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300 · Apr 6
Crushed in flight
Emmett Apr 6
With you
I knew
All the lights and darks of tears

With you
I knew
The highest highs and lowest lows

With you
I knew
How another persons silence could be the greatest of comforts

Now your gone
No longer can I take comfort in your silence only Emmett’s silence

I’m my old self

Stuck on level ground
No longer able to sing melodies from the tops of mountains
No longer am I crushed beneath the weight of drowning tears

Is this good? Or did I lose myself in you?
294 · May 15
Emmett May 15
Writing my soul out
Writing my tears out
Writing my thoughts out
Writing my emotions out

It won’t go out

I want my heart out
My pain out
It all to stop  
To be numb

But I can’t so I lie in bed
Unmoving except to write it out

I write my soul out
I write my tears out...
And so it begins
252 · Apr 2
Lines written pt. 1
Emmett Apr 2
Feel my dust
slipping through my hands

Feel my dust
falling on the floor

Feel my dust
reaching for your heart

Feel my dust
being pushed away

Feel my dust
Feel my dust
It's almost gone

My time is almost gone
You left my heart there's no return
All the lines have all been drawn
Yet there's all the fire you can't unburn
186 · Apr 4
Emmett Apr 4
Goodbye I love you...
Goodbye love...
182 · Mar 29
Finding Happy
Emmett Mar 29
Happiness can be found not only in the obvious, light flooded areas.
I smile.
A laugh.
A night sky filled with stars.
A kiss, a hug.
Dying of laughter on the floor.
Sitting back on the lake and realizing you have a good moment and asking “what is life but this moment with infinite variation?”

But happiness can also be found in pain. In the dark places that haven’t been lit and where no friend will follow.
You cry on the bathroom floor,
filling the toilet with countless tissues
until you starting risking overflowing if you ever try to flush.
But then next morning you have a song you can sing for years to come;
a poem you will read to your grandchildren and watch the smile spread wide as they think “wow, he was just as young as us once”;
a new, redefined relationship.
All these things are happiness.
134 · Mar 30
Keys and Doors
Emmett Mar 30
You are the doorway
They the key
your friendship and love the path to light
Take it
Open the door
128 · Mar 20
Live Love your life
Emmett Mar 20
Baba black sheep have you any wool?
Go sir go sir, my life’s all full

I spent it on him
And I spent it on her

And I spent it on them
and on they and on we

No sir no sir I never had time
To spend on myself
And my life’s no longer mine
97 · Mar 17
What life?
Emmett Mar 17
Ahh life oh momentary beauty.
Ahh life you fleeting joy
Forever Unfulfillment
95 · Apr 1
Emmett Apr 1
Goodnight joy
Goodnight after
laughing crying dying laughter

Goodnight books
Goodnight smiles
And all my silly little whiles

Goodnight moon
Goodnight stars
I hope you sleep well in this little bed of ours
92 · Mar 22
Emmett Mar 22
Goodnight my love
Goodnight my life
But I don’t want to say goodbye

Sleep well my love
Sleep well my life
I guess it’s really time
To say bye bye
Love you all! I hope you have someone to be their love. If not, and even if so, I love you!
90 · Apr 28
First love
Emmett Apr 28
What is love
I'm not sure

I said I yearned
You said let's adjourn

We've never met in court since
70 · Apr 6
Tough to live
Emmett Apr 6
Sometimes it’s tough

Tough to live
Tough to love
Tough to trust again
Tough to decide to make it to another day
Tough to make today a success

The time is now. Not sometime
65 · Mar 10
The Difference WAS
Emmett Mar 10
The difference WAS I knew all your bad
The difference WAS I told you everything. You KNEW more about me than anyone else ever.
The difference WAS I WAS there to hold you when you WERE down. I WAS there to raise you up when you WERE on the ground
The difference WAS I cried with you
The difference WAS you WERE the first person I talked about our future with
The difference WAS I knew you WERE having trouble and weren’t in a good place and loveD (?) you anyways
The difference WAS we WERE going to brush and straighten your hair
The difference WAS we WERE going to go hot tubbing The difference WAS a fault in our stars
The difference WAS the best book ever
The difference WAS I could die laughing at my jokes and you wouldn’t think badly of me
The difference WAS you WERE going to be the first person I loveD and the first person I COULD have told that to
The difference WAS I WOULD have been there at three in the morning if you needED me
The difference WAS Pride and Prejudice
The difference WAS stegosaurus hair
The difference WAS music
The difference WAS Ted Talks
The difference WAS John Vervake
The difference WAS spur of the moment star gazing
The difference WAS spiders in your hair
The difference WAS you WERE my hand coolers and I WAS your hand warmers
The difference WAS black licorice
The difference WAS I WAS there when you relapsed The difference WAS you hated dance monkey
The difference WAS give me and _ give me a _ give me a _ give me a _ go _!
The difference WAS I wrote four songs and five poems for you in a month because I thought you careD and I DIDN’T care about you not being in a good place. We WOULD have gotten through it together
The difference WAS you said you WERE scared to lose me
The difference WAS I fell asleep with you every night
The difference WAS Guichi spelled g-u-I-c-h-I
The difference WAS Trashcanpaul
The difference WAS your terrible mic voice
The difference WAS dum dum dum diabetes
The difference WAS you showed me your favorite booth at acoustic
The difference WAS I said that I COULD love you and you said you COULD love me too
The difference WAS moth memes
The difference WAS street lamps
The difference WAS bless me
The difference WAS scrunching
The difference WAS you asked me to be there and I said yes and you said no
The difference WAS we WERE going to watch Mamma Mia The difference WAS laughing at the stupid things
The difference WAS you were going to be my date to the FLC dance if you said yes
The difference WAS that you thought
The difference WAS you thought and shared rawly
The difference WAS we WERE going to watch Nacho Libre
The difference WAS you WERE the first person I stayed up to six am for
The difference WAS we read together
The difference WAS we WERE going to write a chipotle and The Best Book Ever song together
The difference WAS Tacos by Tyler
The difference WAS Lemons at three
The difference WAS Elsa Roonie Fiona
The difference WAS stars on an empty night
The difference WAS dad jokes
The difference WAS Jeremy the book
The difference WAS you WERE my first real kiss
The difference WAS I WOULD have been there through the thick and thin
The difference WAS, WAS that a thinking sigh?
The difference WAS I reached out to Lillianna to email you
The difference WAS you shared your music with me
The difference WAS Holding on to you
The difference WAS our handshake
The difference WAS that hug after acoustic that Saturday night
The difference WAS your eyes moved too fast
The difference WAS Ninja The difference WAS “how lucky am?”
The difference WAS _
The difference WAS I only got to say goodnight to you twice... and never again
The difference WAS you WOULD smile and bite your tongue
The difference WAS what are you thinking
The difference WAS what are you feeling
The difference WAS running
The difference WAS I WAS going to bring you to YOU
The difference WAS we WERE going to go stand up paddleboarding on cedar lake
The difference WAS we WERE going to canoe into the sunrise
The difference WAS we WERE going to watch the sunrise and the sunset on the same day
The difference WAS we WERE going to layout on your lawn and watch the stars
The difference WAS I WAS going to look at your patio NEXT time I came over 
The difference WAS I trustED you. TrustED you enough to not leave. You WERE always the one with the fear of me leaving you. I wonder if you ever knew it was you, not me, saying goodbye (correction: leaving. No one ever says goodbye to someone they want to see again)
The difference WAS you said you didn’t want to get into anything that wouldn’t last... and yet... you are the one ending...
The difference WAS you smelled amazing
The difference WAS you HAD my sweatshirt
The difference WAS you never watched movies
The difference WAS you told me even though you WERE scared to
The difference WAS I filled a toilet full of tissues writing this because I couldn’t stop crying
The difference WAS I made you a bracelet
The difference WAS you WERE the only person that I actually talked to anymore
The difference WAS I made short cuts for emojis in my phone... for you
The difference WAS watching The Office clips
The difference WAS you read all my bad writing
The difference WAS I drove 30 minutes... to kiss you
The difference WAS hello... _
The difference WAS you’re weird aha
The difference WAS I showed you my journal
The difference WAS I WAS there when you called me crying
The difference WAS talking about religion
The difference WAS talking deeply
The difference WAS you WERE the first person that I was truly scared for
The difference WAS the plans we made
The difference WAS you grabED my phone off the techno table
The difference WAS we WERE going to get Ethiopian food
The difference WAS dying of laughter because of Ron Swanson
The difference WAS I USED to be able to be anyone I wantED around you
The difference WAS we WERE going to watch Les Mis in three minutes
The difference WAS that photoshoot
The difference WAS you WERE my first milkshake
The difference WAS I KNEW you weren’t all right, but I was alright with that.. with you
The difference WAS you WERE the first person I cried with and not for, but I HAD you then... NOW YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER PERSON WHO BROKE MY HEART. YOU, THE UNIQUE ONE, BROKE MY HEART WITH THE SAME BULLSHIRT (you won’t get that because you haven’t seen The Good Place) THAT EVERY OTHER PERSON HAS GIVEN ME... that every... other... person has said...

The difference WAS you WERE you

I’m sorry that was me being irrationally angry Goodbye... and thanks for all the fish (you won’t get that either because you haven’t read hitchhikers guide to the galaxy). You were my Hazel Grace. Until now I would never have made that comparison, but now it seems aptly fitting. Yuppers... goodbye
64 · Mar 17
Only in my mind
Emmett Mar 17
come on tomorrow
peak through my window
don't leave me to die

come on tomorrow
magic land of my mind
loosen the noose surrounding my mind

I don't ask for much
just tuck me into bed tonight
enfold me in your arms
then maybe all my tears will run dry

tomorrow broke my heart
I was never enough for you
for you never knocked on my door

it seems like you come to me
every sunrise and morning
but it’s only today

but I don’t ask for much
please tuck me into bed tonight
enfold me in your arms
maybe then all my tears will run dry

come on tomorrow
come on tomorrow

today is today
I’m on the bathroom floor
if you could see me maybe you would die too

why’d you leave me tomorrow?

at least your in my mind
48 · Mar 14
Never Tomorrow
Emmett Mar 14

I've said more than my part
And now it's time for me to depart

Sleep well and sleep peacefully
and if not then at least lay there easily

Knowing that it will all be ok
You'll be there to see another, brighter day
46 · Mar 31
Future death
Emmett Mar 31
Only with the hope of a future
Do we survive the present
46 · Apr 2
Emmett Apr 2
Well dang, sister!
Who gave you the right to be shining up my day with that face?!
44 · May 23
Joy is not foolish
Emmett May 23
We fool ourselves with the small things
But joy is never foolish
43 · Mar 30
Emmett Mar 30
The key to the wrong door

The door to the wrong key

A smile, unseen waits on the other side

Switch keys... please?
43 · Apr 16
death to everyone else
Emmett Apr 16
Your life happens to you
Your death happens to everyone else
Emmett Apr 3
It’s funny a how a smile can cause so much ache
42 · Apr 3
Emmett Apr 3
The sunrise shattered across the discordant melodies of my mind
A sudden bursting of light and sound
Reverberating so beautifully as to cause my eyes to reach into the lakes of muck to find the clearest tear
42 · Apr 8
Emmett Apr 8
Some days feel like your own personal winter,
Devoid of love  

Then you walk outside
And the grass is warm
42 · Apr 3
Goodbyes = not fun
Emmett Apr 3
Why do I cry at night
And when I’m in plight
You leave me out of sight

Why do I smile during the day
And when I see you we dance and play
But then I fall when you finally say g’day
Emmett Mar 20
But it's his own mind...

so what can he do?

He just accepts his mind,

half-heartedly minds his heart

and carries on slightly morning for the death of an imagined self
40 · Mar 16
What Tonight?
Emmett Mar 16
What am I feeling tonight?
Do you know those days where everything is normal or worse until one moment?
Then in that moment, a galaxy of tears flood your gates. Or all of a sudden clouds of joy flutter into your heart.
But you aren't sure if that one moment is enough to make today a bad or good day.
That was my day.
I danced in laughter and joy
and spinning chairs mixed in between StarWars quotes and silly songs
because our connection was bad.

Today was a good day
40 · Apr 14
Emmett Apr 14
I plot
I ponder
Some days I simply persist

If time dilates when one moves at high speeds
Does it contract when one moves barely at all
A beautiful quote from a beautiful book
When breath becomes air by Paul Kalanithi
Emmett Apr 3
Thank you sun
Thank you garden
Thank you friend and piano and breath
Thank you sister
And thank you laughter
And thank you trampoline

Thank you trees
Thank you blankets
Thank you books

Thank you Hello Poetry
And love
And the ability to try again tomorrow

Thank you for my ability to smile
Thank you tears
Thank you bracelet giver

Thank you punching bag
And karate
And gloves

Thank you knuckles
and hands
and feet

Thank you legs
Thank you feet
Thank you chairs

And especially
Thank you moon
Thank you clouds
Thank you stars
I can get lost in you and lose myself

Thank you life
I appreciate you
40 · Apr 20
Emmett Apr 20
I don’t know the words to say
Each time I open up my mind pushes me away
It’s there’s a lock down in my mind
My thoughts are left there always to reside
40 · Apr 8
ur lovely
Emmett Apr 8
hi lovely (:
Let’s do some self care, yeah?
first, throw on your fav baggy jammies
yes, i have acne too, it’s okay (:
ur cute :)
now get comfy cozy and get some rest.
i love u.
This was a quote from one of my friends @laurenmcofferyyy
40 · Apr 3
Beautiful mind
Emmett Apr 3
Hey you!
Yes you with the creative beautiful mind!
You deserve the world plus one
So go get ‘em!

You’re enough
Emmett Mar 10
I don’t want that.

I want the person that I stay up until 12:30 with on the phone…
I want that because to that person I could share. To that person, I could be myself. To that person, I could ask “how long are my eyelashes do you think?”, “what do you think toenail clippings smell like?” and “what are you feeling?” That’s the person I want.
I want the friend who I meet up with and talk to for hours without ever getting bored.
I want the friend who I can sit in silence with and not worry about if they are going to say goodbye because they have dinner to eat, a home to get to, or another joke to laugh at.
I want the person who texts me dad jokes, even though they call them corny because I am feeling down.
I want the person that tells me that I deserve all the dad jokes in the world to make me laugh.
I want that person that trusts me enough to call me when they are in pain.
I want the person that cried for thirty minutes, said nothing and hung up.
I want the person I could be there for.
I want the person that I knew exactly what to say in order to ask if they were alright.
I want the person that sits on the phone for hours playing their favorite music and saying nothing.
I want the person that sings and plays guitar for me until I fall asleep.
I want the friend that I sing lullabies to only it doesn’t help them fall asleep and they say goodbye anyways.
I want the friend who I can share a milkshake with.
I want the one who I can sit, listen to music, watch the stars, and not say a word nor touch a limb, and yet feel so comfortable and happy with.
I want the person that is my stars without ever touching.
I want the person that gets frustrated with me because I don’t understand their side of the argument, but they continue to try and explain it, so I understand, over and over.
I want the person that I used to be able to talk to without ever feeling rushed.
I want the person who I could tell the whole story to.
I want the person that is willing to sit on the phone for an hour saying “ok” while I tell my thoughts.
I want the person that will say I’m wrong.
I want the person that will tell me what they are thinking no matter what.
I want the person that isn’t afraid to be there for me.
I want the person that sacrifices sleep to talk to me because it’s “worth it.”
I want the person who holds me when I’m sobbing.
I want the person that lets me hold them when they cry.
I want laughing, crying and full stories on Monday.
I want philosophy and opening up on Thursday.
I want crying on Saturday.

I don’t know if I can have that though…

I miss them when I shouldn’t... When I’m talking to them I remember when I could talk and be heard for myself, my whole self, my whole story, or my whole silence.

Then, I had that silence to fill or be left empty. Now it’s always empty…. I remember when I was there to help them through the thick and the thin. I know it’s not fully their decision, but I wonder if they will ever let me back in, let me give the punch line, finish the story, cry on their shoulder, or laugh at me laughing at my jokes again…

You said, “please ease my fear.” How? Tell me how and I will… I never want you in pain. But, how when I’m so scared?

They left before the punch line...
Emmett Mar 17
What does it mean to feel?

A punch to the jaw
An unrung call
A leap from a building way too tall

Crashing and falling
Aching and sawing
Naked poring eyes all done with the aching and balling

leaping, flying, falling
dying, crying, crawling
39 · Apr 6
To love
Emmett Apr 6
A heart pumped full.  
Laced with fear.
Slowly bleeding out.
39 · Apr 28
Except me... accept me
Emmett Apr 28
Everyone meets...
except me

Everyone laughs...
except me

Everyone loves...
except me

Everyone everything...
except me
39 · Mar 29
Emmett Mar 29
It will be hard
But say yes
39 · Mar 18
Anxiety Crawling
Emmett Mar 18
Anxiety why do you crawl into my mind with me?
And cloud my vision and every little thing I see?

Don’t you know you’re not welcome here.
Maybe this time you’ll leave my mind and never reappear.
38 · Apr 8
Emmett Apr 8
A tilled life of memories
That, once your gone,
You never get to enjoy
38 · Apr 8
What’s life for?
Emmett Apr 8
If you can find joy in a walk
Does IT ever really matter?
38 · Apr 11
Emmett Apr 11
Wise men say
Only fools rush in

But there’s no way
To find what can’t be found
Emmett Mar 29
What’s the hardest thing
you will ever do?

Be ok
with who you are
Emmett Mar 11

Are you ok? Are you decent? Are you adequate? Are you enough? Are you sad? Are you crying? Are you happy? Are you loved? Do you love? Are you warm? Are you cold? Are you tired?

It’s ok. You’re ok. You’re enough. You’re wanted. You’re adequate. You are happy. You’re loved. You loved once. You’re warm. A little. That’s ok. We love you. I love you.

~ Emmett
37 · Mar 29
Emmett Mar 29
I approach a god
I leave myself
36 · Mar 30
You, the star
Emmett Mar 30
Twinkle twinkle little star
Don't leave your life and go to far

You count the steps there's quite a sum
but look and see how far you've come

Twinkle twinkle little star
you are enough just the way you are
Goodnight loves. You are good. You are wise. You are enough. You are loved
Emmett Mar 23
Starlight star bright
All my loves sleep well tonight
I wish I may I wish you might
Sleep in beds of love and light
Sleep well
36 · Mar 18
Respite: Sleep
Emmett Mar 18
Sleep tight
I wish I will, I hope I might
leave tomorrow better then tonight
Sleep well loves
I hope your day is full of joy and if not that’s ok.
You are loved.
Emmett Mar 23
There’s nothing I could ever say or do
To make you realize how much I love you
Love you all so much!
35 · Mar 21
Blinded by a breath
Emmett Mar 21
Help me see
1000 ways
That we can breath
Stop me please
This was lyrics that nicholascromeenes made on TikTok for one last time and I loved them
34 · Apr 3
Darkness shatters
Emmett Apr 3
I saw a picture today. This is what it felt like:

Darkness shattering across my heart
Splinters left for me to pick up

Because each smile you give to someone else leaves me wondering if I was really enough

You roved the landscape of that darkness
But never with me

You left that broken glass for me to clean up
Saying simply “I might”
34 · Mar 17
Emmett Mar 17
it's ok to cry
i'll be there by your side

~ love
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