Call a                          doctor/ plumber/ priest
My heart is               broken/ leaking/ deceased
My life is                   worthless/ so much better/ over
I'm going to              **** myself/ tell your wife/ Dover
How could you         leave me/ not know/ lie?
I hope you                return my stuff/ come back/ die
I'll never                   forget you/ forgive you/ go away
I need                        closure/ a DNA test/ to tell you I'm gay
Your                           face/ crotch/ top of your back
Is                                so beautiful/ lumpy/ unusually slack
Your                           ex/ mother/ best friend from school
Always made me      great coffee/ feel inadequate/ drool
I will                           miss you/ **** you/ stalk you forever
That way we can      be friends/ get away with it/ be together
I'm sorry                   you did this/ I did this /we failed
I promise to               pay you/ dye it back/ get you bailed
Please don't               leave me/ show the Polaroids/ write or call

(*delete as appropriate, just delete it all.....)

In the wee hours of the New Year
with an empty bottle and lucky strike in my hand
hollow and clinking like funeral bells
signalling with little remorse the death of another year.
I look up at the dark night sky
and Orion's bullet hole belt buckled tight
and sighing out smoke,
I think of you.

With drowsy steps I drag drunken feet
into the cold indoors.
I shut out the lights
that illuminate the glass eyes of my apartment;
and hobbling slowly up creaky steps
holding the heavy weight of my lonely heart in my throat
I think of you.

I bump weakly into the hollow plywood door
of my hollow white room
and ******* from the rags of a days memories
I slip naked into the cold sheets of a burnt beat old mattress
and my thoughts are naked
and my souls gentle skin rubs naked against the threadbare sheets
and my prides moon bleached carcass lies naked as it always does
and my mind is cold and naked
reaching for something warm,
something comforting.
and
I think of you.

I shake myself to sleep on the lonely pool of springs
flexing, kicking
demons, energy
from my restless body.
Sleep wraps me in its velvet womb
silent and peaceful.
I think of you.

Dreams materialize from the pit of sleep
making me relive past pleasantries
obligations from other lives.
I am unsatisfied in imagination.
Feeling for something real
something worth remembering
something I can use in the darkness
I Think of you.

I'm sure the sun will rise
I'm sure I'll wake with a start
From some unremembered dream
I'm sure the cold will grab me
I'm sure it will lick sickly at my tired bones
I'm sure things will get better.
I'm sure I'll fill in the hole of a heart with black cement.
I'm sure my soul is sitting warm as a coal under an ash blanket of confusion.
But for now,
I think of you

When I was young, I used to
Watch behind the curtains
As men walked up and down the street. Wino men, old men.
Young men sharp as mustard.
See them. Men are always
Going somewhere.
They knew I was there. Fifteen
Years old and starving for them.
Under my window, they would pause,
Their shoulders high like the
******* of a young girl,
Jacket tails slapping over
Those behinds,
Men.

One day they hold you in the
Palms of their hands, gentle, as if you
Were the last raw egg in the world. Then
They tighten up. Just a little. The
First squeeze is nice. A quick hug.
Soft into your defenselessness. A little
More. The hurt begins. Wrench out a
Smile that slides around the fear. When the
Air disappears,
Your mind pops, exploding fiercely, briefly,
Like the head of a kitchen match. Shattered.
It is your juice
That runs down their legs. Staining their shoes.
When the earth rights itself again,
And taste tries to return to the tongue,
Your body has slammed shut. Forever.
No keys exist.

Then the window draws full upon
Your mind. There, just beyond
The sway of curtains, men walk.
Knowing something.
Going someplace.
But this time, I will simply
Stand and watch.

Maybe.

I have never really known you,
I only hear wonderful things
about your mark on the world.
Your influence on man-kind.
Though traces of you are still seen,
And I hope that we can meet in another life.

R.I.P. chivalry.

Two bodies couple
For love.
It's a duvet duet.

And then they sleep...

Two bodies compete
For warmth.
It's a duvet duel.

Why, why can't we just ask them how they feel,
let them explain what to them seems most real.
Why can't we just say: 'Hey, I kinda like you', without
a glance of pity in their eyes and remorse.

Then she  thinks of how I failed, how we failed
because I didn't follow the rules, the rules of love.
The love, like a soft spring breeze, it was definitely there
But ignorant as can be I just could not see, I never was aware.

You have to stay on that track
from time to time, looking back
maybe if I did this or that, it would have been
could have been, but never was.

And so it never led to more.

Once I hope to find a girl who doesn't,
doesn't care what others think.
Who has no need to follow the rules
together we'll walk aside the road.

Chemistry + timing does not equal love
You'll also need...

'Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"

Said A to B, "I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!"

"I disagree," said D to B,
"I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O."

C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape."

"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"
Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"
"You're dropping me," roared H to G.
"Don't do it please I pray."

"Out of my way," LL said to K.
"I'll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.

"U know," said V, "that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he."

X and Y yawned sleepily,
"Look at the time!" they said.
"Let's all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z."