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554 · Jul 2015
New Beginnings.
Gaffer Jul 2015
She cut the ties
The good
The bad
The menopause
Finally, the long pause
Followed by the loneliness
Days became weeks, became months
It was time
Life begins at forty
Did it end at forty six
Swanky bar
Lights, music, fear
She felt that drowning sensation
Maybe to early
She felt eyes upon her
Smiling, teasing, no words
Her guard was up
It’s impolite to stare
Sorry, I was ******* you
Never in her life
Reality hit home, indignant
And tell me, how far did you get
All the way down to your inhibitions
Twenty three years worth she thought
The ice was broken
Tom was the first
John wouldn't be the last.
553 · Jul 2015
Vodka & Coke.
Gaffer Jul 2015
Can I buy you a drink
Feeling sorry for me cos I’m in a wheelchair
No, just my policy when I go into a new bar, I buy the first girl I see a drink, so, gin and tonic is it.
No, ***** and coke.
See, there you go, we’re arguing over drinks already, that’s nearly a relationship.
Yeah, typical man, definitely not a good start, wouldn’t you say.
Definitely, I’m Paul by the way.
Geraldine.
Dont know if I like that name, Geraldine, might have to change it.
So let me see now Paul, you get me the wrong drink, you don't like my name, but even worse, you want to change it. You might excuse me for not feeling the love here Paul.
You’re so right Geraldine, what we need is another drink to thrash out our differences, we don't want the kids to suffer.
I don’t know what it is, but I’ve got this urge to **** you, in a nice way if you know what I mean.
You know what's happened here don't you Geraldene, you’re in love.
Well I better get out of love quick, there’s my boyfriend coming in.
Can’t wait to see his face when you tell him, can I take photos.
This is Michael.
How you doing Michael, Geraldine was telling me all about you. You’re a lucky man, we were just discussing kids names.  So where did we get to Geraldine.
I was thinking Paul if it was a boy.
Better not tell you what my mother said after she picked my name.
No, tell me.
She said she could **** me everyday after choosing it.
Did she, mothers, who would have them.
552 · Mar 2016
Jesus Saves.
Gaffer Mar 2016
I’m walking to my grave everyday
A step closer to being saved
It says it on the sign
Jesus saves
Come in, take a pew
Conversions at two
Bit like the Pub
Come in, take a pew
Have a few, looking great
How do you do
Both battling for my being
The all seeing
The neon sign
Both providing spirits for the weak
Who do you seek
It’s a dilemma everyday
Yet one I play
I take a pew
Raise a few
Look up to see
Our Father and me.
541 · Mar 2016
The Mirror.
Gaffer Mar 2016
Sensual day on the life trip she searches
The walk through broken glass accentuates the rare pleasure of disappointment
She checks the mirror for past reflective glories
Empty cradle tells no lies
Search for man like the rarest fruit
Search for the perfect man, gold lined
The planets look good, aligned
Princess in search of Prince
Admirers fall by her side
But not the right admirer, yet
The enchanted waits
Planets shifting
Time is of the essence
He comes
Pleasure is all his, for a time
Life blood flows
The signs are good
Exsanguinated, ecstasy passed
The mirror screams as new life bears fruit
The planets crash
She sleeps
The empty cradle rocks
The planets lay dormant
A slight flicker
The mirror reflects
Rejuvenated, she seeks
The trip brings gifts bearing
Conquest, boasts young blood in thought
Dreamlike fading in sensual pleasure
The cradle rocks
The planets grow angry
The mirror soothes in the night
New journey begins as planets align.
532 · Feb 2016
Teddy bear.
Gaffer Feb 2016
It was never about the teddy bear
It just sits there
Well actually, It lies there
Have you ever noticed that about teddy’s
They always lie at 45 to 60 degree angles
I digress
It should be about the teddy
You go to the hospital
People see a teddy, they smile
I wasn’t smiling
No, I wasn’t smiling that day
But as teddy said
At least you don’t need a dna test
Definitely didn’t need a dna test
Just a large drink
Several large drinks
None for teddy
That would be irresponsible
Teddy still makes jokes about it
No night feeds for you
No crying
You’ve had a lucky escape
I sit him up straight
Ten minutes later
He’s on his side
That's life.
528 · Jan 2016
The ring
Gaffer Jan 2016
You bought your ex an expensive ring.

She’s having a tough time

You bought me a card.

But I love you.

Well, woopsie woopsie woo.

I’m not feeling the sympathy here.

I’m not wearing an expensive ring, unlike somebody else I won't care to mention.

I would do the same for you.

Okay, there's a jewellers down the street.

Just take a step back, look into your conscious, this is not the girl I fell in love with.

That’s because I’m not feeling the love, unlike your ex.

Will you stop going on about the ex.

I will, when you buy me a ring.

Is it all about the material things for you.

Fine. You just wait

- week later-

You bought your ex a car?!

He was going through a tough time

You bought me cookies

But I love you. And also I ran into your ex at the flea market. She sold me the ring you gave her for £12. You have good taste in jewellery.

Also I called your mother and explained the situation. She wants a chat with you today.

Why would you call my mum?

Oh you know, we're such good friends and she never hears from you so I thought I'd catch her up

What did you tell her

Well you know about the ring and the car thing was actually her idea and the ring ending up in my hands was just good fortune.

What did my ex say?

She said she thought it was pathetic and that during your relationship she was just using you for *** anyway.

What did your ex say.

Well nothing unusual. He wants me back more than ever.

Paul Gaffney& Lily Nurmi.
524 · Nov 2015
Big Boy.
Gaffer Nov 2015
Do I physically accommodate you these days
What
Would you say that I intensify your inner being
Intensy what
Do I subjugate your very person
Is this bed talk, cos you know I’m a simple fellow
Do you still have the same propensity towards my body as you used to have
Okay, think I know this word, *** in the woods, am I right
Would you say you’re sharp and sententious
If that means well endowed, defo
I don’t mind you being thick
Length and girth, womans dream
Dumb
Of course he’s dumb, too much talk
I mean you, you are dumb
What, wow, no need for insults
Last night in the bar
I was with you last night
Were you
Do believe I was sitting beside you, I’m the handsome guy
Sure you weren’t staring down the barmaids blouse all night
Actually, at times I thought you were ****** breast feeding
How much was the bill last night
What’s that got to do with it
Just asking
Don’t know, hundred, hundred and fifty
Nothing
What
She’s not the barmaid, she’s the owner, I deliver there, usually a bit extra, get it
Loud and clear
You’re an entrepreneur
That means big boy doesn’t it
It sure does, big boy, lets go.
523 · Dec 2016
Alter Ego
Gaffer Dec 2016
You only feel the pain when the blood runs true
One more lash opens your heart
Hear the beat
Thumping
I’m inside you
Cruel
But you wanted change
I’m your alter ego
Tearing down your barricade
Against the wall
You scream
It’s what you asked for
Tears and blood
Now I’m the animal
Unashamed you cry
My pleasure
Naked and bleeding
You place the whip
I release your passion
You want more
Now I’m bleeding
Walking the line
Tortured in mind
You are free
Liberated.
517 · May 2015
Shirley.
Gaffer May 2015
Shirley girl it’s been a thrill
Let me introduce you to Bill
He has a dog called Jet
He’s a solid bet
You’re dumping me after an hour
One hour
Sixty minutes of bliss
How you reminisced
Your ex Ted
Shot himself in the head
Mother Jill
Lying at the bottom of the hill
Father John
Somewhere in the Amazon
Grandad Cain
Threw himself under a train
Granny Flo
Where did she go
Not forgetting brother Fred
Lost, presumed dead
Then you mention your lesbian lover Di
Who right away I’m thinking
How did she die
Not realising, you must be Bi
Then just as I’m getting my head round that
You mention the cat
Is there a dog
What about the fog
Oh, that’s what caused the bus to disappear into the bog
You saved the lollypop man Jack
Well, that’s a blessing
What
Died next day, heart attack
Shirley doll
Don’t think of me as a bit of a moaner
But Jesus girl
You're a ****** Jonah.
515 · Sep 2015
Scorpion.
Gaffer Sep 2015
The lady in the glossy boots
What do you know
You sparkle
The mirrored floor reveals the price
What the hell, red is my favourite colour
Yours or mine, on company time
Champagne to go
Lets drink a toast
Red is my favourite colour
His blood became mine
When you shot him down
Just a name in the snow
You didn’t know
Now it’s too late
What do you say, bottle of wine
Red is my favourite colour
Do you feel naked, is it true
The Scorpion tells me it’s you
I’m in your mind, like you knew
Silk sheets sliding inside you
We pause to pursue
Red is my favourite colour
I watch as you open the door
Watch as you beckon them through
You smile, the Scorpion stings true
They died quick, not you
His blood became mine
When you shot him down
Just a name in the snow
Now you know
As the knife cuts you
Deeper and deeper
Till the blood runs through
Lets drink a toast
Before you go
Did I tell you
Red is my favourite colour.
515 · Jan 2017
2017
Gaffer Jan 2017
Now is the time for a long term relationship.
I declare my intentions online
Tazmin comes through. She’s just come out of a ten year relationship.
She could be the one.
Okay, she’s just come out of prison after ten years. Caught the boyfriend cheating on her.
Okay Tazmin, get back to you.
Right, Chantelle has split from her long time lover Rosie. She wants to try something new. But i need to get a *** change.
Don’t know if that’s lesbian humour or not.
Message from Candy. Get a life *******.
I just know she’s the one. But i’m not lowering myself to that level just yet.
Tina. ******* hate men.
You don’t know me Tina.
You’re a man, that’s enough.
Any sensible women out there.
Madge, I’m 84 looking for a relationship. My last lover died on the job.
Madge. For fucksakes take up knitting.
Listen up you lot, it’s not my problem  you can’t keep your men, or women.
Okay maybe shouldn’t have said that.
You *******. Followed by, I’ll stick they knitting needles where the sun don’t shine. I’ll do another ten years for you.  Oh, and. ****** tossing *******.
What the hell happened to the gentle ***.
This was not how I expected things to turn out.
Let's get back to basics
Any of you lot want to go out tonight and get ******, have unprotected ***. I’m paying.
Computer’s going nuts now.
I’m in.  You’re the man. Why didn’t you just say that the first time.
*******, can I bring a friend.
Happy birthday Paul.
515 · Sep 2018
The Woman.
Gaffer Sep 2018
She was never young, that was her problem
Always direct
Pregnant
That wasn’t a problem
Why bother informing
You should know
What should I know
Ambition comes before brat
Dead before life started
So strange
He started taking life
Years of taking life
Years of hate
Years of nothing
Unexpected encounter
Ambition achieved
Both hardened
She can’t have children now
Not now
It was like they both killed
Killed everything worth living
Both pragmatic as they said goodbye
To life maybe chosen
Every book ends
Not always to  sequel
She lived her work
He just lived
Life twisting as life does.
Until the book is finally closed.
510 · Jun 2016
Mind Games.
Gaffer Jun 2016
She liked the sound of music
Soft and sultry
Sometimes dark
But mostly in mind

She liked turning him on
Watching him smile
******* her slowly
But mostly in mind

She liked the sound of music
Soft and sultry
Sometimes dark
But mostly in mind

She liked the way he teased her
Moving slowly to her love zone
Tantalising her soul
But only in mind

She liked the sound of music
Soft and sultry
Sometimes dark
But mostly in mind

She liked the build up
The tension
The screaming, the release of pleasure
But only in mind.
510 · Jan 2016
Brad And Sally.
Gaffer Jan 2016
My god, red bra, orange pants, and green socks, I’m making love to a traffic light.

Get on with it.

I can’t, where do I start.

What does it matter.

It matters a lot, if I start with your bra, do I stop, or do I drive on knowing three penalty points and an eighty pound fine are coming my way. Do I start with your pants, amber gambling, if I start with your socks, then that’s it, I’m away.

Well. what do you expect me to do.

I expect you to dress appropriately for the occasion, I mean, Gok Wan couldn’t fix you.

Well, if we’re in an insulting mood, I don’t like the tiger pants you wear, especially as tiger’s are nearly extinct.

Oh god, did you really say that, I’m going out with a *****, 0.5 wit.

What does that mean.

It means you’re a half wit.

Well, I was going to get naked, and put my duffle coat on to get you excited, but not now.

Just what every guy wants, a naked girl in a duffle coat.

Some guys would die to see me naked in a duffle coat.

Do you know, you’re right, I've now got this fantasy in my head, put on an orange hat, and wow, pelican crossing.

Get knotted, and I tell you now, that’s the only action you’ll get tonight

Well, in that case I’ll just have to create a fantasy

On he went with it, hallucinating vividly while she stood there, unarmed and furious.

Hell she was already *****, maybe she could save the situation. She looked down at her pants.

You know, you could still drive, if you have already crossed the line.

His eyes opened quickly, as if trying to catch her lying. He considered it...

Lose the bra and the socks

Lose the tiger get up

Both coming halfway, they now stood in the living room, one more naked than the other. Still a little insulted she went on to caress his member.

He, too stubborn to show his pleasure, gazed at the ceiling, feigning boredom.

Furious she slapped him across his face with a high pitched shriek, picked up her things and walked towards the door, getting dressed on the go.

Realizing he had gone too far and that he was now all up and running, he tried to bring her to other ideas...

BAM went the door.

She'll call.

Paul Gaffney & Lily Nurmi.
503 · May 2016
Tragedy.
Gaffer May 2016
It’s a tragedy
Both parents
Road accident
Still, life goes on
That’s the real tragedy
She left him
His first love
For a gay guy
That was a  tragedy
He still had his sense of humour though
You needed a sense of humour when a gay guy steals your woman
She wanted you back
It wasn’t working out with the gay guy
Mainly because he left you for a gay guy
Tragic
The world was his oyster
The mud suited
Camouflaged the loss
Hid the tragedy
Kept his sense of humour though
Met her years later
She remembered his sense of humour
What a tragedy
She was dying of cancer
Still, life goes on.
502 · Jan 2016
My Sister.
Gaffer Jan 2016
In the dark of night

I snuck out of bed

The monster picked a fight

So quickly I fled



Stood by my sister, poked her a bit

A sleepy frown above her eyes

She told me to sit

I was scared and she was wise



She pulled the cover over me

And told me to sleep

She was a big girl, older than me

She held me close, I needn't weep



I dreamed of fields with flowers

And strange round trees

Mountains with towers

And puddles with bees






She stood beside me

Like a  light beam

Watching over me

Setting me free


I was brave for a time

Brave as brave could be

Searching for the monster

Hiding up the tree



The monster saw me

I screamed, he’s got me

Oh no he’s not

We both jumped under the covers

My sister and me.

                                   Lily Nurmi & Paul Gaffney.
502 · Aug 2016
Special One.
Gaffer Aug 2016
The first mile is tough
The last mile is the toughest
I liked the way she played with her hair
Liked her smile
She had a calming effect on me
The in between was just numb minding
Just distance for the sake of distance
Some never made it, some did
She hated cruelty
One of god's creatures
Too good for me
Just to good
The body wants to give up
That little voice agrees
Just dumb for the sake of dumb
I was a dumb one
Everybody loved her
She was one of the special ones
They always take the special ones
Sometimes when the pain gets too much
I’ll run the hill
Just to see her play with her hair
It’s worth the pain
501 · Dec 2015
Man At peace.
Gaffer Dec 2015
The Christmas tree shone brightening up the room
Decorations hung in splendour
Gifts lay beneath the tree
He was sat in his favourite armchair
A man at peace with the world
He would watch the children run down the stairs
The room would come alive as they opened their presents
A special present for the good lady
The noise drifted into the past
A long time ago
Seemed like yesterday
The accident
The Policewoman crying telling him the news
The day he died inside
Seventeen years now
Always the same ritual
Made the day seem right, special
Memories came flooding back
He sat down to rest
Slowly drifting off to sleep
They found him that way
In his favourite armchair
A man at peace with the world.
501 · Apr 2015
Paranoia.
Gaffer Apr 2015
There’s a woman on the phone who says she’s pregnant, explanation.
Well, in simple terms, the man has to impregnate the woman, this may take several occasions, but you get the gist.
Oh I get the gist alright, so how many occasions did it take.
Well, it's hardly the thing you talk about when you’re planning a baby.
What, how long has this been going on.
How would I know, might be one night, might be long term, why don't you ask her.
I’m not asking your floozie things like that, you should know.
Typical woman, just because a pregnant woman is on the phone, you naturally assume the worse.
I have reason to assume the worse, the neighbours bed you assembled.
Don’t remind me of that, Chinese instructions, it was a nightmare.
I was more thinking of how I caught you in bed with her.
You didn’t catch us in the physical sense, we were testing the bed.
And you had to be naked to do that.
She’s Scandinavian, that’s what they do.
You were under the covers.
She was covering her modesty, the embarrassment you caused that day.
Yeah, I’m gutted.
You really  have to do something about this paranoia.
Are you saying I’m nuts.
Well, the facts do speak for themselves.
You’re so right, it’s a strange thing paranoia, sometimes I think young James isn’t yours.
Just as well he’s the spitting image of me then.
Yes, that’s the strange thing, he’s the spitting image of your brother too.
What, what are you saying, have you been bedding my brother.
Not in the physical sense I think
Well in that case young James is definitely mine then.
Don’t know, the ****** your brother used, the instructions were in Chinese.

                                         By Paul Gaffney & Lily Nurmi.
                                                  Dubious ending by Lily Nurmi.
499 · Sep 2015
Dirty War.
Gaffer Sep 2015
It was never about the goodwill, the charm
Not remotely
Just the lies
But not any old lies
No, lies that made a difference
Dropped into conversation, subtlely
Then became consequences
Affecting lives
Watching as the poison took effect
Gratifying from a distance
Better than a shot to the head
Moving on to the next one
Words at the end of the phone
More words, just a hint
Heresay
Death on a dark night
Senseless, yet so brutal
No affiliations, why
Small wars breakout
New faces, click
Names to faces
Phone call in the night
Chaos ensues
Car stops as shadowy figure enters from the dark
Drives off
Dossier complete.
499 · Oct 2016
The Room.
Gaffer Oct 2016
The room was in darkness
Save for the solitary shard of light
Shining directly onto that point on the wall
The blood had dried in long back
If the room could speak
There would be screams
The chains still hung on the wall
Frozen in time
A timely reminder
To the events of that day
She touched them
Just to understand
Why
She expected the feel of cold metal
Instead, a strange heat surged through her body
Compelling her into the chains
Tightly binding her against the wall
Trapped, she waited
He was watching her
Listening as her heart pounded in fear
Just the beginning
She thought she was screaming
As the blood entered her mouth, slowly
Forcing her eyes to scream
Her mind now drowning in panic
As life began to fade
He watched her, fascinated as she entered the next phase
The journey into the afterlife
Just like the others
The room was in darkness
Save for the solitary shard of light
Shining directly onto that point on the wall.
498 · Jun 2015
Crimson Blue.
Gaffer Jun 2015
It started on crimson blue
The ocean touching you
Your body free from soul
Inviting colours no
You see his eyes undress, caress
You shy away, tempted
Casual look
He’s watching, like he knows
Colours no
The waves crash
unselfish
pulses flow
Explosion in colour grows
The woman in you, glances
Free from soul
He’s watching, like he knows
Whispering to you
The secret of crimson blue.
495 · May 2015
The Children Of Time.
Gaffer May 2015
The road never changes
Only the seasons
The ghosts pass by
****** at twenty three
Adultery at twenty one
Produced a son
The madness at thirty nine
Twin sisters
The children of time
Twenty four, they would scream
The hanging *****
The road knew more
Number one seen all
Predicted the fall
The great and the good
Misunderstood
The road was the end
The very end
She screamed at number five
Number four knew why
It was her time to die
The children played
At the gates of time
They would sing their songs
Like the nursery rhymes
Twenty three and twenty one produced a son
Cried the sisters of time
They knocked down her door
Killed the *****
Killed the *****
She saw the crime
Just in time, to scream
Why, oh why
She had to die
She had to die
The road knows why
The seasons pass by
The seasons pass by
494 · Dec 2015
The Sea.
Gaffer Dec 2015
The waves pushed the body gently to the shore
So lifelike you expected words
But only the sea speaks for the dead
The story lasts for days, weeks, months
Some last forever
All lost souls walk on water for a time
A time to remember and say goodbye
The sea doesn’t portion blame
Asking no questions
Just becoming the guardian for a time
Before releasing the body to pastures new.
493 · Oct 2015
The Potion.
Gaffer Oct 2015
She changed her name
Moved to a place by the sea
Where solitude had many friends
But only city girls know how to fly

He woke up one morning
To find her gone
He was grateful
Time was on his side

She felt safe for a time
Months began to pass
Time became the enemy
The city was calling her home

He was watching her
So pure
Just waiting for his touch
His gentle touch

She was watching him
Keeping it in
A shiver ran down her spine
Her mind ahead

He charmed like time was yesterday
Mesmerizing as the potion worked its way
Inviting her to a sensual sleep
Chained to keep

She looked deep into his eyes
He was searching for the answer as he passed into oblivion
She whispered
Only city girls know how to fly.
489 · Feb 2018
Regret.
Gaffer Feb 2018
If I could take you out the grave
Put you back in the car
Slow down
Reverse back
Not have that argument
I would.
487 · Jun 2016
The Bottle.
Gaffer Jun 2016
Right I want you to put all your negative thoughts into a bottle.
What sort of bottle.
Doesn’t matter what sort.
***** bottle do.
Jesus, yes.
Okay I’ve ran out of room.
You’re so predictable.
Just like you last night, standards are dropping.
That’s because I knew you were coming for a session today.
Think how I feel, all my thoughts in a bottle of *****.
Maybe I should hypnotise you.
How do I know you won’t interfere with me, you read about these things.
Take my word for it, I’m going to send you to sleep, then I’m going to join you.
How does that help me if we’re both asleep, you got a bit of telepathy going on here.
Yes, I’m going to put you into a trance, see if we can find you another guy.
What sort of guy are we talking about, I mean, I’ve already hit rock bottom with you.
Well in that case, we should be able to fix you up quite quickly.
I don’t know, what if he doesn’t understand my quirky sense of humour.
He’ll dump you then.
What, can he do that, just discard me, and me a broken woman already.
Afraid so, but then you can find another guy, and another.
My God, I’ll be the talk of the town, my bottle will be overflowing.
Just relax, breathe in, breathe out, stop doing that.
Doing what.
You’re thrusting your chest out, do you know what sort of guy that’ll attract.
Someone like you.
You don’t want to attract someone like me, you want someone dynamic, someone who’ll take you away from all this.
Have you got someone in mind.
Yes, I was talking to this nice chap in the Asylum yesterday.
Why is he in the Asylum.
He killed a snail.
My God, they put you in the Asylum for that.
No, he’s in for using a flamethrower.
What’s the snail got to do with it.
That was the trigger point.
So what happens if I upset him and it triggers something and he goes mad.
It won’t, I told him to put all his negative thoughts into your bottle.
487 · Sep 2015
Lost Without A Soul.
Gaffer Sep 2015
Couldn’t find the track
Lost wandering in the night
Couldn’t see the signs
Nearly lost the fight

Kick you when you’re down
Throw you in the dirt
Mock you when you’re up
Stone you till it hurts

Running through the jungle
Living in the hell
When it’s time to ****
Disregard the smell

Now the path is clear
Sunlight clouds your eyes
Purpose follows reason
Death becomes disguise

Fear the only courage
Pain the mental spur
Drives you to insanity
Sight begins to blur

Close the door forever
Pushed into the hole
A ghost for all eternity
Lost without a soul.
485 · May 2015
The Outcast.
Gaffer May 2015
The guy with the flowers and the milk tray
So sorry, she’s having an affair
With me
I’m your friend too
Strange the things we do
Just sort of happened
You would understand if it wasn’t you
We should end it, walk away
Start another day
We wont
Not till all the cards are played
We know the end
The hurt, the betrayal
The words they say
You, they hate the most
Now the ghost
Doors are closed
Family walk away
Strange, the marriage stronger than ever now
I did that
Self congratulations as I walk away
Yet I don't see the gratitude coming my way.
484 · Mar 2015
The Desire.
Gaffer Mar 2015
A soft moan left her lips
As she lay there, completely defenceless
His soft touch slowly caressing her
Letting the pressure build up
Relief only through
A scream pushed out of her lungs
A violent quivering
Between her thighs
And her arching back
Her vision getting blurry
Eyes in and out of focus
He watches her calmly
Giving her a moment to cool off
He Places a soft kiss on her dry, cool lips
Moving slowly down
Teasing, blowing softly on her taut body
She responds
The spark ignites within her again
As she gets up to push him down
With fire in her eyes
Passion streaming from her fingertips
Uncontrollable desire
Expressed in each move she makes
Unashamedly taking her pleasure
Finally losing control screaming
Passion and tears
She looked down at him
Their eyes met
She bit her lip
And smiled playfully
480 · Jun 2016
The Sleepy Hollow.
Gaffer Jun 2016
The day innocence disappeared
As life was created down by the sleepy hollow
The days of great sayings
Children bringing up children
We did okay for a time
Sadly maturity does what it always does
Brings new horizons
Sets new goals
We were okay about it
Others weren’t
Maybe they couldn’t see beyond the hill
Time moved on, and the bond was broken
Years later, you found your soulmate
A second child was born
I found out later, a girl
I was leading my life
So in a way, it wasn’t my business
Just made it more final  in a way
I agreed you should take full custody
It was the right thing to do
Upset some
But it was always me and you
I passed by the sleepy hollow
Maybe just to understand
It was wild and overgrowing
Pushing further to the road
Someday it would reach beyond the hill
Never looking back
I would be waiting.
479 · Jan 2016
The Resolution.
Gaffer Jan 2016
Another year, another resolution
Dry out January
That was a tough day
Change of job, new challenge
The scalpel cut deeply through the chest cavity
Maybe the year to find love, maybe
So many choices, so many
The scalpel cut deep, too late
The patient was lost
A long break
Different country, new start
The drink would help the choice
So steady as the bottle emptied
The scalpel cut deep, advanced signs of liver cirrhosis
The surgeon assisting was in awe at the dexterity of the liver being removed
The signs were staring back at him
The warning stark
He pondered it over a bottle of chivas
The operation would last ten hours
The hospital was lucky to have such a prestigious surgeon
The scalpel cut deep
Four hours in, the sweating and trembling began
The vessels were clamped off
The bathroom break soothed as the whisky hit home
The operation continued
The  drink breaks also
Finally finished he excused himself and left
The trip home left him physically shaking
The whisky hit home
Calm now, he went through the operation in his head
The patient was responding, the team were pleased
Something was gnawing away at him
He just couldn’t pinpoint what it was
The whisky had done its job
He was calm
It had been a long day
The pager sounding brought him round
The nagging doubt as he phoned the hospital
The patient wasn’t responding
The patient, the patient, always the patient
The clamps, he couldn’t remember
Did he remove them
He started to shake
The whisky calmed him
The pager sounded
The bottle stared back at him
Time for a change
A new challenge
A long break
The decision was made
He would drink to that.
477 · Jan 2017
America In Waiting.
Gaffer Jan 2017
The wounded animal is at its most dangerous when approached.
This animal has been festering for a lot of years now.
An open wound covered by the ****** bandage of past glories.
Waiting to rise.
Seeking direction.
The inspiring leader.
When the world seeks guidance, and the house is dark.
Dangerous times lay ahead.
475 · Jan 2016
Someday.
Gaffer Jan 2016
The dawn is breaking
Raindrops slowly trickle down the window
Winding in a circular motion
Finally falling to the ground
She listens to him breathing
The signs of *** lingering inbetween the wine and the ****
She looks around
Pictures hanging in rows
Someone else's memories
She tries to remember
There was a time
A long time ago
Faint picture of a girl
Innocent
Gone now
Why the hell does she torture herself
The girl has gone
Long gone
Turned to stone
Time for her to go too
Someday she would show them
Ram it down their throats
Someday she would walk through that door
Stare them in the face
She would tell them straight
I made it
The rain cleansed for a time
She felt pure
Someday
She would show them
Someday.
474 · Jan 2016
Fate.
Gaffer Jan 2016
I watch you across the crowded bar
Woman of beauty
Tantalising in every mans dream
I seek the words of wisdom
Then pause
Tomorrow I’ll walk away
Waste what should have been
A lifetime of hope and wonderment
To a life of freedom

I watch you across the crowded bar
Woman of beauty
You sense my pain
Like it was your own
In a way it is
Your beauty attracts
But they want to covet your entire being
They don’t see the strength within
They don’t see you

I watch you across the crowded bar
Woman of beauty
Fate sadly throws us together
Magnets for a time
Till that moment
When fear throws us apart
Destined to walk the passage of people
Clinging for only hope
In the abandonment of love.
473 · Apr 2018
Somewhere
Gaffer Apr 2018
In the midst lies the answer
In the distance, it lays in wait
To be brought out in its uttermost feelings
The anxiety is sometimes frightening
The distress terrifying
The effect suppresses the wait
The waiting prolongs
Past memories unshed themselves
A sudden chill unfolds finding no mercy
The mind finds everlasting peace
Leaving the soul to eternal emptiness.
468 · Apr 2015
Rover.
Gaffer Apr 2015
The funeral was well attended
Nobody came
It was sad in a way
Clashed with the dog passing away
There was a friend with a leg
When I say a leg
I actually mean two
Though he had the flu
The Priest nearly made it
But he passed too
The butcher discussed it with the baker
In the newsagents where the notice was placed
Was it his wife who put it in
Well yes, to begin
Then a black guy called Fred
Placed another, hopefully dead
Followed by Titch
Who looked quite rich
But was really his *****
Not to detract from Simon
Frowned the butcher, calling him pieman
Though, that was simplistic
The florist  cried foul
She had the contract
But just for a while
It was left to the undertaker
Wade
Who had to subcontract
When thieves stole his *****
Joe from the pub
With the maths degree
Discussed the angles
Buried under a tree
Bernadette, at the bookmakers
Had to agree
Rushing off to mass
Father Joe listened with glee
It was a trying day in the village of Dull
The pub was in mourning
There was a definite lull
But one thing was agreed
As they slowly got ******
Rover the dog
Would surely be missed?
466 · Apr 2015
The Little Yellow Pill
Gaffer Apr 2015
A little bit of hash aint no trash
Mother needs that little yellow pill to keep her still
L. S.D it just doesn't agree
Father works so hard, I find it sad
Purple heart, not a bad start
Sister’s going to complain, boyfriend didn’t turn up again
Tonight it must be speed, such greed
Mothers going to bed, she’s going to rest her head
I’ll try *******, it sends me insane
Fathers going to say, well son, how was it today
I’ll smoke some grass, let life pass
My sisters has to say, you don’t look to well these days
Well, it looks like it must be Babs
Especially now I'm sad
Mother’s dying, Father’s crying, Sister’s ill
I think it must be the little yellow pill.
465 · Apr 2016
The Journey.
Gaffer Apr 2016
He always brought the subject up at the most inappropriate of times, usually when some **** was trying to **** us.
Are you a believer now.
If I get out of this, I’ll think about it. We got out of it.
God was looking after us.
I would like to think my rifle was looking after me, but if you think it was your god bolt, or Jesus sticker, I’m happy for you.
Why do you never use the word christian.
Probably cos I’m a non believer.
You don’t believe god saved you today.
No, I believe I saved me today.
Let me read you this passage from the bible.
I’m already reading my own bible, it’s called *******.
You do know that is demeaning to women.
I don’t know, did jesus not hang out with a prosey.
Jesus saved Mary, there is a difference.
Oh, touched a nerve there goddy boy.
I will pray for you.
Why do you people do that, why do you love sinners.
So we can show you the error of your ways.
Do you know what I think, I think you all get together at the weekends, you do all this god stuff, but it’s not really enough, cos you all agree with each other. so when I come along, and you convert me, it’s collective creaming. Am I right, or am I right.
Something tells me I will never convert you, but I’ll keep trying.
Why do you do all this bible bashing, I mean, you’re a great soldier, a thinker. that’s a rare breed in our game.
I want you to do something for me.
Is there a god involved.
Indirectly there is.
I’m intrigued, shoot.
If I die out here, I want you to go into my church and say goodbye to me.
How does that work, I don’t have to pray or anything do I.
No, you can run in if you want, say goodbye, and run out.
Okay it’s a deal, but I want you to do something for me if I die.
Okay then, what is it.
Right, I want you to go to the brothel. Now this is very important, I’m onto the Chinese race now, so you must do your best for me.
You know I can’t do that for you.
Just testing you. Okay I want you to go into the brothel, give the money over to the lady, explain how great I would have been if I was there in person. But under no circumstances try to convert her, none of that self gratification stuff.
Okay, it’s a deal.

Tell you what goddy boy, we could do with some divine intervention here, give your boss a shout. a small earthquake should do the trick.
So you’re a believer now.
If he kills all the baddies, I’ll convert yesterday.
See what I can do.
You’ve failed, let's get to **** outta here, c’mon, now’s not the time to pray. C’mon Michael, Michael.

The town was a *******. Not surprised you got out mate, I’ve only been here five minutes, and I want to top myself. The church had seen better days, half a roof, half of everything by the look of it. He loitered outside, trying to figure it all out. The walk in was a slow one. So strange, he felt like a child again, awkward to the point the words wouldn’t come out.
The priest saved him.
You look lost my son, can I help.
Yeah, I’ve come to say goodbye to a friend, Michael Sommers.
Ah_Michael will be sadly missed, he was helping to rebuild the church. As you can see, we’re slowly but surely getting there. In a strange way, Michael's death has really helped, he left everything to the church.
How much more do you need to finish the job.
Ten thousand pounds, then the restoration can begin.
Your lucky day father, Michael left me money to give to you, ten thousand pounds to be exact.
This is truly  a momentous day, you don’t know how much this will mean to the community. The spirit will return now.


You ******* Michael, I should have ran in, and ran out. There goes my month of high class immorality, I can just about afford a pint in your local pub now. Christ, I should have given the money to the pub, what a dump. The only saving grace was the girl serving behind the bar. Gives a pint of what you serve here.
We serve beer, the same as every other pub in the world.
Okay, gives a pint of your worldly beer.
Did you fall out the wrong side of the bed this morning.
I’ve had a bit of a shock.
You don’t look the sort of person who shocks easily.
I was in your local church.
Funny, you don’t look like the sort of person who frequents churches.
I’m not, I was saying goodbye to a friend.
Anybody I know.
Michael Sommers, I don’t suppose he came in here.
You mean, Micky Sommers.
I’m getting a sort of vibe here, did you know him.
Everybody knew Micky.
Tell me he tried to convert you to god.
No, that’s not the Micky we knew.
Okay, I’m getting that vibe again, fill me in.
Well, I suppose you could say, Micky was a nutcase.
What, no, we must be talking about a different guy.
I’m Micky’s ex, take my word for it, I watched him nearly **** three guys who got a bit out of order.
In what way.
They made remarks to me.
This is brilliant, glad I came in now.
You're like him, aren't you.
Listen, can I take you for a meal or something, tell you about the Michael I knew.
Well, there is only one restaurant in this town, it’s Chinese.
Fantastic, I’m sort into Chinese at the moment, eight o’clock okay for you.
Eight is fine.
Okay, see you then.

She was to good for you Michael. Christ a girl like that is to good for any guy. I’m going to lie like hell to her, tell her you changed cause you loved her. Christ, I would change for a girl like that. You look after me Michael in your new position now. Did I tell you I’m moving onto the Japanese race now..
465 · May 2015
The Man On The Bridge.
Gaffer May 2015
The man on the bridge is in between life and death.
Such a fine line.
Where did the hope end.
Did it begin.

The man on the bridge is in between life and death.
Is it too late.
Would words change your fate
Would you wait

The man on the bridge is in between life and death
The moment has come
Seconds to die
Just tell me why

The man on the bridge is in between life and death
You don’t want to know
Is it worth your life
I think so

The man on the bridge is in between life and death
He has made up his mind
Thank you for being so kind
The man on the bridge.
464 · May 2015
Baby Blues.
Gaffer May 2015
The doorbell chimed
She answered
It’s a pregnant woman
She never read the no cold callers sign then, he thought
Are you going to see what she wants
Footballs on, a man should never be disturbed when the footballs on
Was it eight months ago
Just a bit of fun
Why the hell dont women take precautions
This was not going to be pleasant
Hi John, you’re probably wondering who I am
You spoke to my husband about a month ago
He says you’re great at assembling flat packed furniture
As you can see, I’m getting to the critical stage
Yeah, right, I remember
Listen, dont you worry, I’ll pop round tomorrow
Have that nursery built in no time
Thanks John, that will be great
By the way, if it’s a boy
John was one of the names we were thinking about.
461 · Mar 2016
Life.
Gaffer Mar 2016
You gave me life
Congratulations
Sorry I was a burden
Nine months of misery
Felt it myself
Still, must give you credit
You didn’t **** me
Couldn’t even **** yourself
School was a blast
I was that kid
Borstal opened my eyes
Found like minded nutters like me
That was an education
Still, I did graduate
Straight to man prison
One day they let me out to visit you
To say goodbye
Your gravestone, below your name
It said, sadly missed
How ironic
Two sarcastic people in the world
One day I stopped being bitter
I started laughing
What the hell
Life to lead
Go lead it
Plus, the sign on the wall
Always somebody worse off than you.
461 · Jul 2015
One Too Many.
Gaffer Jul 2015
The sun didn't shine for young Bob
Didn’t shine at all
Mummy drank all the gin
She’s screaming at the wall
Heading for a fall
He knew when to run
Learned when he was young
Bruises only show on the living
Not on the kid for fun
Mummy wasn’t bad
Just sad
Daddy left a time ago
A younger girl
No ties
Now she wants to die
If only she hadn’t had me
Can’t you see
He would have stayed
That's what mummy says
It felt good after awhile
All the pills, all the gin
He thought he heard mummy say I love you
That was nice
Daddy would come home now
They could start again
The sun would shine
Just not for Bob.
458 · Aug 2016
Inspiration.
Gaffer Aug 2016
It was the less i could do
Climb the mountain
Scale the kitchen
Talk to the neighbours
Find a neighbour
Inspiration, need it
Words on the refuse truck
Toss it in
Screaming kids
Screaming mothers
*******
What, oh *******
Talking art
Modern stuff
Bed with a ****** in it
Jonny
Go home
Bus it
Converse in a foreign language
Can’t understand them
I live here
Inspired to shout
Who am i
This week
A sign on the wall
Jesus saves
Bankers own heaven
Hell
Drowning in realization
Happiness can be bought
What price
Yesterdays
Snow on the hills
Dutchman panics
Refuse collector has a Phd in
Wednesdays
Bus stoppers look in awe
Three together
Another day dead
Dear diary
Inspiration
Boots in bin.
456 · May 2016
Bob It.
Gaffer May 2016
It wasn’t the ***
That wasn’t important
Well it was
It was him
I gave him my time
He gave me five minutes
Christ, he came quicker than the 9.05 express
Actually, the 9.05 has been cancelled due to a ****** malfunction
He said he got excited
He’s forty two
It’s a breast thing he said
What, the two of them
Well, actually it’s you being naked
Should I keep my clothes on
Could we do it in the dark he said
Yes, just ****** do it
I was excitingly waiting
Nothing
Maybe he’s a Ninja lover
I heard him chewing
What the hell are you doing
I’m coming
For christsakes, not again
No, I’m ready for you
Well get on with it
I’ll just close the door
He screamed
Something told me satisfaction was 999 away
The paramedics put it in ice
The police took down my particulars
God, how i wished they would take down my particulars
He blamed me, could you believe it
Other patients were calling him, Bob it.
I told him straight, the ****** door got more action than me
Is that all you can think about, ****** ***
I started laughing, he didn’t get it
Just like me
456 · Nov 2015
Great Personality.
Gaffer Nov 2015
She was naked except for a frown
I knew that face
I sat her down
Tell me honey, what’s on your mind
Are you making a statement
Am I a clown
Was it something I said
Maybe didn’t do
Give me a clue
Is it your birthday
No, anniversary, did your mum die
Let me down gently, don’t lie
Well I must admit
You’ve really stumped me now
Speak up woman
Get it out
I’m not a ****** psychic
You’re driving me nuts
No more buts
Spit it out woman

I’m not your wife
Your trouble and strife
This is not your house
You idiotic louse
Now get to hell out
And let me leave you in no doubt
If I was your wife
I would shoot you dead
Cut off your head
Dance around your grave
Shoot you again
Just so I could save
The very best for last
The final blast
Now do one.

Well, glad you set me straight
Bit melodramatic
Couldn’t you just scream
Wake me from my dream
When I said spit it out
Didn’t expect a ****** rout
A hissy fit
Raving woman, foaming from the mouth
Words heading south
Anyway, whilst I’m here
Seems a shame
Don’t suppose you fancy
That’ll be a no
Okay, suppose I better go
Although I do think you’re a real hit
Oh, and great 'personality.'
453 · Jun 2016
The Morning People.
Gaffer Jun 2016
The stars look down
And the night becomes day
Morning people stir the day alive
And life begins its ponderous journey
Sally gives me a wink goodbye
She knows I’ll be back tonight to lose the winnings
But this time you’ll be wrong Sally girl
Though you’ve probably heard that a million times
But I’ll not be back
That’s the discipline
To simply walk away
Never look back
The morning breeze awakens the tired senses
The walk home begins a new journey
She’s walking towards me
One of the morning people
Probably walked this road a thousand times
I stop in front her
She looks bemusingly alarmed
I look like the jilted groom
I hand her a hundred pound note, and walk off
She’ll walk a bit faster now, convinced I’m nuts, and it’s a forgery
Later on, she’ll show it to her friends
They’ll tell her that’s what gamblers do
They think it’ll bring them more luck
Not with me
Winning or losing, it didn’t matter
For years the night was my friend
My savior
Then it became my nightmare
Something else to conquer
Time gets you through all
Tomorrow a new challenge begins
I become one of the morning people
It’s been a long time
Hope they’re ready for me.
449 · Apr 2015
Nelson.
Gaffer Apr 2015
Do you think we’re emotionally compatible.
What crackpot class have you joined now.
I'm taking a holistic course.
Why don’t you go and have an affair, you’ll feel better.
No, listen, I want inside your mind.
You don’t, take my word for it.
Soon I’ll be able to heal your body and mind.
Have you ever thought about counselling.
I'm just searching for myself.
Just wish you’d hurry up.
Why don’t you come with me, I've already mentioned you to the teacher.
Oh no you don't, history teacher, history class, coming back to you.
That’s why I need to get into your mind.
Have you ever thought that maybe I'm the sanest person on the planet.
Yes I used to until that time we got lost and you refused to ask for directions.
I didn't need directions
Were you afraid the guy would laugh at you
No that had nothing to do with it
Because you can't read a map
No silly, he said his name was Nelson
Did that upset you, was that it
Did you learn nothing in that history class
Well, not map reading
He only had one eye
Who only had one eye
Admiral Nelson
And that upset you
Jesus woman, nobody upset me, he couldn’t give me directions cos he only had one eye
How does that stop him from giving directions
What, isn't it obvious
Not to me
He can’t reverse a car can he
What’s stopping him
The blind spot stupid
Oh my god, and I wanted inside your mind, you’re a hundred percent crackers
Well you sure as hell don’t want to go out with a guy who’s crackers
You’re **** right I don’t, consider yourself history
Thank god for that, hate long term relationships, three weeks, how did I cope.
447 · Aug 2015
The Last Goodbye.
Gaffer Aug 2015
He would beat her up for the last time
It wouldn’t be hard to provoke him
The usual wrong word did it most days

Why do you make me do this
What is wrong with you
Forgive me

She would enjoy this one
The very last one

Bought you flowers
You know I love you

Do you

What the hell does that mean
What the hell

The drug would temporarily paralyse him
Enough time for her needs
He punched with his right fist
She cut off his arm
The odd kick with his right
She cut off his leg
He came round screaming
How you doing babe
You in pain
Don’t worry, it’ll pass

Ambulance, get me an ambulance

Say the word

Please, please

No, not that word
The other word, I love you, that one

I love you, ambulance, please please

Babe, why did you make me do this, forgive me
Just going to take the tourniquets  off
I’ll put them up here
If you get them, be quick
Remember to release them every fifteen minutes
Oh, one more thing
Love you babe.
446 · Jan 2017
In the waiting room.
Gaffer Jan 2017
The woman’s talking gallstones
He’s going on about his eyes
That one’s under the doctor
What does that mean
She doesn’t understand the younger generation
The price of fish
She’s come in with her leg
That caught my attention
Does she have three
He came in with his leg last week, now its his arm
Her daughters pregnant with triplets
For some reason i imagined them doing it three times that night
Hospital food is still awful
Maybe it’s the price of fish
You don’t want admitted on a Monday
Note to body, heart attack Tuesday onwards
You don’t want that Dr Campbell
I had him last week
Doctor Baker is nice
My goldfish died
That happened to my dog
Wonder if it ate the goldfish
My doctor's experimenting on me
Sure the medical board don’t allow that
Okay, all hell's broke loose
Dr Campbell has taken a heart attack
On a Monday as well
Poor Dr Campbell, he was so nice
Well that’s the kettle calling the *** black
What’s wrong with you son
Well i thought i was going nuts
But I’ve now made a remarkable recovery.
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