Being told to take a deep breath
while drowning under water is like telling somone that's having a panic attack to stay calm.
When you do under water photography
with a full tank of oxygen you are told to only go down 100ft
After you go further than that your air begins to be compressed and you intake more oxygen
Thus leaving you 20 minutes before your supply of oxygen runs out and you're left 110ft down in the deep blue
You are asked not to panic if your oxygen valve is cut off
Stay calm
you can't breath
Stay calm
you just took a gulp of salt water
Stay calm
you've lost all feeling in your body
Stay calm
you're sinking
By all means stay calm
Now you can feel the bubbles in your vains
The very last supply of oxygen you have Trying to keep you alive
It leaves you feeling faint as if you're intoxicated
Well this isn't the high you were looking for
As a freshman in high school you're stressed out with the sudden new changes
More classes
More homework
Less friends
Less time
Getting up in the morning is a drag
You dare not look at your reflection because you know you'll only find someone who isn't you.
Walking the halls with weights on your chest flinching at the laughing group of girls
jumping at the bell
Aware of every sound around you, alarming you of any and all possible worse outcomes
You make it past your first two classes sitting alone at lunch
You can feel the stares
Compressed in your on bubble
The large crowd causing cold sweats
palms shaking
blurred vision
It's happening again
loss of balance
Everyone slows down
Your body is paralysed and you can't hear your own screams
You're told not to panic your body is in flight or fight mode
It'll only last 20 minutes
Stay calm
hands are being wrapped around your neck
Stay calm
you only lost control of your body
They told you not to pass 100ft now you have 20 minutes before your tank gives out
You only pushed yourself past the limit because you thought you'd be able to survive one lunch period without a panic attack
110ft below the ocean isnt that far you've only done this plenty of times
But 1 to many is all it takes to be proven wrong
You see anxiety isn't cute
It's not butterflies in your stomach
Not akwarrd litlle giggles
The reality is it's a demon or a shadow that follows your every move you can't run away from it because it'll only follow
It's there when you wake up its there when you sleep
It's there when you're trying to speak but your words get cut off
It's loosing all control in your body yet being aware of everything that's happening.
You can't hear your own screams but you know they're there.
Heart palpitations.
Your breathing becomes as fast as your heart rate.
You can't see the people staring but you know they're watching.
You don't blame them, you don't know how to stop it either.
Having a gun held to your chest and being told to run.
Being told your free while being locked in a cell.
Don't panic.
Stay calm.
"Anxiety, is that actually a thing?"
Anxiety is real
I say this with caution
why?
Because the society we live in forces us to pretend we're perfect even though we all know we are not
and if a "major flaw" such as anxiety evolves our life we shall not speak of it because you will be ridiculed and called unsettled or insane.
They'll scream at you and tell you not to have a pity party.
But all you ever wanted was a hand to lead you through.
You see it's not a social norm to have a disorder especially a mental one.
You're "normal" as long as you're indulged in studies and are focused on what college will accept you.
Friends enemies and acquaintances you must have a social life.
Its not right if you think its right to not worry what others perceive of you.
You have to spend time with your family and enjoy it
Or make time with your family and act is if you enjoy it.
Put a smile on as you walk the halls.
You wouldn't want to send negative vibes to your fellow classmates.
Laugh at some jokes but not all.
Even if you are overwhelmed in joy only show a percentage of it.
Don't show much emotion but don't show to little or your teacher may accuse you of being apathetic.
You can't make everyone happy.
You can't fit these rules because you have a little demon picking at you called anxiety. Study?
No.
More like shove as much information that you can into your head until you have a mental breakdown
You can't make friends because no one wants a friend who can't speak without stuttering.
Spending time with your family is a weight on your chest.
When will you inform them that their eldest child.
Whose supposed to be a role model, is slowly drifting away
becuase of an uninvited guest who forces themselves to stay
Getting out of bed and going through the motions of school is more of a chore being careful not to trigger any panic attacks. You're trying to be normal to meet societies standards and maybe your own but when will you be given a chance to not stand alone but to stand together with others.
Who are facing the same problem.
Because 20% of teens are suffering from an anxiety disorder.
You can question the standards because your life is at stake.
You can reach out in hopes that you'll receive a healing hand.
If only we can lower the black curtian we call 'normal' and accept the fact that not all fit this category.
I never knew 20 was such a common number.