposition
Bound in fragmented memories
They're keeping my skin whet
Dying  flesh
With a born again mind
What I couldn't conquer with death will live on in spirit

If you want to get to know me
Don’t speak
I’ve placed myself here
With elegant intention
In observation
In purpose
Your un-will
Has met mine
And they have entangled
To create new

Refined, I'm sweating gasoline
Set myself ablaze
Just to light the cigarette of my dreams
My natural state has changed
But hasn't stopped getting in my way
Takes a drink to strike an ember
Stagnant black glowing amber
Cooking my assumptions with timidity  
Chaotic pieces tempered into
Wavering unpredictability
Directionless enmity
Enemies at wind
Cooled to harden
Forced to torch again

You've left me breathless
Silence is my fortress
And If I step behind me
The hands on the clock will spin uncontrollably
Along with my head
My eyes would look like the Cat on a cuckoo clock
Frantically aware of each passing hour

Decaying composition  
Fickle and forlorn
Drinks a meadows wishes
Blows a hollowed horn

Shells of seedling cases
Crisp and in a crunch
Steals an ears attention
Is welcomed, not so much

Worm with fattened ends
Darkens to the dirt
Wanting in some privacy
So he can do his work

Cylindrical dudgeon
Dug beneath my feet
Crumbles the earth below
Giving to conceit

I'll always be there  
Even on the bad days
When I don't want to be for myself I'll be there for you
Waiting
It could never be a waste of time
So I wait and wait and wait and wait and wait some more
Living for what I love  
Not made to change only to understand, to level up
Hoping you can feel it from afar
During the times you can't look at yourself
You'll know someone loves you
Someone cares
For the thinnest half of a chance that could ever bring you comfort
That's why I'll always be there

I can't disappear because I won't
My reach is limited
But can easily be changed in the hardest way
Resistance can be reduced
Energetic pulses
Meld

The truth is the truth
Even if it's a lie
In misconception,
Lurking nearby,
Is a revelation
From which no one can hide

Egoistical is thinking everything is made to please you and if it doesn't it must be bad.

I can't pretend I don't care anymore
I'm going to burst
My heart is bulging
And this ache is the worst

You'd be doing me a service
If you pulled it straight out of my chest
Dug it out with spoon
Or dodged a bullet
Smack dab into my breast

Maybe, if you prefer,
You could take the less invasive route
And extract it with a hook down my throat

Maybe, if you prefer,
You could use demolition
Lots of TNT
That would be "Dyno-mite"
To quote my favorite quote

You left me wounded
But you should've left me dead

You told me that you loved me
But that was the last thing to me you said

Meeting you was emotional suicide

When we slept together
I should've done it with an open eye

Clinical
Chemical
Teetering
To sides

Individual
Togetherness
Decrepit
Insides

Welling
And swelling
Burning
Fire eyes

Deceased
Disease
A feeling
Of pride

As forever
Flew by
Twisted
enouement
Dead right

A love birthed from fame
Nothing penetrates the smooth skin
Of an ever tempting dame
No breeze to blow a ships sails
Only diamonds piled on rubies
suffocated in trunks and in pails,
Buckets but more romantic in name, Satisfaction in unsatisfactory gain
That howls at the moons as it transforms into tangible bane
Journey for the hunt predesigned to ****
And with dawn rises the most forgetful of will
Enamored by the chase
For misery has never been able to keep still

Seeing so many signs
I'm scared I'm schizophrenic
An injection needed
Individual pandemic
Destruction is the only cure
To
Beading my head slowly

Just enough to ensure
Of the gap I muddled over
Be faintly seen
In obvious undercover
A seed of confusion
That never grows
But remains securely
In precise finger poked rows

Through the fire,
The window,
And six screams,

Were visions of

Elegantly placed

Dainty airy things

Silhouettes
Of heads and legs
And wings

Mouths emitting

Orbs of shiny tings

Fingers that painted
The
Wind like circled dreams


I froze,  
My mind stilled

My breath
Concrete
Blowing off steam

As I danced into a flowered sea
My spins consumed space and time
Each whirl sang "whoosh"
Dirt flung about new finds

An archeologist of selfish kinds
Fossilized in feat and pride
Each further from the truth
Perception left beside

I kept about, my eyes did lie
Everything began to melt
Deluded happiness formed in whole
Willingness was all I felt.

Fresh scars
I swear they weren't here yesterday
Yesterday I had fresh skin,decorated only in orange brown speckles
Now all I see is a blurred image of my old form, with a grayish hint,
Two sides melting into a sinkhole that is waiting to meet them in the middle
Different not only in appearance  but in shape as well
Flat land turned mountainous
A gang of cells with a bird's-eye view
I feign recognition,
I had really forgotten all about them,
But this feeling, this feeling isn't as new

Time went fishing
Caught a boot
Rocked the boat
Stained refute
Belly Hungered
Persistent ache
Then to tip
From his self made wake

I shake with every cell
Oxygen does not easily flow
Dancing in indiscretion
Inhaling every woe

Cancerous to nose
Infected by smokey lips
Adorned in selfish prose
Doctored with defying quips

Acted out in Fable
Characterized in yellow stone
A sure thing to bite
Pieces lost in clothes  


Hiding in a wake
Eyes of goopy pus
A manmade offense
The anti-verb of us

Weak and fair eyed
Tongue to teeth
Cavities set in
Life's too sweet
Sung high notes
Ears began to bleed
And all the while
You cling to greed

Grieving grief
As most of us are apt to do
Startling reflections
Seen in a whole new view
Stifling malaise
Giving up obscenity
For glowing window blaze
The night can't get much darker
Until comes a brighter phase
Grieving grief
Like a moon starved sage

Sitting here
On my carpet made of wood
Rooted down
As sturdy as any tree
that ever stood
I've been shaken by wind
Cross water has left me still
Yet here I remain, Not burned for warmth
Or eaten by a quill

Speak breeze,

Tease my purple lips,

Slip in and out

of my consciousness

Steal me away

While I'm sprinting in clouds

A past wisps by

Continually disavows

How did I get here?

How?

There is an upending resistance
That is my equivalent in every way
Energetically we are all related
Some us just feel more remorse
Which is noble only in the most human of ways

Impromptu reminiscence,

You said you bled black
But even the spot where you would park
Is shimmering in rainbow
complexion

How vexing it is for you to hear
Every time you attempted to
smear
You simply left shine

Occasionally the mask we wear gives away more than our face ever could

And the hammer to break the box that reads "just in case"
Is,not hidden, in your left side pocket

What you want is yours when you believe you deserve it
In fact you already have it
You've just forgot where you last set it

If loving you from afar is all I can do then that's what I'll do
Everyday with every part of me

Sometimes that feeling comes back
That love that penetrates my skin
And crawls on under
That infects my cells
Leaving me with little control,
Intoxicated in the puddle I become
It convinces me to excuse the inexcusable
To sweep it all under the rug
Leaving me feeling like a puppet and you're holding onto the strings

You owe me an apology
I don't think this will ever go away
I don't think I'll ever get one
You're a cancer that doesn't **** instead makes me wish for death

It's starting to wane on my me
I'm ground and run down
I don't know how much longer I have until I'm only powder
Scrambling to be put back together and having no substance to even dream of dreaming I can be whole

Blue Skies or Gray
What's the difference
To me it's all the same

You'd think you were making a profit off my pain
But really I think it was all in good fun

Edging out the light

Some pictures are better when unseen

Then you're free to make up what ever it is you please

An angel in demon disguise

Sits with pursed lips

Patiently sighs

After every silly slip

A wilted rose

Brushes against your face

Smooth expectations

Listening to it crumble away

Scratch marks

Nothing more than a print made with a kiss

If I made it through the night
Believing you weren't my own
Would your blood be effervescent
With oddities?
Would they raise ideas,
Possibilities of possibilities?
Would boundlessness ensue?
Would you be barefoot of
Illogical unrarities?
I would fall in line
But I have to have insanely absolute certainty.

A backwards birth
We are the universe dying
Bleeding from every surface
At the speed of emotion

A whirl of a wind
Memories start to spin
A reel of time
A piece missing
It might be a chunk of my brain
Maybe it was fried or never there
Maybe that piece is you
My energy is pulling me in a direction I can't go
Grabbing and stretching every bit of my existence
The resistance alone is exhausting
Consumed by daydreams
Lost in thought
Constantly
Trying
Tiring
Millions of times everyday I've attempted to disband  
The very fulcrum that moves the winding wheel
That ticks and ticks in your name
I'm absolutely in love with it
Even though it's driving me insane

A song is what saved me
A little indie
With a reggae beat
Said in street rhymes
Standing on concrete

Lyrics that moved me
Filled with serenity
And victorious defeat
Graceful fluidity
Conducive and complete

My ears beg for more
One more time,
Seal on repeat  
A song helps me breath
My souls retreat