You can tell by the blank stare in my eye
I don’t give a fukk And I’m not afraid to die
Tried to put the pieces together, but I don’t  think it can,
Chasing the coke snowstorms like I’m a fukking weatherman
Hate what days are like now, without any of the hype,
Making questionable choices, gambling with my life
My connect got what I need, he’s sliding late at night,
If tonight’s gonna my last, at least I burned out bright.

The single thought lingers,
it won’t ever leave,
Waking up from the memory,
scared and can hardly breathe,
Curled up on the tiles,
feeling exhausted, numb, and cold,
Just wishing that for one last time,
I could have your hand to hold.

My mind is a war zone,
but I can never leave
Coming apart like a frayed cord,
starting to unweave
Thick fog clouds my feelings,
they are so hard to see
I’m locked inside my own cage,
but I’ve lost the key
And when I eventually break out,
and my happiness finally shows,
The memory comes in and steals the show, until the curtains close.

Alas my time is spent, I can no longer wait,
Away I must go, believe me it's something I hate,
Our time apart this time, may only be a week,
Regardless of the time, your presence is what I seek,
Now it is time to set sail, before the final wave,
Just know my love,  that our love will never change

Wake to gunshots like an alarm,
Another day in foreign lands,
Enemies who mean to do us harm,
The lives of my men in my hands.

Pinned down by bullets zipping by,
Always the first in the fray,
With help from the lord up high,
I will live to see another day.

All I can think of is the call from my wife,
While casings rain down from my gun,
She said don’t you dare waste your life,
Any day we are going to have a son.

Smoking and drinkin’
No longer waiting for the weekend
Abusing Anything that will numb the pain,
Strange clouds rolling in and pourin’ rain
I stopped smoking ****, for about 2 years,
But that all changed, the night you disappeared.
I always see you around, even tho I know you’re gone,
Like a ghost of the Dutchman, who always has to leave at dawn.
So I spend nights like these, sitting  on the roof,
Reaching cloud 9 trying to find you, that’s the truth.
Thoughts of the bullet or the pill, both will set me free,
But I carry on because I know I got my angel watching over me.

Miss you <3

Inhale clouds to put my pained mind at ease,
At the edge of the pond, surrounded by trees.
Lie down in the grass, a bed of deep green,
Admire the peace of nature, she is my queen.
Feel the warmth of the sun, as it touches your skin
Feeling happy from the high, I just giggle and grin.
So whenever I need to be alone, in need of some space
I’ll inhale again, I’ll find zen, and come back to this place

big heart full of love but it barely beats,
Walking all alone down the cold and  empty streets.
so eerie and quiet, like the dead in their graves,
a small boat on the ocean getting battered by the waves.

So innocent, so happy
so full of life and so free,
Just imagine all the things
that we could possibly be.

They took us so young
We hadn't really a choice,
We scream from the pain
But they silence our voice.

With time they began to mold us
So others could not see,
that our happiness is a disguise
From which we cannot break free.

Tired of being their slave
We choose to turn and fight,
But the battles seem so hopeless
No victory or end in sight

defeated in every battle
We ask ourselves why,
Depression quietly replies
What is dead may never die.

I want to be your habit,
Your guilty pleasure,
Hooked like prometh and codeine,
I'll love you forever

I want to be your habit,
Who's always there for you,
Like the THC rushing to your brain
I make happy what was once blue

I want to be your habit,
The kind you can't escape
Who picks up pieces of your broken heart
And reconnects the pieces with tape

EAE

Today I'm feeling weary and my back is sore and tight,
Please give me a back massage, I won't put up a fight.
Please massage my shoulders, my legs and my feet,
Then please massage massage again, that would be so sweet.
When you done massaging, massaging high and massaging low,
Could you give me a body tickle, from my face down to my toes?
By the time you complete this task, I feel like I've achieved zen,
And if you do this every night, I'll never say no again.

EAE

I guarantee that before we're done, I will make you scream,
Hit he gas, doggy pound your ***, and fill your ***** with cream.
I'll lay on my back, you'll sit on my ****, yeah I'll give you a whirl,
I'll pull you in tight, pound with all my might, and whisper "you're my ***** girl"
I'll have you kneel and Grab your face, you will be ******* my ****,
My homemade mace, I'll *** on your face, and you'll give it a cleaning lick.
I have to admit, it feels so great, when you play with my ****,
Your **** have major mass, my ***** back in your ***, because it's so ******* thick.
And when we're done, we've had our fun, and now it's time to rest,
We'll slow down the pace, you'll sit on my face, and I'll show you who's the best <3

If I had a conversation with my brain, I wonder what it would say;
Sorry I'm a mess and have you depressed, making you feel this way.
Im good at helping you remember a lot, but also make you forget;
so drink a brew because I ******* you, you're now in so much debt.
So sorry for the restless nights, on nights just like this;
I know your sad and always feel bad, because you really miss your Miss.

I only miss you when I'm breathing, what Derulo says is true,
And wake me up when September ends, cuz that's when I'll see you.
Yeah I know it hurts sometimes but, you'll get over it,
Because If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do, I'd be destroyed as if a hurricane hit.
I miss the warm touch of your skin, loving you could be a crime,
Yes it's true, I'm in love with you, and will till the end of time

Derulo, Green Day, ***, Combs, Carey

I know I'm not perfect, but I truly try my best,
Contemplating my mistakes, nights pass without rest
I only want what's best for you, So I truly try,
But every mistake that I make,  I get scared that you'll say "bye"

I really do try my best, this I hope you see,
And I'll try and try, till the day I die,
Just don't give up on me.

I went out to see you over n' over
And found a special day,
The day I'd ask you to be my girl
Which was the 1st of May

It was very early in the morning,
The morning when you said yes,
Of the day after the day I danced,
With you in your pretty dress.

Know that I have loved you,
Loved you now and and at the start,
The start of a day with a gown and rings
And the day I first gave you my heart <3

EAE. Rica <3

I'm dying to hug you especially after what happened this night,
I'm dying to fix all my mistakes and to make everything right.

I'm dying to be the one that makes you happy every day
I'm dying to say I love you and in my heart you'll always stay

I'm dying to protect you from anyone who would dare hurt you,
I'm dying for that job because that's what good husbands do

I'm dying to spend every day with you for the rest of my life,
I'm dying in excitement for the day I get to call you my wife

EAE. Rica <3

Depression is a sickness, it drains the life from you,
Every night is a battle, will you win or will you lose?
Pain is the process, felt by heartache and by tears,
Depression takes time, lasting months or lasting years.
Solitude is simple, while depressed you feel this way,
The only question for depression; how long will you stay?
Healing is the hardest, be that as it may,
For me it's been her love and comfort every single day.

EAE. Rica <3