My mind, spinning red like the spokes of your bicycle,
Dazed by halted slumber, lying flat and still.
The weight of Doubt pressed his callused hands
Upon my chest and at my laudable resistance,
He laughs.

I sink.

Dreams laced too vividly with haze-dusted fears,
Lasting in wake as only nightmares can.
Gaining strength with each repression,
Defiant, cold, and sharp,
Burns into thought to tease this somber heart.

Soaring downhill,
Wheels spin in unison without control.
The friction of conflicting realities
Ignite the fire in my core.
Cooling tears of salt and guilt fail to douse the flames.

Snapshots from the dreaming reel,
Float,
Snide toward my gated heart.
Falling.
Slow.
Elegant as sonnets torn in cruel haste
From the gold-gilded diary of a closet poet.

Today I was the river
I felt my soul melt in the water
I became the water
I am the water
I felt my being-ness dissolve
Into complete oneness
“I” disappeared
Felt my spirit
Reunify with the truth of who it was
Which is everything
I was the river
I saw as the river sees
I held silence and observed
A quiet place within me
Where time does not exist
A peace so deep that
It melted me.

Why, tell me why do I feel so cold?
Maybe it's because I always do as I'm told
But something deep inside me says to **** it away,
cause every single day feels exactly the same.

I feel it in my head,
I feel in my heart,
It's time I let my own world come on crashing apart.

I hate these thoughts inside my head,
They hate me too they want me dead.
I wanna run away forever,
I'll let them know I'm getting better.
Every thought inside my brain,
I wish that they would go away.
I am my own worst enemy,
but maybe thats supposed to be.

I feel it in my heart,
I feel it in my head,
They won't even care about me until I'm dead.

Why do I stick around when I'm not even wanted?
Maybe its just me but it seems so ******* ironic.
I sit and I wait for some kind of change,
But every single day is still exactly the same.

In the dead, dreary day,
My souls at last can weep.
For when the sun comes up,
I am drowning in its deep.

How dare it try and pretend,
That it's a godsend.
When I can clearly see,
The pain it's done to me.

But alast, I cannot tear myself away,
For never have I felt this way.
Always will it be forgiven,
Because of my longing for the forbidden.

At night I see this sun the most,
It a loving memory and my heart it's host.
For in my dreams a past treasure lies,
Shining out, clear to my eyes.

This sun I speak of not a sun at all,
It merely being the cause of my fall.

Can I see thee, through those windows?
Misty, grimy, opaque, but clearing.
What is foreseen, as yet nobody knows.
A presence gentle, truly nearing.
Force exuded filled with passion.
Hark thee one of gentle voice,
A lady, once pallid and ashen,
Lady fair, hath now a choice.
Greets a suitor from nether world.
Maybe lady, has new chance.
Comes to call, with love unfurled,
Novel way to find romance.
She knows not yet, what she hath found,
Deep in the land of underground.

By ladylivvi1

© 2014 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)

A voice from the dark.
Woman of honour is truly blessed.
Provided thee with a cherished spark.
The joy thy bought was never guessed.
Never believed, would make a choice.
When with dulcet tones you saved.
Lady spoke he heard her voice.
That vocal poet, she who raved.
Perchance that flowers of love occur.
Enhance those feelings, let them grow.
May our feelings be as one, with that I do concur.
Only you and I know.
Something’s are maybe meant to be.
Perhaps that poet man and me.
By ladylivvi1

© 2014 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)

Leading the wind in the wrong direction
I'm doing everything wrong
It'd flawless
    More flawless
      If only perfection
        Was all and
      Defections
    Were gone
And the wind will ****
It will torture my lead
   It will **** everything
     Opposite of our greed
  And as so carved in stone
As created to plead
     As created to master
     my soul just to breed
       more bad thoughts
          in my
         head
O' please just go instead
   I don't deserve you;
Perfection ain't dead.

Opening a window
I drive out a horsefly.
Undulations of the fields.