Chest pain is an agony that only ice-cold water can soothe
A chicken scratch throat, sore from the coughing only misery brings
My heart tells me to leave without you, to never ride along with you
When I feel like the person I once was is a ghost, a person long forgotten by this shell of an empty shallow being
Who looks in the mirror to see her own ghastly reflection each morning and thinks to herself if only this were the last time
The last time, she’d have to see this face, this body
Hear the broken vocals this shell can utter
It gets unbelievably easy to isolate yourself from the people you once thought held the world for you
Now you wouldn’t mind decaying before the ones you love as long as it meant that the spiral would end
Bottling fireflies in your belly, locking the key, burying it deep
It’s easy to be alone, it’s easy to shut everything out
But so incredibly difficult to say so

Locked into each other's arms
Passion burning in the pit of my stomach
We slow danced to Conway Twitty
As we stared into each other's eyes
I’ve never felt so secure
As our hearts wandered past the sea
Now all I know all need is to be with you
To touch you, talk to you
Stare into those deep meaningful brown eyes
And know that so much happier times are coming

Feeling safe in someone's arms
So comfortable
And free from the worlds prying eyes and pressures
I’ve never felt like that before
You make me feel like that
And I can’t get enough
I can’t get enough of you
I’ll wear your sweatshirt forever
Because it’s yours and smells like you
I’ll miss you every second
I love everything about you
I love you

Linoleum, single white floor tile
Stare at the ceiling for three hours
Follow me round the bend
To make sure I’m taking care of myself
When things got hard, free-flying into hard mattresses slamming cold, white catch yourself doors
Looking out the big barred window to see the humans below you who haven’t been caught not coping with their feelings yet
When the scratching started and didn’t stop until the clock struck six
Maybe it was the med cart that saved you that day
Shadows flicker in the dim light that glows to remind you that you are cared for, but only if you ask
You’re thought of only if reminded
You’re a priority but remember there is always someone else openly slamming that door while you lie and say you’re fine
You must believe I will get better to be with me
You must believe in me to be around me
Don’t spread your doubt about what you don’t know
To poison my tired mind
Because I am trying
And that’s all I can promise you

When has life ever been fair?
Sandstorm, stomp the ground
Scream! Get it all out
Anger and devastation has to come out
And you’ll be okay
I promise
Keep trying <3 ‘

Mommy, nothing about the way you raised me was normal
It hurts me to think out of everyone you may have hurt me the worst
Because you allowed me to think it was normal
You put me in ****** situations at an extremely young age
Momma, I was four
This was before Dad died
He was on top of you and I was on top of him
If it didn’t happen then why do I remember the PJs i was wearing?
Why do I remember how sweaty he was and how the tv was going?
I remember it was late and my sister was sleeping in her room
Why should I have to explain this to you?
I know you remember
I always thought it was normal how you let me look and touch your body
I was six or seven, I was curious about what I was always exposed to
It made me uncomfortable that you would always talk about how you loved my *******
I told you this
I will most likely never tell
Because I am scared of the men you exposed me to
But I am more scared of you
I thought that you’d never hurt me
But nothing about the way I was raised was normal

She only listens to Nirvana and The smiths
Drinks black coffee and replaces every meal with a nicotine puff stick
Manic pixie dream *****
Changes your dull life and gives you that eccentric fix
Her dyed hot pink hair and split ends show she’s mentally unattached
Dependency on the broken, beautiful things living in conservative ghost towns
Rich, white, handsome, boring catch
She’ll always leave because, in the end, you are not what she needs
And you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting the words you so freely spouted
Remembering the lessons she left you when she disappeared