Darling I’m thinking of getting implants.
Right fine, I was going to the gardening centre today, we can go together
No silly, breast implants.
You already have two *******.
I want bigger ones.
How much do they cost.
Eight thousand pounds.
What, four thousand a breast, are they gold.
It’ll be worth it, and you are a breast man.
For that price, I would expect a lifetime subscription for Farleys Rusks.
You wait till you take my bra off.
That’s another thing, a new wardrobe.
Think of it as a Valentines present.
Wouldn’t you like a ring instead.
No, I want bigger *******.
I want a bigger ****, but I can’t have one.
Well actually you can darling.
Not for those prices.
No, the surgeon says he can take a bit of fat off my ******* and insert it into your *****.
What, you’ve been discussing me with the surgeon.
Yes, seemingly it’s the rage.
Oh I don’t know, seems a bit Frankenstein to me.
Just think, you could be walking about with me inside you.
That’s another thing, you’re always complaining about your *******.
Only when you grab them like rugby *****.
I get excited easily.
Why don’t we go to bed and discuss it.
Oh no you don’t, before I know it you’ll be getting a nose job.
Look at my ******* darling, now imagine them bigger, can you see it.
All I can see is pound signs.
Put that extra large ***** inside me, how are you feeling now.
I’m feeling poor.
You’re not looking properly, visualise me taking my bra off, you’re getting *****, you can’t take your eyes off them. What do you see now
My god it's amazing, I can see it now, do you think I can dip my rusk in your milk.

**** in black
**** in blue
Doesn’t want to talk
Doesn’t want your heart

Wants you for the day
Wants you for the night
Just not tomorrow
Then you’re out of sight

Laughs at wedding blues
Vows for him and you
Bound for life in haste
God what a waste

What a beautiful boy
Must be such a joy
Keeping you up all night
Such a delight

Got him in sight
He’ll do for the night
No number required
Girls delight

Dresses to thrill
Goes in for the ****
She’ll never be true
**** in black
**** in blue.

She watches, and the road drives on
He’s gone, yet the clock keeps ticking
Only in that moment, does she smile
He said it would pass, just like life
You’ve got to live it
No point dancing in the past
Not with the looks of an angel
He was full of ****, so was she
The grass was long then
With mountains that stole your innocence
Miles from the watching eyes
Where love lasted a whole day
Regrets were hid away
Seemed like yesterday
Now she’s alone with him
So respectable she almost cries
For a marriage full of lies
A pillar to all that died
The mountains stood there
Just for a moment
Looking down on innocence
She watches, and the road drives on
He's gone, yet the clock keeps ticking.

Will you let it go
No
C'mon trust me
Trust you?
Yes I won't let you down
I'd rather jump out of an airplane without a parachute  and hope for the best, than trust you
Think we’re getting a bit melodramatic again
Do you see a sign on my head that says, kick here
I just see the woman I love
Did you see me when you were in bed with my sister
Think I explained  that scenario
Yes, and I’ve heard it called many things before, but never a scenario
You know your sister's trying to get pregnant
I’m quite aware of that, that’s why she has a husband
I know that silly, but he’s a foreigner
What's that got to do with it
It doesn’t operate in this country
What, what do you mean
Isn't it obvious, he comes from the other side of the world
So ****** what
Jesus woman, do I need to spell it out for you
Yes, spell it out, cause you’ve sure got me confused
It’s upside down
What, I didn’t know that happened
Neither did your sister, that’s what she was showing me
I was wondering why  she was so embarrassed
I know darling, now they have to go back round the world to get pregnant
My god, that’s terrible
I know, and the worse thing is, you’ll need to apologise for calling her a *****.

By Lily and Paul.

He was never quite sure
What it was
That turned him on the most
Watching her getting undressed
Watching her getting dressed
Going back to him
Walking away
Till another day
They could turn and play
Plan the future
Write the play
The failure of adultery
Pick the day
Turn the card
Who changed the rules
Walking away
Running back
To that day
The road of no ending
Fighting the phone
Watching you getting undressed
Watching you getting dressed
Going back to him.

Rock, how long has it been
Is that three days now
Do you know what this means
No death for me
What do you see rock, am I free
You must see many like me
I’ll apologise for them
We’re the scourge I know
We come, we go
Unlike you rock, this paradise your home
Where you belong
Maybe this day is the end
Time to go
Alas no
Over yonder I see
So young and brave
Reckless and free
Coming for me
Tell me rock, was I young once
Did I kick a ball
You must know
Being so great and all
Look at them rock
Fighting to be free
Isn't it ironic, they're fighting me
I’m already free
Why am I here rock
Explain it to me
No time now rock they're here
I took the money
Time to earn my fee
Look at them rock
Dying to be free
So young
Dying to be free
Did you answer me rock
Was I ever young
Did I kick a ball
I’m out rock
It’s you and me
Don’t cry, let them be free
Isn’t it ironic rock
I'm also free.

He was sat on the bridge when the stranger appeared
No words
He lit a cigarette
Then spoke
Woman
I nodded
Mortal man
Destiny unplanned
Soul who waits
His tempered fate
Let me paint you a scene
Dead body, screams
Lots of tears
No sound, as they lower you into the ground
Two weeks down the line
Slight anger
You made her cry
Made her guilty, why
You were the dumb one, stupid guy
Now you’ve gone
She’s moving on
Thats life
Though, there is another way
You could stay
Tough it out
Times change
Maybe she wasn’t the one
Who knows
Tonight you die
Or tomorrow you grow
Let me know
Then he was gone.

Nobody cries for yesterday
Not me, not you
Only the dead on the hill
Walk in the night
In this foolish world of lies
Where buildings mourn
And the world drowns
It was then
It was in that moment
I realised
You were maybe everything
I needed
To make my life complete
On this crazy journey, we call life
Every road has an ending
If you walk the distance asked
People stop and touch you for a time
Sometimes you’re grateful
Sometimes not
In the light of the house
You may see me looking in
The guy on the road
Finally realising
You were maybe everything
I needed
Wishing you happiness
On that crazy journey, we call life.

He liked the idea of space.
The final frontier.
Smoking stars on Saturn's rings.
Yeah, that would do it.
The five o’clock rush was a *****.
The eight a.m. rush was a double *****.
*****, *****, *****.
People on phones.
Wanting to know how their shares were performing.
The wife trying on outfits.
That’s a performance.
Your shares, Titanic comes to mind.
Yes sir, your shares are performing just as i told you they would.
They’re somewhere in between my lies, and my imagination.
They say we’ll be driving driverless cars soon.
The five o’clock rush is now down to just a *****.
The eight a.m. *****, *****.
Two driverless cars were caught at a strange hotel.
The court ruling found in favour of the drivers, Mr X, and Mrs X.
Blaming software problems.
The judge put that into his little black book.
Yes sir, not only would i put my life savings into that company, i would remortgage my house.
Nice little island in the sun, no phones.
The crash was blamed on driverless cars.
No one at the helm.
The judge was having none of it.
Subpoenas were flying in all directions.
Mr and Mrs X had fled the country.
It was all in the little black book.

You can run, you can hide
But you won't get far
Cos I’m outside
In your dreams
Through your day
Where you turn
I’m in the way
Bury me deep
Place the stone
Read the speech
Walk alone
I see you
What you did wrong
Bolt the door
Protect your soul
Build the barricade
Dig the hole
I’m in your mind now
Do you see
Yes, it’s really me
Unbolt the door
Tear the barricade down
I’m all around
How do you get free
You can run, you can hide
But you won't get far
Cos i’m outside
I’m pushing
Surely you can see
Your only option
Is on the tree.

It was the new way to say goodbye
Simply text

Dear John
It’s over
Don’t cry
Must fly
Time to start anew

And if it doesn’t work out
We know just what to do

Dear Jane
Been thinking about this for a while
It’s your style
Just not for me
Want to start something new
Be seeing you

What the hell
No style
Dear John
Have you gone mad
Are you on the moon
Been thinking for a while
I've got no style

Dear Jane
It’s not all about you
Look at the bigger picture
We can see other people
Now that we’re through

Dear John
I can’t get my head round this
We’ll have to meet up
I’m all in a tiz

Dear Jane
Only if you insist.

The guy went crackers in the war
Now he sells daffodils down  the old grave road
Sings songs about the dead
His daily bread
The kids throw stones
Shout out names
It’s a shame
Who can you blame
One day the kids were playing in the river
Tommy got into trouble, panic ensued
They ran to him in tears
He ran back with them, diving straight in
Tommy felt the strong arms lift him above the water
His friends pulled him onto the grass
I’ll go back for the rest he shouted
It was only Tommy
No, there’s always more
He swam out till lost from view
They talked about him for awhile
The usual words always came back
He went crackers in the war.

You defy belief
Thanks dear
I mean, seven in the morning and you’re sober
Pub went on fire, early night
Someday you will die a lonely man
My God, that philosophy degree has done you good
Why, because i state the obvious
Exactly, we’re all going to die someday
Not from liver cirrhosis
No, you’ll go from nagging-itis
Always the comic
Being married to you dear, brings out the best in me
Do you ever wonder why i left
Have you left
Yes, i’m now happy with Jeff
Philosophy again, seven in the morning, you passing by
I was concerned about you
Jeff’s boring the pants off you
No he isn't, he’s my rock
Fancy a quickie
Certainly not
C’mon he’s a boring history teacher
Jeff’s a lecturer
It’s written all over your face, frustration my dear
Our *** life is great
*** to the Boer war, riveting
Jeff is tuned into me
Battle of Britain music, is that oral to Jeff
Fucken hate you
I see that look in your eyes
Hate you
You want me
Shut up, lets go
Will you be passing by again anytime soon
Not if i can help it
You sure, i don’t mind helping out
Going for a romantic weekend with Jeff
See you Monday then
Only if i'm passing by

She needed the love
Like the stars needed the sky
The trees needed the rain
The passion would come later
Always later

She bled, like women do
Sometimes freely
Sometimes not
Just the first cut hurt
It was life

She needed the love
Like the fish needed the sea
The sun needed the moon
The passion would come later
Always later

She bled, like women do
Small droplets at first
Only blood
Just the first cut hurt
It was life

She needed the love
It was life
Just the first cut hurt
The passion would come later
Always later.

I definitely won't be inviting you into my bed
I definitely won’t be making love with you
I definitely, definitely, definitely
You make me smile
Brought me back
Put the light back into my life
Seems strange I had to go through the pain to meet you
Life is a paradox I suppose
Tonight I’ll make you a special meal
Nice bottle of wine
You’ll tell me outrageous stories
That can't possible be true
Well I hope they’re not true
I’ll laugh and cry
Say thanks a thousand times more than I should
You’ll say I’m ready
Time to fly
I know
It’s been a journey
Just one last thing to do
I definitely won't be inviting you into my bed
I definitely won’t be making love with you
In the morning I’ll whisper in your ear
I love you
Later on
I’ll rejoin the world.

That sad lament flickering through her day
Buried deep, but not deep enough
Folded flag, a reminder of the love never returned
Death the escape, but still the prisoner
Married to the ego
Maybe both
The beauty queen, ugly inside
She heard the words. One ego, that’s a bang. Two ego’s, that’s an explosion.
He would wait for her, he liked the ugly side
How did he know the ending
She didn’t know, and she was living it
The flags, the medals, the shiny crown
He threw his in the river, went back to his old life
She didn’t understand how he could do that
He was part of it
They were all part of it
She was kidding herself
Like the crown that defined her
Living on memories
Waiting out time
She wanted life
The war hero’s widow
They would put that on her gravestone
She began to understand him now
He was free
He’d won his war
Now he was waiting for her to win hers
Her own freedom
The sun was shining the day she handed the flag and medals to his mum
The walk over the bridge would finally set her free
The crown didn’t make much of a splash
No bang, no explosion
Just so much more
He liked her ugly side
She liked that just fine.

She ***** him
He’s ******* somebody else
They come together
Just different worlds apart

She stalks his dreams
He’s lost in her soul
Together apart
Apart together

She scratches her name deep inside him
He penetrates her mind
Mind blowing
Just different worlds apart

She bares all
He caresses deep inside
But not deep enough
Not right into her soul

She screams injustice
He pulls away
Naked and pleading
Just different worlds apart

She dresses for the last time
He walks away
She goes back to him
They come together.

How many bodies are floating down the river
How many
Where do they go on that lonely journey
That final destination
Till they’re found
Is it you
What went wrong
Your final thoughts
Was it for yourself
Someone close
Maybe just the release of pain
What went through your mind on that lonely walk
Was there anyway back
Was there
Who knows what went through your mind
Your thoughts
When you climbed onto the bridge
Was there anyway back
I suppose not
Did the water take your pain
Take it all away
I hope so
I really do.

She looks down on the marriage
Picture of woe
Words of, told you so
Open your eyes
Fool in disguise
Pretty doll dressed in white
Porcelain pieces shiny bright
Escaping from words
I told you so
With nowhere to go
Dreams like the flowers
Withered and gone
Just like the fairy tale
That didn’t belong
Porcelain girl
Dreams so bright
Closes the door
Into the night
Keepsake of a picture
Pretty in white
She tried her best
Just wasn’t right
The girls a woman now
Daughter in tow
Harsh lesson for grandparents
Who didn’t want to know
Now they live with the words
I told you so.

Shirley girl it’s been a thrill
Let me introduce you to Bill
He has a dog called Jet
He’s a solid bet
You’re dumping me after an hour
One hour
Sixty minutes of bliss
How you reminisced
Your ex Ted
Shot himself in the head
Mother Jill
Lying at the bottom of the hill
Father John
Somewhere in the Amazon
Grandad Cain
Threw himself under a train
Granny Flo
Where did she go
Not forgetting brother Fred
Lost, presumed dead
Then you mention your lesbian lover Di
Who right away I’m thinking
How did she die
Not realising, you must be Bi
Then just as I’m getting my head round that
You mention the cat
Is there a dog
What about the fog
Oh, that’s what caused the bus to disappear into the bog
You saved the lollypop man Jack
Well, that’s a blessing
What
Died next day, heart attack
Shirley doll
Don’t think of me as a bit of a moaner
But Jesus girl
You're a ****** Jonah.

Let me introduce myself
My name is suicide
I live in the shadows
Just at the back of your mind
You’ll probably never meet me
Sometimes i’m on posters
Usually in your doctor’s waiting room
You may glance at me
Put me to the back of your mind
That continuous cough
Your main concern today
Sure you’ll get better soon
Now we come to the other guy
I’m at the forefront now
Doesn’t seem to be any alternatives
No introduction needed
No explanation required
Sometimes we have a trial run
Just to see
But really our mind is made up
The poster stares right at him
Taunting, asking what he’s thinking
What is he thinking
The same thoughts as yesterday
The day before yesterday
Today
Tomorrow
The cough would have responded to antibiotics
But it was never really about the cough.

You gotta let the blood out the body
You gotta let it all fade away
Once the blood is out the body
Then the body can reawake

You gotta walk the streets at night
Watch the victims shining bright
Waiting for dreams that never come true
Clinging to life nearly through

You gotta let the blood out the body
You gotta let it all fade away
Once the blood is out the body
Then the body can reawake

You gotta watch their eyes
No hiding, no disguise
Vacant pools lacking soul
Destiny’s ashes burning coals

You gotta let the blood out the body
You gotta let it all fade away
Once the blood is out the body
Then the body can reawake

You gotta cut the body wide
Gotta cut it deep inside
See the pictures life unfold
Death in jars, story told.

It’s with heavy heart I pen this verse
Watching your father pass in the hearse
Takes me back to that night in the shed
When you said, this is like fireworks
It was,  I dropped the cigarette on the petrol can
Still, as I remarked not many sheds get a technicolour funeral
He was beyond reason
Not helped when rumours of ***** magazines started circulating
He told me straight, marry my daughter and I’ll **** myself
So we married in haste
But he didn’t keep his promise
What a waste
Still, when that great oak fell on top of his new shed
I had a grin from ear to ear
It was like the chainsaw massacre, but more fun
It was about that time you found god
I found your sister
You forgave me, I was weak
She was pregnant, sixteen weeks
Your dad went mad, he said I was the devil incarnate
Then he dropped dead
They looked at me in horror, in dread
Like it was something I said
Do something they cried
I didn’t know any songs, so I punched him between the eyes
He was definitely dead
I carried the coffin
The least  I could do
I shed a tear, maybe two
We decided to scatter his ashes over his pride and joy
But they couldn’t be found
The crematorium were in shock, people were running around
It was like he just disappeared
I was agog
Couldn’t see the mist for the smog
Later that day, just to console
I produced a big rocket
Really his soul
I set it off, and said goodbye
They had a little cry
It climbed high in the sky
They gave a sigh
Should it not explode
Well it is supposed to go with a bang
Just then it made its descent
It was like he was heaven sent
Plummeting to earth
Mad as hell
We all dived for cover
Just as well
She screamed, oh god, oh boy
No need to tell you where he landed
Okay then
His comfort and joy.

I’m walking to my grave everyday
A step closer to being saved
It says it on the sign
Jesus saves
Come in, take a pew
Conversions at two
Bit like the Pub
Come in, take a pew
Have a few, looking great
How do you do
Both battling for my being
The all seeing
The neon sign
Both providing spirits for the weak
Who do you seek
It’s a dilemma everyday
Yet one i play
I take a pew
Raise a few
Look up to see
Our Father and me.

The marriage was a sham
Nothing more, nothing less
The only happy people were her parents
It stood well with them
Years and years, it stood well with them
She couldn’t even blame him
He was everything another woman would have wanted
Just not her
The note was brief
He’d get over her in time
Now time was all she had
Forty two and alone
Seeking enlightenment, just seeking
He was about twenty
Told her he would like to make love with her
Was this the new generation
No courtship, just ***
Though, he didn’t ask for ***
He asked to make love
Maybe it was the experienced woman he was looking for
If lying on her back was experience, she was that woman
Strangely enough, lying on her back seemed a long time after he removed her dress
Never in her life did she dream of someone kissing her through her underwear
The absolute pleasure just derived by somebody touching the right spot
No one had explored her whole body before
No, she didn’t remember being on her back
She did remember being on top
Totally in control
She did remember exploring his young body, the second ****** as good as the first
More surprisingly
She remembered walking around naked totally unashamed.

You couldn’t deny her beauty
The papers remind you everyday
The pictures in vogue
Testament of today
She portrays the perfect woman
The envy of many
The hatred of many more
But no woman is perfect
They all have flaws
She closes the door
Leaving the world behind
Time to unwind
Finds her little cache
The powder of life
Loves little hope
For awhile she’s lost in dreams
The demons scream
Tomorrow the cameras flash
To the most beautiful woman in the world.

The blade cut deep
She died laughing
Death was a relief
Unlike her life
Riddled with betrayal
He noticed no blood flowing from her hateful body
He was always sure she was bloodless
She certainly lacked all human feeling
But even a ***** like her would possess some blood
He bent down to check just as she was rising
Something in his brain registered
Sudden disbelief, sudden shock
Words in mouth froze
As total shock shook his entire being
The knife entered his neck
Spurting blood in all directions
His fingers tried to stem the flow
She watched him
Fascinated at the pattern he was painting
So strange she thought
He always said she was the bloodless ******.

It was raining when I met her.
A sure sign.
I ignored it.
Many a love story started in the rain.
We headed into the restaurant.
She throttled her brolly, drenching me in the process.
I ignored it, my white suit didn’t.
She perused the menu.
I suggested drinks.
Yes, plain water is so invigorating.
If you’re in the Sahara desert, it sure is.
Another sign.
The vegan menu was excellent, she said.
The 16 ounce steak with animal still attached wasn’t, seemingly.
We talked about the benefits of a vegan diet. She talked about the benefits of a vegan diet.
I saw her roasting over a well lit spit with an apple in her mouth.
Another sign.
I played carrots on the plate game.
She grew her own potatoes, she said.
My eyes lit up at the thought of her having a little plot. Or maybe the thought of her in the plot. That was cruel. Just because she has a passion for something, there’s no need to be negative about it. Just eat the **** meal, the benefits will come later.
I am going to stay celibate till the right man comes along.
Okay so the benefits may take awhile, a lifetime by the looks of it.
Think of something interesting to say. Do you think Jesus, had he been on the farm. Do you think he would have fed the five thousand bread and steak.
I am a bit of a theologian myself, let me explain.
Christ, now I've opened a can of worms. A can of worms in sauce, how good does that sound. Maybe if I prayed hard, the uncelibacy god would whack her over the head.
How do you feel about *** before marriage, she said.
I think it’s a great idea. Okay her eyes are bulging out her head. Actually I think if a couple loved each other, they would wait. Okay, eyes back in head.
I totally agree, I think once the baby is conceived, there’s no need for ***. Don’t you agree.
Okay, carrots and peas, no ***, she definitely won’t have a telly, so that’s foreplay out the window. Yes I agree. How many kids are you thinking of having.
I was thinking about six.
Christ, we’ll be called the fruit and veg family. Right, desperate times call for desperate measures.
Wish I hadn’t got that vasectomy now.
What.
I’ve had the snip.
You have committed the greatest sin ever. I thought when I met you there was a sign hanging over you. I’ll have to go, I really need to get to confessional, unburden myself.
Would you like me to join you.
No, you are past redemption.
That’s a shame. I really felt the signs were looking good.

It’s three in the morning
The whisky bottle stares, daring
The calm night screams
Death haunt memories unbury
Unravelling faces long dead
But seeking answers
The sacrificed
That’s what we called them
Left behind
For the greater good
Our greater good
Like we shot you with betrayal
That would be mercy
Your screams then
Like your screams now
Awake us like a knife to the chest
We hide the guilt
Create hero status on your behalf
Bestow greatness on your forgotten souls
Hide in the dead of night
Praying deep graves stay closed
It’s three in the morning
The whisky bottle stares, daring
Restless sleep fights the night drowning
The new day brings change
Fear gone
For at least another year.

The first mile is tough
The last mile is the toughest
I liked the way she played with her hair
Liked her smile
She had a calming effect on me
The in between was just numb minding
Just distance for the sake of distance
Some never made it, some did
She hated cruelty
One of god's creatures
To good for me
Just to good
The body wants to give up
That little voice agrees
Just dumb for the sake of dumb
I was a dumb one
Everybody loved her
She was one of the special ones
They always take the special ones
Sometimes when the pain gets too much
I’ll run the hill
Just to see her play with her hair
It’s worth the pain

I'm going to build a human rocket
Okay, stop there, let me take you back to chemistry class
Remember the blast, the six foot hole
I know, but I was young then, now I know what I'm doing
Okay, let me remind you, your supersonic car
The passengers on the top deck of the number 49 watched you flying by
You caused mayhem
Exactly, now I've recalculated
My god, the exact words you used with your rotorless helicopter
People have stopped using the 49  now
Mrs Brown took a heart attack when she saw you with a screwdriver
You have to stop man
Can’t, I'm on the verge of greatness
Don’t use that word, verge
Your electric car, and the mile long length of cable
That poor driver, when you turned in front of him
He just stopped the bus, walked up to the psychiatric hospital, and committed himself
Well I can hardly be blamed for that
Never understood why he gave up the teaching job
Look, just go down the Job centre, they’ll fix you up with something
Now promise me
Okay,I’ll go down the Job centre

One week later
News has just come in of a suspected terrorist attack in London, reports of an Exocet missile flying round Big Ben have been confirmed.
Police have now confirmed the missile was in fact a human rocket.
Latest reports coming in, seem to suggest the terrorist has been killed by a Double decker bus, we also believe the driver was attacked by the passengers, suggesting a second terrorist was involved.
Police have now totally ruled out the attack on Big ben as a terrorist attack, reports coming in suggest the human rocket was in fact an ex chemistry teacher, sketchy reports are also coming in regarding the 49 bus, which seemed to be a hundred miles off route.
Passengers tell of the horrendous journey,the bus company say the driver had removed the route sat nav, replacing it with a revolutionary sat nav he had invented that day.
As a mark of respect, the bus company say they will be changing the 49 to the new 50. Relaunched that day, all was going well for the new driver, till a large Bat shaped object landed on the windscreen.

They looked like any other couple on the beach
Hand in hand
She was planning the future
Marriage, children, happiness
He would be going away
She couldn’t take it in at first
Nothing made sense
He tried to explain
It was like a calling
Something that grew and grew
Stronger than them both
Devastated, she left
He went off to war
Years of battles
Inflicting horror
Receiving the scars without complaint
Battle hardened
He saw her on the beach
Mother and child
Her dreams come true he hoped
He watched them for awhile
Thinking back to times before
Hand in hand
No regrets
She didn’t recognize him at first
His face like granite
Scared her
They talked
He would be staying awhile
The beach would bring them back
He watched as she slept
So peaceful
Unlike his own nightmares
Always death
Though at times they were a comfort
Something told him to stay
He saw a family
A future
He would be going
A letter his final gift
She didn’t ask him to stay
It was never meant to be
The journeys end more sweet
She was a woman
The attack came at dawn
******, battlefield lost
He felt good
Hand in hand
She let the sea take his ashes
Blowing back against her
The children were playing
The war was over
She was happy.

My Marie, wasted so much time watching
Sat behind your image, I always wondered
Type me another picture, so I can look inside your head
Reach the final thread

When all the words are said and done
And times we have no longer fun
Please remember how it all begun
Cause no one won, no one won

My Marie, did you really think I’d change
Become your love, rearrange my life to suit your soul
Could we really be such fools
Expect to change the rules forever

When all the words are said and done
And times we have no longer fun
Please remember how it all begun
Cause no one won, no one won

My Marie, another picture in another place
***** talk, ***** ******
Lousy love that didn’t please
High class *****, ******* tease

When all the words are said and done
And times we have no longer fun
Please remember how it all begun
Cause no one won, no one won

My Marie, dressed to thrill, stocking tops where guys would ****
Pink champagne upon your *******
Trickling down your shaven nest
Sighs to screams, frenzied pace
Champagne and love, the sultry taste

When all the words are said and done
And times we have no longer fun
Please remember how it all begun
Cause no one won, no one won

My Marie, we fight goodbye
Mocking insults, tears to cry
Words like daggers deep inside
Daggers deep inside
Goodbye Marie, our time has come
The pictures running dry
Sat behind your image, I always wondered why

One day I was feeling all alone
Felt so really down
Remembered a pair of lacy pants
And put them to my brow
Champagne and scent came flooding back, and time began to clear
For a fleeting moment I had you
And then you weren't there.

She called them the sad days
The wasted days
Hated days
Moving on days

He called them the hard days
The bad days
Sad days
Moving on days

She blamed him
****** men
Mental torture
Good riddance

He blamed her
****** women
No respect
Goodbye

She wanted love
Commitment
Wanted him
Needed him

He needed love
Needed space
Needed time
Wanted her

She couldn’t move on
Wouldn’t move on
Hated time
Hated him

He drank the bar
Numbed the pain
Saw the train
No need to explain

She took the call
Final fall
Found the pills
Ended it all.

Your Haunting death
Like your life
Still leave them cold
They search for reasons
Answers that defy questions
Remember what you told me
Wrong body, wrong time
But not to worry
Get it right next time
So I tell them
Wrong body, wrong time
They can’t define
You were on such a high that night
We laughed until dawn
The final toast
As you lay upon
That haunting smile goodbye
Before you died
One more for the road
Keepsake to the good times
One glass left behind
See you next time my friend
New body, right time.

She said I was history.
Then she said she would give me one more chance.
Then she said I didn’t deserve a second chance.
Then just as I was about to speak.
She said, I mean, who the hell do you think you are.
I was just about to say.
She said, this is definitely your last warning.
I was silent for a few seconds.
Well what do you have to say for yourself.
This is a wrong number.
What.
You’re not speaking to the guy you’re dumping.
Well why the hell did you let me rabble on.
To be truthful, I sort of get dumped a lot by phone, I just didn’t recognise the number.
That’s because you’re all jerks.
Well why don’t I take you out tonight to get over the ****.
Get knotted, consider yourself and the **** dumped.
Got a feeling she’ll phone back later and apologize, and then take me up on my offer, and when she gets to know me better.
She’ll definitely dump me.

Lily Nurmi.


My god, red bra, orange pants, and green socks, I’m making love to a traffic light.

Get on with it.

I can’t, where do I start.

What does it matter.

It matters a lot, if I start with your bra, do I stop, or do I drive on knowing three penalty points and an eighty pound fine are coming my way. Do I start with your pants, amber gambling, if I start with your socks, then that’s it, I’m away.

Well. what do you expect me to do.

I expect you to dress appropriately for the occasion, I mean, Gok Wan couldn’t fix you.

Well, if we’re in an insulting mood, I don’t like the tiger pants you wear, especially as tiger’s are nearly extinct.

Oh god, did you really say that, I’m going out with a *****, 0.5 wit.

What does that mean.

It means you’re a half wit.

Well, I was going to get naked, and put my duffle coat on to get you excited, but not now.

Just what every guy wants, a naked girl in a duffle coat.

Some guys would die to see me naked in a duffle coat.

Do you know, you’re right, I've now got this fantasy in my head, put on an orange hat, and wow, pelican crossing.

Get knotted, and I tell you now, that’s the only action you’ll get tonight

Well, in that case I’ll just have to create a fantasy

On he went with it, hallucinating vividly while she stood there, unarmed and furious.

Hell she was already *****, maybe she could save the situation. She looked down at her pants.

You know, you could still drive, if you have already crossed the line.

His eyes opened quickly, as if trying to catch her lying. He considered it...

Lose the bra and the socks

Lose the tiger get up

Both coming halfway, they now stood in the living room, one more naked than the other. Still a little insulted she went on to caress his member.

He, too stubborn to show his pleasure, gazed at the ceiling, feigning boredom.

Furious she slapped him across his face with a high pitched shriek, picked up her things and walked towards the door, getting dressed on the go.

Realizing he had gone too far and that he was now all up and running, he tried to bring her to other ideas...

BAM went the door.

She'll call.

Black on good
Touches his manhood
Like a mother should
Thinks it should be in a museum
For God and good
Joey, dreamlike
Always plays it cool
Keeps a gun tucked
Fourteen carat
Sideways dude
Mississippi, likes the rap
Urban cowboy
Got a holster with a flap
Just call me Missi
With an I
The first to die
Deals going down
Going down good
Expansion is the mood
Big time round the bend
Not now but when
Time to ascend
Hit the new den
Death was quick for Missi
With an I
No fast draw
Urban cowboy
Shot in both eyes
Joey heard the scream
Through the dream
Pulled from the tuck
**** you all
Shot off his *****
Sideways fall
Black on good
Like a brother
Felt their pain
Shot trying to save
Respect
Got his final wish
Passed the Museum to his grave.

The rain had brought the animals into shelter
They were wary of him
He could sense their concern
The smell was wrong
He was the unknown
He felt the same
Always out of place
His mind drifted back
Her face came into view
The words distorting
Anger through the tears
She would find another
He was sure of that
The snake slithered over him
Curious, but alert to danger
Trigger alert, just like him
He hated going back
They hated him
**** water townsfolk
They flew the flag
But not for him
His surroundings suited
Camouflaged, just like his life
They came into view
Four shots, death in the rain
The animals scattered for a time
But slowly returned
They were wary of him
The smell was wrong
Dead humans appeared to surround him
Her face came into view
The words distorting
Flags were waving
She understood now
The animals began to accept him
He was part of the surroundings.

Behind the wire
Watching
The keeper of life
Burdened by memories
Too terrible for mortal man
Asking only sanctuary
Crumbs to die free
Image of a woman and children
Long gone
Evoking anger
Passion long suppressed
Time running out
Glory be
The wire divides
The whistle echoes
Demons fight for the final time
Silence
Angels collect the remnants of time.

There’s a woman on the phone who says she’s pregnant, explanation.
Well, in simple terms, the man has to impregnate the woman, this may take several occasions, but you get the gist.
Oh I get the gist alright, so how many occasions did it take.
Well, it's hardly the thing you talk about when you’re planning a baby.
What, how long has this been going on.
How would I know, might be one night, might be long term, why don't you ask her.
I’m not asking your floosie things like that, you should know.
Typical woman, just because a pregnant woman is on the phone, you naturally assume the worse.
I have reason to assume the worse, the neighbours bed you assembled.
Don’t remind me of that, Chinese instructions, it was a nightmare.
I was more thinking of how I caught you in bed with her.
You didn’t catch us in the physical sense, we were testing the bed.
And you had to be naked to do that.
She’s Scandinavian, that’s what they do.
You were under the covers.
She was covering her modesty, the embarrassment you caused that day.
Yeah, I’m gutted.
You really  have to do something about this paranoia.
Are you saying I’m nuts.
Well, the facts do speak for themselves.
You’re so right, it’s a strange thing paranoia, sometimes I think young James isn’t yours.
Just as well he’s the spitting image of me then.
Yes, that’s the strange thing, he’s the spitting image of your brother too.
What, what are you saying, have you been bedding my brother.
Not in the physical sense I think
Well in that case young James is definitely mine then.
Don’t know, the ****** your brother used, the instructions were in Chinese.

Paul Gaffney & Lily Nurmi.

The long rope hung in the air
The song was playing in his head
The barrel spins, click
He heard the voice
You are in charge of your weapon, always
The day the weapon takes charge of you, is the day we find you
The song plays in his head
The barrel spins, click
He wouldn’t die
The rope shook, but he wouldn’t die
He unloaded the magazine into his head
He done the decent thing
The song played in his head
The barrel spins, click
Images started to appear
He wouldn’t sleep
The house was the fortress now
The song played in his head
The barrel spins, click
The long rope hung in the air
He watched him walk away, smiling, inviting him
Destiny
The song played in his head
The barrel spins
The song plays into the distance.

I draw you in
Five rings of smoke appear like magic
Your face on every one
Christ how romantic am I
Maybe drink a JD  in your honour
It's amazing how little things bring you to me
The phone comes alive halfway through your honour
Your soft **** voice sends a tingle down my spine
You say it's over
Well, that was out of the blue
I draw you in
The sign on the packet
Smoking can damage your health and eventually **** you
So profound
I check the bottle of JD
No warning on that
You disappear into the clouds
Every one a silver lining.

The other woman
She was okay for a time
But then she changed
Wanted to be the woman
But that’s not in the rules
She didn’t seem to understand
It’s written in stone
I told her
That’s why it’s called the other woman
She couldn’t grasp the fact
Wanted more
But more is not in the contract
She was insistent
I couldn’t get through to her
You are the other woman
The outer circle
I give you my time, presents
You give me ***
That’s how the contract works
She just wasn’t having it, wanted more
I had to **** her
She just didn’t see it
If she had just taken the time
She would have read it
The small print
In the contract.

Shallow days on memory lane
She was sick of the looks
Safely hidden, he’s free
Stupid men in suits
Softly softly, on the move
Shut out, she’d show them
Silent strike, number seven
Suits in panic, no trail
Surrounded by friends, searching
Serial killer, public panic
Satisfied, eyes set on number eight
She sees the connection
Sky is black, perfect conditions
Suits are skeptical
Standing in the shadows, he waits
She gets confirmation
She’s walking towards him
Slowly slowly, she opens the door
Smiling, he strikes
She stabs upwards
Something not right, he runs
Suits all around
Sees number eight
She's laughing.

She looks at the clock
Waiting
The unlocking of the door
No words
The distant looks
Separate rooms
Separate lives
Soon
Separate ways
The clock kept ticking
Ticking, ticking, ticking
Next week
Her new life
An hour passed
Strange
She felt it
That eerie feeling
Shook her
The doorbell ringing
Hit her like a bolt
The unlocking of the door
No words needed
So strange
The clock had stopped ticking.

Alas we didn’t meet, and now the scene has passed
Destiny must run true
Though I wish it wasn’t you
The years have stole your best girl
Something I used to see has faded
Your nights have stayed dark
Eyes entombed in sadness
I hear the men in white talk to you now
Touched me for a time
Tried to recall a date
Saw your face to late
If I could change the scene
I’d have you in my dream
Take you from your pain
Let you start again
I used to know this girl, called
What the hell
I didn’t know her well
Seems she went insane today
I turned the page
Seemed the only way.

You Never Know.

The man looks very important.
He has a clipboard in his hand.
He stops me in mid stride.
Excuse me sir, do you know what planet you’re on.
Just goes to show you.
Appearances can be deceptive.


          
                        
Batman watched as Superman flew into sight.
How goes it Superman.
Terrible, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.
Pray tell my good friend.
Well, I was flying over Manhattan when I spotted Wonder woman naked on top of a building.
What was she doing.
She was sort of writhing in a real **** way, just inviting me to join her.
What did you do.
I got naked in mid air and flew right down there.
Bet she got the shock of her life.
She did, but not as much as the invisible man.

Rozanna, bible in her hand
Took me through the dark days
Showed me another way
I hold her hand

Rozanna, praise the lord for me
Set me free
My thoughts were dark from the start
I wanted your soul

Rozanna, your words like you are true
The good book was made for you
The passion in your eyes
The love, there’s no disguise

Rozanna, I tried, glad I failed
You can’t beat God
I know that
Knew from the start

Rozanna, bible in her hand
God in her heart
Making a stand
I watch her, rifle in  hand
God bless Rozanna.

The picture stared down at the old man
Good times, friends for life
The decomposing body was in its second year now
The dust and webs had cloaked him like a blanket
Giving him comfort that life denied him
Time ago, they would have classed him as a hero, time ago
The black van took him away
Eventually releasing the body for burning
The prayers were brief
His final epitaph came when the council cleared the house
The picture was the last to go in the skip
Glancing at it, the worker remarked to his colleague
Old soldier.