It wasn’t the ***
That wasn’t important
Well it was
It was him
I gave him my time
He gave me five minutes
Christ, he came quicker than the 9.05 express
Actually, the 9.05 has been cancelled due to a ****** malfunction
He said he got excited
He’s forty two
It’s a breast thing he said
What, the two of them
Well, actually it’s you being naked
Should I keep my clothes on
Could we do it in the dark he said
Yes, just ****** do it
I was excitingly waiting
Nothing
Maybe he’s a Ninja lover
I heard him chewing
What the hell are you doing
I’m coming
For christsakes, not again
No, I’m ready for you
Well get on with it
I’ll just close the door
He screamed
Something told me satisfaction was 999 away
The paramedics put it in ice
The police took down my particulars
God, how i wished they would take down my particulars
He blamed me, could you believe it
Other patients were calling him, Bob it.
I told him straight, the ****** door got more action than me
Is that all you can think about, ****** ***
I started laughing, he didn’t get it
Just like me

How it really feels?
How it feels to be spiritual?
Suppose it feels
Less like a prison
That we would call the body
Suppose I feel
That my energy is limitless

Suppose it feels
Like being everywhere at the same time.
But there's no chaos.
And sometimes when I close my eyes
I see all these people
From all over the world
I watch their lives
And smile without
A hint of judgement
Just love.

That's what being a servant is about; they need that judgementless smile

What a Message sounds like?
I suppose it feels
Like someone is
Gently blowing in my hair
At times I feel God
There's golden light
Within my body
That I've come to see as
More like a permeable membrane.

And sometimes
I feel various energies
Close to my body
"Are you coming? Can you please help me?"
Without hesitation
The strength of my essence
Replies by extending
A part of me
To the conflict
That needs attention.
My mind rarely watches it
But I know I'm serving
On some level.

It wasn't weird
Hanging out
Just wanted to see the cats
The furr babies
The Handsome Fluffybutts
But as I arrived
To the house
That was my home
For 5 years
I just got comfortable as ****.

I opened all the doors
Meditated on the couch
Waited for you to come home
And let you make me coffee
While chatting as always.
And **** was I ever impressed
You finally opened up
You told me your worries
Your finances
-Kudos for paying your debts-
Your fears and all the gossip
Your training schedule
And what your friends said.

I did what I always do;
Told you everything.
About almost everything.
Including the fact
That now that you're
All pumped up
And training like crazy
That you need new clothes.
That shirt's starting
To look funny on you.
You should get rid of it.
Meanwhile I'll go
Through your closets
As though they are still mine.

Hi how you doing
I’m doing fine, how about you
I’m okay, well I’m not really
Go on tell me about it, that’s what us ex’s are for.
It’s Joe.
Joe, that’ll be my replacement.
He doesn’t seem to want to do it.
When you say do it, do we mean ***.
Yes, strange isn’t it.
I don’t know, I don’t know Joe.
He’s a man, what is there to know.
Why is he not chasing you around the house.
I don’t know, what happened to us.
You dumped me.
I know, but why.
Let me see now, oh yeah, you said you wanted a ring, marriage, children, house, and a pony. I said I didn’t like pony’s. You said that’s the last straw. I said, exactly, do you know how much straw costs. You said, shut up about the straw. I said, where would we put a pony. You said, shut the **** up about the pony, shut the **** up about the straw. Do you want to marry me or not. I sort of got lost for words, and by the time I got round to saying I would love to marry you, you were away with Joe.
You’re so full of crap, you ran a mile, actually you and that pony have a lot in common, you’re both mule headed.
You’re still with Joe, did he give you a pony.
No, he gave me something else.
Frustration
It’s not all about *** you know, he’s saving himself.
That’ll be the biggest coming this year then.
I don’t know why I phoned you, you do my head in.
You need to borrow me till Joe’s ready.
No I don’t, celibacy is the in thing now.
Well in that case, I just want to congratulate on your resolve.
Are you seeing anyone.
No, I’m going through a monking phase at the moment, new habit.
So we could meet as friends then.
I don’t see why not, a friend in need is a friend in need.
I think that’s a friend indeed.
Indeed it is friend.
Should I bring a bottle round.
That would be a friendly thing to do.
You won’t mention Pony’s will you.
I won’t mention Pony’s.
Okay, I’ll bring Joe with me.
What.
I need to send him back, the post office is on the way.
Ha ha, nice one.