The challenge of having options,
brings on the perceived threat of infinite possibility.
Stagnant stresses keep us from the slightest access of tranquility,

It's intoxicating,
Too much to think tonight
So I let the ideas fly free,
Out the window, into forever, taking flight.

Bad flashes of dialogue that crushed the inner temple like an imploding synagogue.  Broke through the mask hiding the mosque.  Destroying that, which left me hardened only to find myself in my zen garden.

I've always been troubled, with matters of love.  Intense connect, and then dis
Blamed myself enough to think myself to be one to add impurities to the bliss.  
I love "too" hard, "too" strong
Soon find myself wondering what went "wrong".  
I love.  
I can't help but love, and fall with no thoughts of getting up.
Then I thought maybe I am to stick in lives only long enough,
To give all of me fill their cups.
I do, but, get stuck.
I love,
but I choose to let live.
Freedom, is sometimes the best gift to give
We're here to fly, and I want you to soar wherever, whenever.
Glad you stopped by and could share a love so tender.
Love often gets mixed up, 2 hearts in a blender

Holding each other up, temporarily, like suspenders.
Eventually letting go, against what the product was made for.

I became okay, after learning about myself tonight.  No longer did I feel so foolish, ashamed, and hurt for being one to fall with everything.  
I saw a quote that produced an internal ring

"Recognize that the other person is you."

We are all walking reflections, and it's never felt any more true

A constant longing
for something unknown
because it hasn't been experienced
Escaping the physical to find "home"
Away from a mind always on the fence

4 walls, that I've hopped many times to test other grasses
Have the scars to prove it, now I just stare in the sky as each cloud passes

a void in myself exists, and it heavily affects my soul
kind words are heard, but can't process a response
I'm glad we met, but I must surely go
Hoping that your feelings for me are no more than fond,
I want to leave you with no wounds
That's why, no matter how much I care, my leaving wasn't too soon.

Let me hide away, and sleep 'til noon
I wouldn't recommend planting your seeds here for fear that they won't bloom.

I have an endless memory
Blessing and a curse
Some moments are so significant they need to be dispersed.
Some though, are kept silent for those I've seen at their worst.

often  indescribable
pain is undeniable
questions never cease
waiting for my release

I can't hold on to anyone, without unintentionally hurting them
more love comes into play and it happens all over again

Fluctuations and regurgitations of contemplations
have me falling away from aspirations,
chokeholds of *******, yet always fascinating.

I guess, in this moment I'm not above saying that I hurt
Whatever's missing is around, and it lurks.
Curiosity leaves me in day dreams so vivid I can feel every sensation
Then I come back.  Impatient.

Just to leave again.

Returning to depart for my heart is frail
Honestly if I didn't write, few would really even see this ship sail.

It was anger,
Despair
Hurt,
Rage, building from an undisclosed sadness

Messages were cryptic
Aggression was slipped in.
Spoken word, otherworldly
We didn't realize how serious it was til you put your hand on me.

Dictating out of your element,
you crawled under our skin.
We thought that living room,
Would become a sanctuary of sin.

Tension could have been cut from the air,
helping us to breathe
I didn't know of the warning
Still we collectively wanted you to leave

A reliance on violence creates ages of defiance

Every topic with a twisted stance
We were riding on good vibes,
You wanted no part in that dance

Happy you confirmed that we weren't demons,
But you expressed audible blades for no reason.
In attempts to cut all of us you wanted to put a leash on.
For here in America being severely damaged is always in season
Manipulating and regulating a life less than half lived
Getting yours should never be the only reason you give.
Beating the **** out of somebody is what you expressed you wanted.
Touch someone I love, and I'll make sure that you're haunted
One, already lives looking over their shoulder
You sneak up, making their bright days colder.
Crushing spirits like a boulder

Tweaker livin'

Chasing roles to fill black holes in your soul
See beyond yourself, day by day losing control
We still chose to see the good, despite you being riddled with dark
Biting tongues, because anything could have been your spark

A split second in my cranium
I was overwhelmed with delirium
When you grabbed my wrist, putting a halt to our stream of bliss
Where I thought violence was appropriate,
The guitar on my lap, an instrument of creation
Completely fluctuated and almost became one of destruction.  

It was as if I felt what you were feeling with your hand touching me
Felt anger enough to see that you wanted to crush the we
Not sure why you followed us to the fest.
But you within our vicinity was an interesting test of restraint.
Tried showing you warmth, but you'd have none of it.
I hope you see life from a new perspective one day, and unconditionally love it.

Sorry we ditched you there, but our friend living in fear of you isn't fair.

Get yo head right, before "The final scene" you spoke of comes true.
A seed of hurt was planted long ago, exponentially it grew.
So high you wanted to take the sunlight from us all, only so we can't have it.

*Just be careful what you wish for, because this life is magic~

Pressed send and again I feel so far away,
Disconnected to loved ones I could only hope would stay.
So much energy given, the focus always leaves myself.
Caught in the waves of everything, if only I could ask for help.

I could, but I don't even know what to say
Wouldn't want you to waste your time, seeing as you already have a full tray.
Sorry if I can't muster a full smile, but I'll still wish you a good day.
I can be here, but disappear, into imagination - I stray.

I'm so cold
my words are mostly untold
my back reminds me I'm getting old
throughout life I was too often scolded
everyone thought I would be so easily molded
Bent backwards, I had eventually folded.
The stories are remembered, but not that I told it
This is why I write, to keep track of this whole skit
My heart is for you, you can leave behind the dull crypt
I always hold on until it's pulled, and I slip,

Back into my dark caverns only to  hear the occasional water drip

All I wanted was a type of unconditional love, someone who wanted me in their grip
But after all, this life is one long trip,
You fall, and get back up
Each instance hurts, after all you're a human with a cup.
Half the contents are there, yet, still wondering which way's down and which way's up.

Diamond in the rough, lost at sea
Maybe I'll see you where the sky meets the trees
I whispered your name, into the breeze
Just always remember that I love you, please

My body just wants to crumble with every exhale
*Dying to release