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RyanMJenkins Jan 2014
Pressed send and again I feel so far away,
Disconnected to loved ones I could only hope would stay.
So much energy given, the focus always leaves myself.
Caught in the waves of everything, if only I could ask for help.

I could, but I don't even know what to say
Wouldn't want you to waste your time, seeing as you already have a full tray.
Sorry if I can't muster a full smile, but I'll still wish you a good day.
I can be here, but disappear, into imagination - I stray.

I'm so cold
my words are mostly untold
my back reminds me I'm getting old
throughout life I was too often scolded
everyone thought I would be so easily molded
Bent backwards, I had eventually folded.
The stories are remembered, but not that I told it
This is why I write, to keep track of this whole skit
My heart is for you, you can leave behind the dull crypt
I always hold on until it's pulled, and I slip,

Back into my dark caverns only to  hear the occasional water drip

All I wanted was a type of unconditional love, someone who wanted me in their grip
But after all, this life is one long trip,
You fall, and get back up
Each instance hurts, after all you're a human with a cup.
Half the contents are there, yet, still wondering which way's down and which way's up.

Diamond in the rough, lost at sea
Maybe I'll see you where the sky meets the trees
I whispered your name, into the breeze
Just always remember that I love you, please

My body just wants to crumble with every exhale
*Dying to release
RyanMJenkins Jan 2014
I've been slippin,*
Eventually fell on my ***
Laid there on the concrete,
Evaluated the cracks

There they were connected
Perfect little fragments
A picture to me was reflected
So I picked myself up off the pavement

Then I caught the street lights,
Bright in my peripheral
Standing tall in front of dark houses
Of disconnected individuals

Two for the price of one
Morals half off
Discounted beliefs
Aisle 93, you lost?

Right by the worker,
With the smile upside down
"Which one..?"
It seems each employee's already hit the ground..

But they haven't gotten back up

Don't pay attention
Flip on the telly
Take advantage of those ads
Fill up ya belly

Contact your doctor
Take those pills!
You act with compassion
Surely, you are ill

"Maybe I am
Time to face and confess it
I was happy growing my own medicine
Until I got arrested"

This make up is the best!
Animal tested
You'll be the next pretty face
Thanks for your investment!

It's 5 o'clock somewhere
Let's get beer with the bros!
Bring back some chicks to the crib
Who thinks they can drive home?


So I try to stay away from that reality
Brainwashed to the system
To become an inevitable casualty

So many in that realm
Think they're better than everyone else
Speak in tongues
Just to get the prize on the shelf
Play with it a little bit
Then sneak away in stealth
Get something new
With all the hours you spent for wealth

What about your health?

On the other side of the spectrum
Are the hurt, waiting for the cure-all
Put down by other hurt people
Numb the pain with alcohol
Infectious depressions
Brought to you by society
I'm sorry, but,
It seems like a lot of lies and wasted time to me

Because you're beautiful
And don't ever forget it
Now tell that to the mirror
And remember who said it

And so I delve
Inside myself
Many know what's wrong
Yet too apathetic to help

I can see my ego still alive in me
Take a step back, pause and breathe
Lose identity in the forest, among the trees
Wind from mother nature's lips helps me release
It stimulates my soul, and puts my mind at ease
And when I look up to the sky
I know
I have all I need

-I'm so glad I fell-

I realized I'm beautiful,
& I'll never forget it
I have my own faultlines
Imperfectly splendid
Looked into the mirror
Ride in the eyes - introspective
Then I smiled
But honestly, only because
I absolutely meant it~
RyanMJenkins Jan 2014
I find it interesting,
The way we mold ourselves to the given situation

Different faces means new spaces
to fill liquid in, intoxicate, and ultimately change them.

So we need our weapons clasped in our grip
catch a bad intention, make sure they're the ones who slip...

No!  We've been doing this all wrong.
Keeping the walls up inhibits growth to be strong
Even if it takes, "far, too long."
Inevitably we exclaim pitches that reside in the same song.

The color-changing, tree-walkers are said to blend into their environment.

This is actually not true.
They change based on light intensity, temperature, and mood.

The personality-changing, free-walkers change based,
On the type of reaction they want to get out of you.

After all you could be the ***** to hold together the whole scheme
Caught in a feverish nightmare, when it seemed to be a sweet dream

Solitary work is needed, *now
, to avoid a potential sting
And so I take the time to rhyme this,
Evaluating the nature of everything.

The mouth can be, but the eyes are not untruthful
They precipitate pictures, from the scary to the downright beautiful
Look deep within yourself, and see your own array of colors.
We may be blind to the importance of some priorities, but I feel we're all lovers.

"Hurt people hurt people," In my life it's a fact.
But remember you can only be responsible for how you act.

No offense or defensive tactics,
Throw the whole playbook out.
Conducting this vessel requires much practice,
Reflect needs of warmth for the seeds to sprout

Make sure you don't love someone, just for what they can give to you.

Highlight their radiance, for making you feel the way you do

The cycle, is only as vicious as one portrays it
The choice is ours, and I choose to change it.

Right here,
right now
Breathe in,
Feel the oxygen go down
Hold it,
For a moment
Every exhale reminds us,
That life's color is golden.
So fold up the clothes,
And walk out the door.
So many illuminated pigmentations to see,
~Everybody's a new world to explore~
RyanMJenkins Jan 2014
Compare
Contrast
Slow down
Move fast
Bare soul
Fake mask
Stress out
Relax

Journey on
Create new tracks
Follow intuition
Universal facts
Time erodes
Enjoy the cracks
Into the void
A light in the black

Many questions
Just ask
Past is past
Don't bask
Be here right now
It won't last
Life is short
*Have a blast :)
RyanMJenkins Dec 2013
Twirling around like ash, focused more on the dance of the fall, than the displacement of what was whole when it hit. The pieces may never take the form of what was, but they surely have only relocated to become a part of something bigger.

So, literally, out of the blue I say to my cousin:

"My brother, how will we ever know?

Truth is

...Maybe...

We won't.

Sometimes, we have to be happy with a mystery,
or feel whatever we feel and respect it for what it is.
"

There's always so much going on we can't know all of what we want. Just be.
Do what lifts you, beyond the physical body.

Sometimes we just need someone to really connect with, openly, honestly, raw.

Sometimes we really just need to reconnect with our higher selves.

Sometimes we forget we're all one in the same.

Sometimes can be most times with blurred lines of past times.

But I'm here right now.

My mirror's sometimes clouded

But I'm surrounded on a mountain

with a new perspective

Don't wanna leave the peak,

For right now this existence is perfect the way it seems.

Peculiar interpretation, but after all,

Life

Is but a dream


I'm awake, ready to be awoken.  Sometimes words fly, yet better left unspoken.

I'm here, and looking through a screen you can't see me choking

I give my life away, take a piece as a token

I can only really hug myself, in an attempt to feel less broken.


I won't feel this way in the morning,


Each day is a new page in the story.

Everyone wants a piece of the glory///

But I'll lay me down in the water,

Drown

Or float on to a foreign territory

Away, but never to falter
RyanMJenkins Dec 2013
In the middle of mountains was no less than astounding.
Incredibly blessed for the situations I'm found in.
Forever youthful, not looking for the fountain.
Soaking in energies from the moon brightens me from what was, dim.
Exploring porous auras that I help fill when I touch ya skin
Was so consumed with Yang, I forgot about the Yin
Curiosity has gotten me, in the deep end of sin~

Yet.. all a matter of interpretation
Letting go of contemplations
Jumping in without hesitation
Unconsciously yielding manifestations.
So this is a new proclamation to flip the lever
Water rising, and it's exciting biting on a new endeavor
Flooding over with no control my whole world's getting wetter
Drown it out, increase the sounds, while working for something better.
RyanMJenkins Dec 2013
Tired of wearing your heart on your sleeve?
Then go sleeveless.

I took my whole shirt off,
But still can't iron out the creases

People fall like leaves,
Engaging in various releases

Some get carried away
Leaving behind important pieces.


That being said
Gonna meditate and lay in bed.
Drift off,
replenish my energy
With a divine lucid fantasy,
Not only through rhyme
...but in my eyes...
you can see what meant so much to me

* shuts down
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