I need someone
who reads me

Do I have to
read someone first?

******
That misses the point


Copyright@2019 Dennis Willis

regret is trending
tonight
while lost and afraid
are running neck and neck
really very close behind

heartbreak leads beauty's
appreciation by an artery
and life is so ******* me
is greasy on the page
curled metaphorically up

all doubtful
of our intentions
as we skip through
sliding on eyeballs
and wet afternoon air

they bunch up
into rhythmic herds
of black and white accusations
of our blindness and willful
numbness; well, us

You move within the sphere of consumption
I move within the sphere of assumption

This place of discomfort
between sips of wine
unbearable
though not my theme
tell me is it the end
or the beginning
of the day

isn't clear

between here
and still
can't see
after years
of looking
to see

are you there
i'm trying to see
to see you
i'm learning
to see you
here

i can never
see you here

this is an arm
around a lie
hold on
little brother
we walk
some boulevard
hands in our pockets
jauntily
thinking
we remember home
and can return
again and see mom
making coffee

I'm trying to feel good about this life
do you

If it's within a stricture of rules
doesn't count

'Cause that's all made up
by somebody

iss not arrogance to say
any system

any explanation we have
we made up

and it does not apply here
anymore than

saved up cheese will save you
from a knife

or darkness from lighting up
almost anything

I told you so is the big thing
you want

All these lies
Upon the wall

A well framed past
Now passed

This house
a crusted hulk

I half inhabit
like a pinball

Paddles in the hall
of family photos

Send me careening

Diego Rivera Callalillies
over the bed

Bounced out
Reversed and reversed

Red light on the DVR
recording someone's show

Stop

I remember her enthusiasm
for her show

miss that

breaking this


Copyright@2018 Dennis Willis

Nic's and cuts
Obtained
in my own head
I should stop
not scramble
about to heal

Of emotion
Roar thru this day

These new gaps
in my life

Places nothing matters
ever escapes

Circle each other
Like big time wrestlers

Throwing sparks
From clever costumes

And it's hard radiation
sleeting chest high


Copyright@2018 Dennis Willis

Time in darkness
is thinking
instead of experiencing

Don't fall
into the habit
of

continuously
reliving
negative experiences

only

it is the false safety
you crave
drawing you

if you must
think
relive your best

I like this manipulation
of time
we do

as if as if itself
was more
than a thought

and nothing
against
your breast

I've decided I'm just going to be
Openly in love
With your crazy beautiful self
What the ****
Even this much
Should not be

So that little moment
I'm going to talk about it
To myself
Over and over and over
Yeah
Yep
Yepper

I used to resent
That I am this simple
Now I Surrender
to the rent

Nuances of red
are everywhere
on everything
Coloring and
Discoloring
Filtering and
Or reflecting


My red ness
over your smile
souring it
unreal
Artifactual
I aver'
to dim ness


A light i am
To be off
lines cringing
submerge
beneath scattered about
shame
until i quiesce

I have a theory of angulation
which, when I learned this,
I had to look up

I want you cornered
because you're a round
thing and I like you edgy

whatever you are to me
dodgy and tenuous
slipping right past here

to some delicious awaiting thing
ready to leap upon
your delicate sensibilities

I cliche i cliche away the day
thinking I am thinking
not repeating some sine

a curve settles in to play
as if it was just another say
not bent not bending not

things are always ending
yes I know the corollary
shockingly more scary

what rhymes with nothing
on the next line
some something said

dropped
the thing

bent over
to pick it up

i recognized the
universal

in the oops
****

time
standing still

a pattern repeated
******* for a million years

I've been rewronged
again
of course

This world
these humans
I tell ya
they're everywhere

Picture them
blobs of emotion
hot spots, flare ups
cool places

Vibes whack

Set it still
Let it rise
as breath
fall as awe




Copyright@2019 Dennis Willis

She doesn't like to be talked to directly
It kind of freaks her out

If you do &
briefly
Look away

gone.

Next time
i'll be calm


Copyright@2018 Dennis Willis

The "write" button
resists my click
I've laid it on thick
10 times into
a satisfying click
I'm counting
you don't deeply
exist here
while there
I'm sure
you are 100 percent


you know
you
are not


therein
resistance
is hot

you scorch

it's dark in here with you
I thought you would
light it up just being here
I thought you would
revel

How will I not get eaten today?
Is what my fear asks
How will I get eaten today?
is what Rex asks
my day in the sway

Rex
and more Rex

Lonely, hungry,
thirsty, tired

Rex me alive

The rest
a tool

Rituals
Rex's rules
Rex's game

Avoid the disconnect
Rub your Rex's belly

Say you'll stop
thinking

the game
exists
without Rex

Face down in
wants up out

Ah skin
In the sun

Laying across
You basking



Copyright@2019 Dennis Willis

How is
the ribbon of time
stored?

When did it
unspool?

Can you not
see it

Curl
this way

then that

a fast
meandering

of showers
hungry mutts

do I
make this bed

in time
for bed

or pull it to order
with feet underneath

sheets and dogs
as grumbly weights

this time ride
my head thrown to the side

glimpsing you
celluloid hero

read feeler
at dawn

your eyes
should be closed

your head
thrown back

snorting arcane



Copyright@2018 Dennis Willis

Well
I am not staying
where things
make sense
Wait
What am I saying
What am I missing
I don't want them
to make sense
I want them
to wondrously
confound me
Lucy
Check

<my voice here
trying to be silent
arranging chairs>

Split your lip on this
sharper sensibility
bringing even your
fogged fog thic'r
where it counts
this feel we go for
thees reel we hope for
spooling along like a pony
yeehaw

restoration

yeehaw restoration

need that

I'll get up trim
and floss

early enough
to work sinew loose

set to righting

I have to set to
righting

right something

right

right right right

something

to breathe

These self actuated
"bags of mostly salt water"
imagine some really
astonishing things
you, for example
imagine me, writing
and I'm not anymore
imagine me, writhing

and I am anymore
'gainst what I imagine
plays these daily tricks
wherein I keep finding
its still me here 'gain
sayin' the same crazy
discolored things
to not be crazy
the same again

Write something at this sad hour to intent
write so mething and enjoy your elixirs
smile even at this thought a bit grimly
just write something non-existant
while -hopeless- being listenable

Write something rancid and runny
i really enjoyed that there
that will tickle a cunni
ngham kitten
i'm killing it here

Write something really revealing
unless its real ly boring
unless you can make boring
really really a knife of life eh
these incisions of clench
heart turns a wrench

Write something dark and happy
that will perk them up
in that bleak homeless shelter for joy
whacked on the head by its mom
fear is coming for you son
"can't go back there now"

Accept this sunny morning
This soft sweet air
This quiet rustling
of leaves

This unkempt stallion
of dawn rising
my hands rubbing
my beard awake

I've held still so long
I am unseen
as the Robins land
to commence hunting

I am one of a trillion lives
in my back yard
for the grand opening
of this singular day

I think we are all cheering
for the lightness
come to touch our skin
as one

i just shut my phone off
it's laying there off

am i unreachable
did i vanish

what are the risks
of this rashness

am i still
casting

is this a sea
am i a f ish

its open
to interpretation

and ours are
nonsense

at least that
is a certainty

and it's
still
off

Oh I love
watching
those lights
flash

things are
happening
I can see
the blinking

an intense
change
of pace
now breathless

writing the
worked it out
even betters
that we know

will make
everything
so much
again

The part of me rolled raw
on life's lately uneven surface

Loves the feeling of saying that

I am wounded hear me roar
Confusedly delicious as a life style

I keep running into this silly human
Less often, I think, I elbow me to the ground

Progress can be shorter spells of stupid


Copyright@2018 Dennis Willis

tHIS IS
i mUST sAY
sTUMbLING
cRUMbLING
aTTEMpTING
lOVE aTTEMpTING
lOVE aND nOT
eVEN eVEN
cLOSE cLOSE
lANDING uPsIDE
dOWN wRIGGLING
cAN yOU sEE
mE hELPLESS
sPINNING

its how the day starts
its how the night ends
its how the little slice
of nothing 'tween
all the somethings
detonates
in my side

that's when
You come to mind

you come to mind
all the time

its how i listen
its how i hope

i give you endless rope
nope

nope nope nope
okay
you
okay

This wiping
a hand rough to my face
ummph  it means what

I am mislead by skin
and i don't wish
it to stop

circling like hawks
bards reel in forgotten darkness
of don't care angst typing

her smile recedes pale dissolving into night
laughing at the comedy of manners
wrenchingly stupid judgments abound

glove their hosts and fix their mascara
unite the front of dubious choices
enforced by the disengenuos

Are you?
What

***
R u

N e
Way

R u
Mine

R u
Here

R u
238

I just don't know who
R u

N e
More

R u
Even

R u
Against me

If not
Get closer

Write up
Against me

Its
the heat

this life
rubbing

harder faster
look at me

see me live
all over this page

Ahhh


Copyright@2019 Dennis Willis

This alone is instructive
i expect

tip-toe here
'round reason

it explains
so much

falsely
i think you

into trouble
into my pain

then rip  you
out

frictions
invented

rule
my heart

I've two small dogs one of which
is snoring now near my table

R u glad
I have a fantasy
that I

You know
whoosh
and you aren't

the incantations
that don't work
mumble themselves
over my coffee

yours
die here
mine thrive
on 'em

sorry I squirm
rippling chicken
I am

Have you seen
our friend
the universe?

Been lookin'
for'im
'er, 't

I know this sounds silly
Because I mean it to
sound silly

Run


Copyright@2019 Dennis Willis

What about the way
I run myself
makes these
inebriants
necessary?

Not to mention
poetry
Totally not
necessary
right

I've been calculating my life
over rice
I've been percolating again
thank you
Against the grain making
grin (awkward)
I've been sublimating my life
now you see
I've been culminating all along
feel the rise
I am candilating my life
on the way
meaning surrenders
and making stuff up
puts down its tools

I'd like two ******* to go

I'd like skin against me

I'd like nothing so much

Adrift
in this horrible place

Whispers in
the dark

From there
I think
no, now it's from over hear

eyes
Did u c those eyes

crawling
right there

Buh buh
Biscuits and gravy

I wish
I wuz

What wuz
that

the infinite
number of things
to fear
multiply

as you stare

as do
the infinite
number of things
to love

Copyright@2019 Dennis Willis

So I'm saddled
With tomorrow
Ridden by forever

Following
General angst
Nervously

we wring
our hands
our meaning

present
is
everything


Copyright@2019 Dennis Willis

Today's emotional arc
and background
setting

Crashed on you

Gi-humungous-normous
Asteroid
Hits here

Leaves hole

It's encircling surprise
lifts stone
to shatter

The end


Copyright@2019 Dennis Willis

I can write
this poetry
of complaint

as if I had
a can of special
sad paint

This thirsty day
asks everything
asks deja vue
asks slaking
and I drown
in nothing at all
privately
I'm at a loss
which were you
on these bases
running

Sounds
As if something
Snuck in

Spouted off
An' left

Us all unknowing
Meaning

Look to our
Baggage and tickets

As if they existed
AND made sense

Mill about
Fumbly lines

Guessing
Poetry



Copyright@2018 Dennis Willis

I feel shallow today
uncertain as to why
or if I should buy
this view of my

Choices along the way
the thinness i sigh
life weakened by lie
this stew of so high

The life I write to say
against your thigh
blood hardened to nigh
ideas & salt to cry

So mostly I do this
write upon
same as you
And then I'll obscure my state
not to mention my actual
not knowing thas howsum
jes like yours
fold it back
like you do
consider
all the ings
and ain't they
ringing
to my distance

Let's take a different direction here
because this direction well

it hasn't paid off I don't think anyway
maybe this is about to be dreamy

and it is
really

dreamy like a cartoon hero
with cartoon lovers

smiling cartoon smiles
and the credits roll

under this typing
a keyboard

pulled from petroleum
probably, squeezed, formed, bored

with the formulaic way we fit
against everything we want

Unkempt words
and sounds
fearful and alone
find one another
in shallow sand
they mean to be
heard and held
mouthed over
and over and again

censored

And if  I wrote a poem
after death would I be
laughing laughing
over you