In 56 days, my life will amazingly change
In 56 days all old habits will feel strange
In 56 days, I will not be the same man
In 56 days I will hold something precious in my hands
In 56 days, my heart will being to melt
In 56 days, I hope that she will be out
In 56 days, the world will welcome someone new
In 56 days, I will be the happiest person you ever knew
In 56 days I will be a father to a daughter 
In 56 days I will forever be kinder and softer
In 56 days I get to meet my baby girl
In 56 days, I get to show her off....to the world!!

There is a hole in my head,
      it's leaking my brains,
    I'm losing my emotions,
I'm going insane,

It's hard to refrain from esoteric occupations,
living in a world of conflicted demonstration.

                                                 ­                                                     
  I don't ask for your pity in any rhetorical connotation.
                                                    ­                                                        
  I seek the wisdom....of a questionable generation.
                                                     ­                                                             
To answer questions....so patiently awaiting deliberation.

  But I leave here with no expecting realization,
  As we all can see the sign of mild sleep deprivation.

But it is so much fun to see my brains interpretation.....

Memories hang around, like cigar smoke in the air
Memories hang around like indentations in carpet of a couch that isn't there
They stain you like the pigment that paints the yellow lanes
They stain you like that naughty thought that live inside your brains
They restrain from thoughts, actions, and feelings you hold inside
When they are of a lost one we like a piece of us has died
Sometimes they warm us up and yet they bring us down
They can often be the reason we cannot escape the ground
They are always with us as the crows keep them all
Memories are often the best things when we have no ability to call

The day that you made me, planned with such care,
the greatest moment, you could see in my stare.
I was not so varied, so different from the rest,
but the love that you gave me, would make me the best.

Year after year always so loved, always in your highest grace,
sometimes it seemed over my own blood, but this was not the case.
For you loved us all equally, and always so meekly,
the only difference was, you loved me uniquely.  

Fathers always think of passing aspects on, while mothers rarely do,
but the only person I will really carry on, is only you.
Always my friend, not a secret we keep,
my closet is your closet, and those bones never speak.

I wish that I could say, you taught me everything I know,
however, the best lesson you gave me, you taught me how to grow.
The greatest words you gave to me, "do what makes you happy",
and living by this expression, I am never lacking.

My heart is not the biggest though many would disagree,
you're the reason I'm so gentle and loving as can be.
There are no real words that capture, the feelings I aim to relay,
but I write my thoughts down anyway, and hope it makes your day!

I love you momma...

Behold, the broken soul
The pain of others drips from angry teeth,
A true destroyer,
Willing to destroy his own world to decimate yours,
Hate cowers like a ***** in his presents,
Passion in veins colder than ice,
But still truer than a touch.
No amount of bleeding will suffice,
A price that stops short of my life,
Store bought anguish,
But you cannot reside where this pain lives,
You wanna fight,
I wanna bleed,
But we will only feel a need,
For all the sorry's said in jest,
I am not the boyish clown,
You already know I am the worst,
When it comes to girls, I'm gonna flirt,
But I always came home to you,
Never lies, only hard *** truth,
I never meant to be so ruthless,
I am merely akin to pointing out *******,
And when you speak,
I have no doubt!
Cause shity words come out of your mouth!

His constant burn in the absolute black
Is the forever warmth to which she attracts
He sits ever still merely watching her lingering gravitational slow dance
Gracefully spinning she wonders if touching him is ever a chance
Blasting his light on the side she shows the most
She knows his brightness is always close
In the darkness his fusion burns
So he can light the universe just to watch her turn.

As I sit in silence, so crystal and serene,
I knew at that very moment, I was only in a dream.

The texture was too sticky, the contrast not quite right,
I have to force myself into the breaking of the light.

The place not bound simple movement or defined by restricted equations,
But the purest forms of love, found only in true elation.

I take a draw of haze, to batter my frustrations,
I begin to realize, anger is only a manifestation.

Of aspects taken to heart, in the mornings aspirations,
Were merely broken dreams in a morbid mental *******.

But I take no solace, no entertaining rapport,
In the blinded manipulations that were intruded on the floor.

It is not the isolation of a soul too old for its line,
It is lost in the constant segregation of a love forgotten in time.

Now I witness the horror, before the breaking of the light,
my love is just a memory, in clichéic hematite.

Or is it too much for this world, this reality, this dimension.....maybe I am...another universal contradiction.

You sit there staring at a man I hope to be
Imagined only through your radiant eyes
Just like the woman, I profess to see
That you would meekly disguise

You tame a lion's flaming mane
With the loving waters of cooling rain
Never the enchantment or baited wish
A steely promise of love never diminished

I long for mornings with your touch
Afternoons wasted on guilty pleasures
The distance is not really that much
Yet I fail to say, I miss you beyond measure

Fondness is what grows in my absences
As we move away from our own past tense
Into a new life, destine for loving light
Set on a path we could never fight

Missed so often are the gestures
Of emotions without measure
But no less heavy from here to there.

Through nonverbal communication
Not similar to meditation
We may speak on the body's accord.

For it does not require sound
To make meaning leap and bound
Far beyond the transgression of varying tongues.

There is understanding in sight's percept
Often retold in a night or two slept
Still she is all the fills my mind.

So while a gesture I have yet to see
A burning in my mind has yet to flee
As a vision has my emotions lost for words.

Penetrating deeply into a heart much colder,
Gone is the time for need of a comforting shoulder.

Sympathy and caring far less then genuine,
To the realization, you are not a patient of mine.

Seen as a sight of angelic manifestation,
While truly a heathen of antagonistic isolation.

A heart that bleeds for others without a witness,
But trying to shrink your head was merely witless.

Trying to fix aspects that I felt were broken,
Only to see they were merely ways of coping.

With problems that inflect both of us the same,
What I view is my own scope, is not always that insane.

So I see what I see, and I feel like a **** heel,
But one does not always find the need that they feel.

I often run from hate,
I do not like the mind state,
it only leads to negative things,
Or thoughts of anger.

But there are times I find,
I am not as sublime,
as I think I am about a situation,
Or a person for whom I disagree.

So I give in to the anger,
that has me wound so tightly,
thinking it will last,
but it is always gone so slightly.

I remember the past,
seeing my father absolutely raging,
and as I go through the years,
I begin to see my anger changing.

Into a passion for fighting,
Against something that aims to change,
the person I love to be,
Into an ogre oh so strange.

I fight to use my logic,
When others want me stupid,
To take advantage of my anger,
And manipulate my emotions.

But I will never let them win,
Never resort to bones broken,
I will not fall to their level,
My heart remains forever open.

To give love.....

Tick...
Tick...
Tock!
Where is the fancy little second hand,
It's running the minute hand nonstop
And every time the long hand strikes high noon
Off goes the massive bell with a...
Boom,
BOom,
BOOM!
Harmless bombs that set off car alarms
But yet in the form of a...
ring
ding
****.
How does such a funny looking pieces metal
Ring so strong
But my pocket watch is my phone
And it doesn't have a bell at all!

There is a very fine line between a heart and a mind,
That are often confined to the smallest of spaces.

For each logical burst, there is an emotional explosion,
leaving very little room for any actual collusion.

Logic is the mind's steady locomotive moving along,
Often derailed by the most violent emotional bomb.

Emotions are the heart's scorching streams of fire burning hotter,
But are easily cooled by buckets of logical water.

The battle between these two is as epic as tectonic,
But possibly far less visible than supersonic.

The internal conflict rages on to yield one winner without a doubt,
Typically depending on the one we most needed out.

Of all the issues that were disputed by the other,
Like making the correct calculations or choosing to spend time with a lover.

Ever surrounded by white light that I unfurl from my heart and mind, a blanket of great protection where evil cannot find.

The souls that I keep sacred and perfectly safe and sound, by building the brightest sphere high in the sky and deeper in the ground.

With the heart of my will I set this light with my intention, to hold the negative at bay from every single direction.

The fire in my being will never let this white light burn away, for it will always protect us through the night into the day.

Awakening from centuries of sleep, trapped in a dream with open eyes.

A witness to the horror bore of hateful minds, safely a once beautifully free soul is now held inside.

Waves of true intention seem to bubble at the surface, fighting to escape the hand of absolute control.

Hard is the battle against that which cannot be seen, while forced to follow the rules of a role.

Where the dark dissension breaks the rulers at their core, bright souls begin to wake to view the desolate land.

Once a broken, shattered and divided people, now find the common love for which together they will band.

Never was there ways to stop this wave from crashing on existential shores, never could they stop an open heart from wanting more.

Heavy is the mind that holds vocabulary
Inside a chest of hollow sounds
Sometimes the blood drips effortlessly
Often, there is never an utterance
No words kept in a precious order
No time to speak
What must be spoken
At your feet lay twisted syllables
Held only by chaos in tune
How can you calibrate consonants
When you cannot incorporate vowels
Why would you try to create meaning
If you lack the proper reverberations
To know a simple meaning is to know the root
Some yet follow a complex path
In the search for the burden of words

In the infinite space, between the insane and the impossible, we look for ways to contemplate the strange and the implausible.

The shortest distance to a star, is the longest step in a human's mind, a constant calculation so hypothetical by design.

But in the midst of all these emotions an ethereal subconscious fight, to describe what makes us be in a world that lacks clarity of sight.

But to define is to avoid change in a world that was anything but, and to slow a passionate mind is a train one does not want to obstruct.

For obsession may be a younger man's game in the hindsight of wisdom's sarcasms, but the winner of the game is the one not falling in the chasm.

It's hard to keep from falling into the abyss of burning, always reaching for an asteroid never filling that inner yearning.    

But as we extend into the sky to touch the coldest voids of the universe, but we will bring the warmth of our light where ever humans may traverse.

Why do you shine
So deafeningly bright
Do you even know
You are the source that lit a night
As lunar tines shoot hopelessly
Through endless hovering halos
Wishing only for your luminousity
Until the twilight finally goes
Away, only to be crushed
By the realization of the day
Still thoughts of lunar light
Fills visions that I crave
Yet merely highly inspired
Like by a sunset's last array
When I look at a woman's body...
I....
Uh.....
Forget what I was gonna say?

Glory to the sacrifice that happens in the hidden night, the silent acts of selflessness for which a nation fights.

Yet ridiculed and condemned for changing a 50 year long cycle, far too worn in to be seen as anything but spiteful.

Lost in calculated measures never possessing any direction, still terrible are those who work to make the right corrections.

Holding on to ridge tradition that's forgotten it's own place in time, never fully realizing that it had crossed it's own imaginary line.

Knowing is the key to flowing with the winds of change, even though to many might see it all as strange...we cannot deny the only constant, the certainty of change.

The turn of a lip, the rise of the cheeks, that smallest action that makes my heart skip a beat.
Often they come with the cheapest of prices, even produce through electronic devices.
Other times, not even all the money in the world could entice one.
They are made for love, made for laughs, made for fond memories flooding back from my past.
Unrestricted in pleasure, forced in times of pain, there is not much better, then kissing one in the rain.
Some say they are small, some say they are trivial, but to me not getting them in life....unlivable.
Starting of excitement, cleanse away anger, the best thing to see when you first meet a stranger.
I'm speaking of giving one to many, but only really to one of a few, she may not know, but this is for you!
A smile costs nothing....yet they will change your day...
So, Smile.......smile away!!

In winters rarest bitter
Before the failing of the light
We search for significance
Far sweeter than pleasure
Yet, never frostbitten
By the freezing of the night
We hunt until daybreak
Ever deeper for the treasure
I cannot show you the foreboded corridor
But I assure you I have walked it before
On a jagged line between sanest thoughts
For a way out of madness is often fought
One's reality is a tether binding
Relatively fixed into a position
Much like a staircase winding
Only its twisted to fit a new disposition

In darkness I once sat, feeling, pining, and wanting to forget.

But patients heals the heart, giving love a new start, and a place where it is fostered and cared for.

So in darkness I must grow, so in light I can show, that that which did not **** me, made me stronger.



As the hurt has subsided, so have I been reunited, with the person I had worked so hard to create.

It is no longer a trial, to raise with that smile, that even broken teeth cannot defile.

For as darkness changes to light, my phoenix takes flight, and the fire that burns inside still remains.



It is not out of spite, but a personal fight, to bring back the lion that lives inside me.

So I give thanks for the lessons, the late night confessions, and the times that will never be forgotten.

But it is not the end, but a beginning again, of something quite different from how it started.

Fretted mental strangulation
For transgression never done
Continued contemplation
Of calibrated constraint into the sun
Tingling nerve endings simply wither in the bright
The cortex cannot receive them all, accordingly
Something is not quite right…
The pain has become hollow
Yet I am never alone,
I hurt to see the light of day
I lust for the burning tone
There is no greater sensation
Then that resembling death
Quickened is the flow of a heart that never beats
Forever walking the softest nights with lightened steps
Until the final breath of life is eternally kept…
Pleasured cerebral release
Most assured indiscretions
No more pondering a rather
Unbalanced nightly ingestion

Snow drifts over the hills as if sand, differing by merely altered warmth inside a hand.  

Icy frozen windows dripping away, not cold enough yet to last the day.

Snowmen melt like ice cream cones, just like the chunks of slush slide off of homes.  

Precious water slowly trickles down drying streets, while the fog of sublimation makes a cycle complete.

The aroma so sweet
With its burgundy hue
Drinking in her scent
While her vision eludes view

Veins pump with intensity
Red music plays its rhythm
For no normal humans propensity
Heart beats to him like a marching drum

Feeling her quickened emotions
Drawing closer with each step
She tries to cause commotion
As he quick and softly bites into her neck

The slowest embrace of ****** passion
Leaving one more lively than the other
He hates to leave her in this fashion
But vampires rarely take on lovers

So as he turns to dash away
A shadow in the night
It may not be the day
But a stake through the heart leaves ash in her final sight.....

For a heart that shines......
                                          .........blinds you with its love

Falling ever backwards into the black again
A revolving darkness that warps me up tightly never ends
There is only so much control an id can take
Only so much pressure for the ego cracks and breaks
Feeling like Pluto missing the light and constant warmth
With the weight of the world holding me from moving forth
Who can pull me from this hidden gap
What can release me from this mentally manifested trap
A pitfall that always seems to drag me in
The rut that makes me begin to hate my skin
Darker are the thoughts of death that constantly creeps like a flood that will never cease
Until She reaches for me in the darkness to be the light of my release.
She is the tiniest spark of hope that never dies
She is the one that saves me as she looks into my eyes
Always close to me, but yet so far away
I wish I could reach for her…reach for her everyday
But depression holds me tight like a demon to a soul
SO until I beat this darkness, I feel I will never be whole

In the still of silence hovers beauty of a smaller kind, the type you want to touch and hold to keep for all of time.

But she cannot be kept save in the memory of a dream, lost in a gorgeous vision with wings holding rainbow gleam.

The sweet and sensual body locked in the passion of an eye, blessed to witness her stunning beauty before we age and die.

Blue wings of this Dragon hold me spellbound in her sight, making me wish I could transform and fly away with her into the night.

But I am a mere mortal to this flying goddess I adore, if I can only look at her then I will always be left wanting more.

Can't you see the falling stars,
Their multiplying light,
They make their mark on the ever darkness,
Coursing gracefully through the night,
Into smoldering of an atmosphere,
That resists their every advance,
This is a star burning its life away,
Not merely courting or asking for a dance,
It is the most beautiful ending,
To a something unknown in a bursting brilliant light,
Never something unwanted,
But a wish in the still lonely night.
Seeing the magnificence as stars die in flight.

Warmed sand from the hot day slides between her slider toes,
Her soft delicate ankles flex so tenderly with each step,
Smooth calves pull taut with petite strength, yet so frailly,
The falling sun dances on her hip and thigh seductively,

(A woman of complete ****** power, yet seemingly helpless,
Only as fragile as the tip of the golden dagger she bares,
Her greatest power is in your pleasures pleasingly fulfilled,
For once she has you clasped then her bidding can begin,)

Widening hips well versed in shifting her gently pooched belly,
A belly, so sensual, adored with melted elemental perfections,
Colorful beads to draws eyes to skin like petals of a newly bloomed rose,
A belly that when shaking releases all your heart's troubles and woes,

(When she loves, her warmth is ten times the sun on a cold night,
But if you were to oppose her, you are the prey to the panther's delight,
She will give you everything your heart could ever desire,
A kindness that burns inside her for her lover like a bellowed fire,)
  
Fluid, water like hands tell a story of enchantment as they slice through air,
Caressing a ***** so supple in form, a tear drop design of sexiness shown,
Gentle and smooth as her beasts gyrate with motion as her body moves like waves,
Her hands the constant agonist starting a seductive chain reaction through her body,

(A passionate heart awaiting a love so true, searching for her warrior poet,
She controls her world with her feminine wile but craves a life that is true,
A man that values and respects her intellect, equally as much as the view,
And look into her eyes to see the beautiful goddess that await him,)  

Long flowing black hair loved by the wind, teasing her curls as she spins,
The beauty of her face only second to Nefertiti, but her eyes that of a goddess,
Eyes reminiscent of a feline capturing the attention of the strongest man,
Emerald green, deep with passion like the ocean, and rival its beauty infinitely,

A dream that I see her in and long for her intimately......

As they sit, staring through a foggy window, there are no memories to record, no visions to be seen.

In the hallways are footsteps of a world that moves on, while two stand completely still, in perpetual observance of it all.

No words, no looks, merely emotions and hearts being broken as a void is left open.

One plays the weaker, letting the tightness of woe in the center of the chest overcome strength, till tears steam for the fallen.

Then reversing the role to accommodate the other, pulling the weakest shoulders of the ground to show comfort to her lover.

While the people in the hallways are still oblivious to commiserate, because the world will always spin, regardless of our time spent.

Hallways filled with many rooms, many moments that are both terrible and beautiful in a single instant, here...or gone.

A boy asks his mother, "why would they sit in an empty room?", his mother turns away from the boys critically ill father and says, "I pray you never have to know why".

......."But life is not that fair".......

In the forest of my mind,
Few words are ever spoken
Sounds are lost in the distances,
Thought become so broken

Shadows casting daydreams,
Which my darkness cannot release
Singularity in Sunshine of a future outcome yet to cease

Finding only stillness in balance of the off centered night
Wondering whether my body,
Or my soul,
Will catch flight

Soaring above the emotions ebbs,
Of imaginary flows
Trying to avoid absolutes,
Inside tumultuous lowed

But perfection is elusive,
Like a sun that sets in the east
Never change to something,
That does not call to your inner beast

A pattern in dance to a soliloquy
Yet like into the past lost in senility
Caught in an impulse of rigidity
Waiting to see your inner epitome
Can you see the fertility abound 
Can you see the reflection in Venus' mound
Do you feel the words spoken are pretend
Do you hear the thoughts they hide within
Feel the fire to breathe the ashes
Burn to reveal those darker passions
Do not cry for the souls that never weep
Clench your heart as the world crumbles beneath your feet
Because while most things in life come from a dream
It's the things we see when awake that make us scream!

The most delicate rose with its petals flowing in the breeze, women are the sweetness that fills the life of leaves.

Liken to the root that digs deep into the earth, strong and ever reaching often hidden in the dirt.

The ones behind the strong branch that seems to hold the world, even harder to believe they start as breakable and vulnerable little girls.

Most grow knowing the weight of a thousand stars, all in the search to find merely who they are.

They are the mother earth that breathes life into us all, they are the ones we must ensure never fall.