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Diya soni Jun 2023
One of those darkest Nights
Bathed in pure silence
Hinting towards the whispers
Of centuries old trees
That guards the darkness
Thats when birds slide
To their warm chambers early
For it was a place to be avoided at night
As soon as the sun sinks

Butterflies with broken wings
Raises from the dark orchids
The wolves howl their miseries out
Into the moonlit dark forest
Along with tears beaded into their eyes
Wearing all the rage wildly
As the moon beams dances around
Exposing every shadows lurking around
Liberating all the caged wounds
That echoes of helplessness
Unveiling the pain from dense heart
Whatever walked that night
Walked alone
Until sun breaks through
As if the night was all merry
How wild it was to let it be!
A metaphor about how i deal with endless nights everyday when world fall asleep just like those birds. How those endless nights acknowledges my pain. I can finally be myself with all the pain inside be at least i dont have to pretend
Diya soni May 2023
Because of criticism and pain infused into me,
I have it running through my veins
More than my own blood
Diya soni Mar 2023
Why do people ask? When theyre not willing to listen or understand or empathise with you. I was
More.., more than the labels you put on me. Before you harmed my spirit. It left me nothing..im just a mere assumption now. Strange how they ask what is wrong with me showing such concern for me. But if you domt want to listen then why even bother to ask. World is a scary place. You dont get to decide what should hurt me what not. Im not what you think of me. I am what i think of myself. Criticism never bothered me unless i got it from someone i love. Not mentioning the fact that i gave warnings about my trigger point , "dont get on my knuckle, im barely getting it together please"... yet it went on and on. Which lead me to the edge of hurting myself. Attacking someones self esteem and confidence,. While ignoring their constant request not to do this to me and still doing it on purpose is worst you could do to someone. NO ons uses Mental health as as excuse CONSIDER that. Dont go the extent tht they wanna **** themself. Be careful they are fightimg the battle you would never know.  You cannot become powerful by pulling someone down constantly. I saw it and i felt it everyday . It was not just your opinion. But you were bringing me down and you were clearly enjoying it. Maturely i gave you many signs to stop it or either try to be gentle with me. But you ignored me. You never listen to me you just beilieve your own assumption. How does my self esteem not matter to you? Why do you love watching me on my knees? Or i just look best on my knees? Dont be little my pain. You were clearly bullying me. And dont navigate my feelings. You dont get to direct tht. It wasnt just your single opinion. You pulled up like 100 of reasons abt why im not good enough! Everydayyy!! How csn you be so cruel! And here, you are questioning me why i did what i did for thw damage you done to me. Seriously!?.. did i not mentioned clearly please dont gp there im already struggling with my self esteem. Dpmt break me. Dont break me. But you are deaf i think or you just do it on purpose. And then you call me weak. I was fighting internally with my depression and low self esteem. You were supposed to cheer me up..but did the exact opposite and made it worse. These damage you put me thru makes me awake at 5 in the morning. Dont make anyone feel so worst abt themself and then act like you have done nothing. Dont play dumb. And dont act like im a immatured *** these assumptions are not gonna help you to hide the harm you caused to me. I wont forgive this! Not only this but you adrressed my mental health as excuse.  Did i asked you to help me in my tough times to help me realize my self esteem? No! I was dealing with it all alone. Somehow you seen me struggling there and decided to stab me. I saw it in your eyes how you were enjoying it and how low i think of myself didnt matter to you! Here i am coping with voices in my head tht you put there. No matter what i think now they just wont shut up. This note is all gonna be useless. You wont empathise me. You even criticise me for my good english. I cannot beilieve you. I stick with you and cheered you up when you were having hard time with yourself and this is how you repay me!?. Well, Thanku for Nothing and your silly judgements. But I AM not your JUDGement. I will bring out who truly i am. Your judgements, criticism and assumption all has to fade.
Diya soni Oct 2022
Every time i talk about my feelings
I regret it. Always
I feel lonesome hands approaching mine
to walk me through the desert.
I tense my arms against the open night sky
which cannot be pushed away.

I want you to love my grey skies,
my pensivity that rolls across mountain ranges -
the same to me as sunshine igniting streams.
Just a different lens
through which my creature plays with light.
She is elemental
and sloughs skin off the earth like lava flowing
into the ocean to close its eyes.
I'll eat my own tail
to discover what I already know.
  Oct 2022 Diya soni
bulletcookie
Pharaoh was genius ─
left all his ****, (treasures?)
for others to sort through
while he skated to after-life
free and stony of storage charges!

-cec
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