Fingers run through tangled hair;
And I see you wince in pain;
As I pull ever so gently

I feel your breath on my neck;
As your head lays on my chest;
Looking up with soft eyes

It is as if you see something that isn’t there;
A version of me known only to you;
A version worth loving

My eyelids grow heavy;
And you are already asleep;
Everything is as it should be

One day you left, without any intention of returning

Leaving me to become the man of the house at the old age of seven

You gave me much more than just a new responsibility, you gave me your characteristics as well

You helped make me cold and uncaring, unable to see anything besides my hurt for so long

I was slowly becoming the man you are and I became the person I didn't want to be

I have made the same mistakes you have and they fill my heart with guilt everyday

I have become better over time, but the person you made me still lives inside, and claws to get out;

And I fear that in time, he will get out, and I will grow into you

So thank you for leaving and filling my soul with the essence of you

My mother has always been my biggest fan;
But not always my bestfriend

Constantly picking apart my flaws, at what always seemed to be the worst moment possible

Could easily identify mine, but refused to acknowledge hers;
Constantly making her upbringing her excuse and to why she is the way she is

My childhood is the reason I am who I am, but I do constantly throw it in her face

Hiding perfectly behind a wall of excuses and within a sea of trauma, my mother has become the perfect worst version of herself

She now tries to be better, but still refuses to accept any actual change

I hope she soon finds peace within herself because no one deserves to leave this world with a heavy heart

Do you ever hear something that leaves you feeling a wave of nostalgia?

You get a warm familiar feeling and are left with a strange tingling feeling across your entire body

Pleasant memoires surrounding that particular song take you back to better days

Days without sadness or melancholy

And when it ends, you feel a little bit sad, wishing for just five more minutes of peaceful pleasantness

I wish I could feel like this forever

Light peeks through the closed curtains and I wipe the tired from my eyes. The first thought is coffee and what to do today, as if I need to actually do anything on a Saturday.

A somber silence fills the house, it seems that I am the only one here. I welcome the thought of alone time, yet at the same time I wish someone was here.

Maybe someone who genuinely cared of the thought of waking next to me, hell, I'd even take someone who was miserable at the thought.

My body is tired from the week that ended faster than expected and my mind is exhausted from the thought of having to do it again the day after tomorrow. This working for a living thing is proving to be a chore.

These random ramblings from a tired man feel necessary and un-necessary all at the same time, yet I feel better nonetheless now that I have let them leave my thoughts.

Let's get this weekend over with, So a new one can begin.