A feeling of rage bubbled deep inside me
A volcano ready to explode
I did not even feel it coming out on surface
Throwing my vitriol on your face
It was so spontaneous
It was bubbling and accumulating for so long
Maybe it was all the stress of the mounds of responsibilities piling on
The feeling of time slipping through my fingers as if sand
The need to run constantly talking it's toll
Mistakes of past catching up to my present
Every moment a constant hard work to keep up with others
Now it seems as if the sleep has abondened me
For my sin against you
My own mind and body against me for the scathing attack
I am awake as the stars reach the clear sky and then go down
Pondering on my foolishness
Words of apology stuck to my tongue
Like a half forgotten language
Just there and yet not there

I felt so alone
As if there was bubble between me and the other
So close and yet so far away
Like a whole different world
It's so hard to keep on going
Like somebody is pulling down day by day
Any day could be last
But would it not be better
To let it go
To make the pain stop
To be at Peace
It hurts to be forgotten
Like being discarded
Not being whole
A hole in your chest that ***** away all your happiness
Like an opening to a void
And every day the idea of not pretending seems better
To tell everyone that I am broken
That everything is not ok
That if you listened I am actually screaming for help
But would they care
after all they already forgot once
Or do they even want to hear

Oh girl
Today I saw you
Looked like a dream come true
Princess out of a fairy tale
So beautiful so elegant
But I am sorry
That that's all I could see
That I could not see the scars
You were hiding
The pain in which you were drowning
The loneliness and suffering in your eyes
I am sorry that they were beyond me
Maybe I could have helped you
But I am sorry
That all I heard was what others were saying
The pics they were showing
And I too looked for a second the other way
Maybe I could have heard
Your silenced scream for help
Or seen the things from your view
Maybe I could have seen you fading and
drifting away from us
Maybe I could have helped
I am sorry that
all I could see was that you were beautiful

In the calm night
The rushing of the river
air breezing through trees
musicals flowing in the atmosphere
Everything seems pure and untouched
A slice of heaven
Just for us
Dancing along my friends
This darkness has a life of it's own
A pleasant feeling in the bones
Giving a warm welcome to all
This slice of heaven

Wind in my face
Music in my ear
Finally out of the long race
And enjoying the life for a moment
Is this called living?
Was I really just surviving?
I neither know nor care
All I want is this to keep going on
For my hair's to keep flying
For the roads to keep moving
This sudden freedom
Like a cage opened
being alone but not lonely
You keeping yourself company
All the burdens being lifted
Expectations forgotten
Feels like a new lease on life
Or just a new way to live
Everything a little bit more bright
More lively