..Music is my inspiration,
It fuels my drive, my goals, and it is my motivation,
My determination, enduring and undying,
I could say that I don't need it but I know that I'd be lying.
Make it without trying, its everywhere you go,
inside everything you see, it's in everyone you know.
And what a thing to hear, go tell everyone that's near, both enemies and peers, have no fear,
Here's a cheer, even if you don't drink, grab a beer,
hear ye, hear ye, come, thee and listen,
Music is my medicine, to spread it is my mission.
And if I do succeed and infect a single soul,
I hope that it's contagious and the virus starts to grow,
And soon everyone will know, whether young or really old,
That time might heal all wounds but music's therapeutical,
So bask in all its greatness, relax and just embrace it,
Music's all around us, it's surrounding and amazing.

Music's such a blessing, don't you all agree?
Music is my armor when the world's attacking me,

Without it, I'd be crazy, how'd I ever get so lucky?
Me and music go together like a bath and rubber duckies.

To provide you with some sort of deeper mental stimulation.
From the Master, Uniquely Specializing In Creation

Golden, ripe berries burst open with a tangy
Crunch
Into my mouth, patient belly waiting.

The harmonious connection between my tongue and
The fruit;
Warm juice drizzles down my chin.

Simple. All I know is the sun
Rising and setting.

New light threatens to expose me, like it does every day.
The warm breeze is almost as tantalizing as
My cave.

It is all a dream. It must be.
But, then why is there a bitter taste, a foul smell?

Reality pushes gritty seeds into my teeth,
Blows humid into the air,
and still…

Could we distinguish otherwise?
It is an intense game I play,
Always hugging a hazy border.

In the end,
I prefer my plush dreams, my pearly visions,
Before I must awake
To Truth.

As the pen scrawls
feelings into words
my temple is awoken by
the touch of cold metal
and the trigger’s fast click.
My heart tells my hand
what letters to form.

The beautifully peaceful coexistence
is over.

Tension builds in my veins,
I cannot hide from myself any longer.

The demons are calling.

I saw my toes the other day.
I hadn't looked at them for months.
Indeed, they might have passed away.
And yet they were my best friends once.
When I was small, I knew them well.
I counted on them up to ten
And put them in my mouth to tell
The larger from the lesser. Then
I loved them better than my ears,
My elbows, adenoids, and heart.
But with the swelling of the years
We drifted, toes and I, apart.
Now, gnarled and pale, each said, j'accuse!--
I hid them quickly in my shoes.

(the city had fought the fortnight before)
fire burned through the little skirts
and plastic lunch boxes
carrying the nourishment of our future
doctors and worldshakers—

                                 Future
tax paying Americans
And beacon of the nation.

Wide awake, in the thoughts of a light bulb,
(Where sidewalk stairs politic with the devil,)
A raindrop fell and whispered to the asphalt,
“Tell me what you know about happiness…”
And somewhere, in the middle of a pineapple parade,
A Pepsi can smiled and danced the night away with Nyquil labels.

I know someone who finds solace in ballet shoes
                A boy who strums his secrets to guitar strings
Someone that spends his waking moments with glazed red eyes
             As if facing this world cold turkey
                       Isn’t even an option.

For boys whose fingertips shake
                Like the burning end of a cigarette
And girls whose smiles resemble
Car crashes waiting to happen
A cacophony of shattered noises
             And those of us who feel guilty for the
                     mere act
                           Inhaling air
                        And exhaling poison
So we spend lifetimes holding our breaths

   Until we burn our lungs out trying
            To warm our hearts
            With something other than the fire
           That burns out in a smoky haze

Until our eyes become rivers,
flowing oceans
That cry out a thousand melted glaciers

Our tongues speak ruined languages
We read everything backwards
Curse in Latin
Make oaths in Russian
So whatever we say sounds beautiful.

So that our hands wont have to learn permanence,
affection
consolation.

I am making a desicion
to clean my body of
your hollow whispered bruises
cracks in my diaphragm
your words left sizzling there
like acid that dripped from your lips
I forgot the deception that swam from your eyes
I have never been stupid
enough to believe
that you were only one
when there were three.
But we stood and watched that house burn
never feeling colder,
than we did that night.
Im sorry your brother died and took
your parents with you.
So you are an orphan that
demonstrated car crashes
in the mere rhythm of your hands
or melody of your speech.
But I find myself drawn to angry cobalt blue eyes
too often enough to know that
I cannot grapple out of your choke-hold
and frozen fingers will bruise me every shade of your
roaring ocean-like blue.
I can only admire the sapphire in your soul from a distance
and hope the red ruby rage turns to wine and not blood.
I have left my marks on too many wooden floorboards, pleaded with too many icy aquamarine eyes;
from boys with steel in their voices but a fury in their hearts.
Too many fingernails stuck between infinite spaces somewhere in houses
where the silence reminded me of the stillness of a teal lake in spring
your eyes are reminiscent of a grey morning I do not wish to remember
I will leave a mark here.

i want so much to see myself through your eyes,
beautiful and unadulterated,
interesting and true.
i'm sorry i'm not that girl
i'm sorry i am so ruined
and sad
and lost
and so preoccupied with death.

i know my purpose is not to die
but i just can't get a grip
on what is real
and what is false
i want so badly to see myself through your eyes,
i'm so sorry i can't.
but what makes me worthy of your forgiveness?

i've tried so hard
i'm still trying
who knew self love would be such a challenge?
i struggle so much with finding one thing to love
about myself
every ******* day and it has exhausted me
to the point of indifference.

a friend of mine said to me today,
thank you for all of the times we have sang and laughed and played together
i began to tremble profusely upon reading
because to me, it sounded like he was saying
goodbye.
are you saying goodbye? i need to know if you're cutting me out of your life.
he said
i'm not cutting anyone out of my life. Things or people or situations
fall away on their own if they need to.
i told him how i hoped our friendship wouldn't fade away
and he said
i hope the friendship you have with yourself never fades away. It's the only one you always have. Self love will bring you everything you would ever want.
and the trembling turned into shaking and i tried but i couldn't hold still and i began
to cry and i was angry
because i knew
he was right.

i'm so sorry, i expect you to leave, i do
i expect everyone to leave
because everyone has left
and i'm always waiting for it
i don't feel as though i'm doubting anyone
but myself
because so many others have left and all i am left with
are voices that scream at me
well it was your own fault. What did you expect? No one would want to be around you. You're too sad too lost too tainted, such a drag.

and you can tell me it's all a lie
and maybe i can't see the truth, your truth
but what if it's my truth?
how many truths are there?
so then what's real and what's not?
what's true and what's false?
why did they leave and why does every embrace, smile, compliment
feel like a goodbye?

i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i just can't see it
through pure, brave, unadulterated eyes.