SomeSuicidalGirl

SomeSuicidalGirl Dec 2013

Why?

Why laugh when i cry?
Why smile when im in pain?
Why love it when im being tortured?
Why say sorry when i hurt myself?

Why keep pushing me over the edge?
Why do you like to see my tears?
Why do you want to see me in pain?
But when i try to **** myself you say sorry again?

Today it has come to an end.
I cannot take all the pain you put me through.
Im writing a letter to you.
And when you read it i hope you feel happy about me not being there to make you smile by paining me endlessly.

I had enough!

SomeSuicidalGirl Dec 2013

It is all lies my darling

Why does life consist of lies you ask.
It is truly something no one can understand.
Life is something with a mask,
But you still decide to give it your hand.
You see my dear,
Life is a journey which has its ups and downs.
How can you live if you live in fear?
You listen to those commanding sounds,
When in reality it's just you.
It whispers frightning things in your ear.
You are the one to decide if it is true,
But do not let them get near.
You are a fool my love.
You believe them and what the say.
You should only care about the one above.
These lies are a game you play.

Do you believe them?

SomeSuicidalGirl Dec 2013

You didn't mean it!!

Don't tell me you meant all those words you said.
The times you made me believe that I am truly beautiful just as I am.
That night was a night I will never forget.

'I love you' , you said to me.
It was all a pretty little lie, a lie I believed even if I knew ot was not real.
You are the reason for some of my scars.
You think this is a joke, don't you?

One day when you get your little heart broken, I will be standing there laughing at you.
Laughing because karma is a *****.

You didn't mean it, so don't say you did!!

SomeSuicidalGirl Dec 2013

Where are you?

Five months is a lot when you count how long ago you dragged a blade across your skin. I have not felt that release I used to feel for a while now. I have relapsed a few times, but not enough for enough pain to cover up my pain.

I hide myself from everyone, including myself. I do not open up to anyone anymore. I pretend to be fine, when in reality I just want a hug. I got help, but I'm just getting worse. They all say that I'm finally getting better, but little do they know I'm just getting better at hiding my pain.

I want someone to see that I'm not ok. I want someone to tell me it is going to be ok. I want that person. Please come quickly... My time is running out.

Am I okay?

— The End —