Waiting, debating
Contemplating.
On whether or not I
Should be saying.

He took one thing
I can never get back.
It just goes to show
The real man he lacks.

Trust was a thing
My mom gave to him,
Not knowing the monster he
hides within.

I lay down for sleep
As he tells me to.
Knowing the moment is coming,
When he finally breaks through.

I'm hurt and
I'm bleeding.
He's laughing,
Ignoring my pleading.

Does he care?
Does it bother him?
Knowing there was more than one thing
He put inside me
Other than grim.

Three years have past
And I am still perturbed,
By the mess he left,
All things in my world are disturbed.

Just thinking he's out there
With some other girl.
She's probably so scared.
It makes me want to hurl.

I have no bruises,
I have no scars.
But taking my virginity,
Was like taking my heart.

Why would he do this?
What did I do?
I cant take my mind off of him.
I don't know how to.

picture perfect memories,
are not the images I see.
When I look back and think
Of a younger me.

I see his face
flash in my mind
Smiling his ugly smile,
I wish I was blind

You are with me everyday,
I feel you with every breath,
Your thought is with me,
With every decision I make.

You have been with me until now,
And it is hard to face,
That you are finally gone,
And I will never see you again.

Your hands, your touch, your smile,
Are things I will never forget,
All the love you shared with me,
And all the tears and pain you made go away.

In our short time together,
All the memories we had,
Will last in my heart,
Those memories I will never forget.

Although you have left,
Now you walk above,
You are always with me,
I'm always surrounded by your love.

Now you don't have to worry,
For your love will be passed on,
Cause even though you left,
You are Always in my Heart.

You see a golden bear,
holding 3 diamond balloons,
all connected by a thin golden chain,
around my neck.
Its more than that...

Its the thing that holds,
A troubled past
My past.

Holds sorrow
Of the day,
My best friend
Said goodbye...

Not knowing it was,
the last goodbye.

That chain you see,
Is the last thing I have left.
And someday,
I hope I'll know why he left.

I know he's out there somewhere.

I wish he could see how far I've come,
I hope he's proud of who I've become.

Till we are together again best friend.

I miss you Dad...