I want to tell you how serious I am
about this poetry
sip, drag

It is everything to me to have this
medium of meant
sip, drag

Chaired and fed popsicles I rant
left speaker right
sip, drag

It's as if I was flying a kite
skipping, light
sip, drag

And everything I said
was right
sip, drag

Before I turnout the light
on not right
sip, drag

I want you to know how
you fit in
sip, drag

Your conjectured
existence
sip, drag

Exhale the whole thing
understanding
and all

Is too much
can you turn it down

just a little
please

I know life jus' runs
at this pace

but, quiet, now, please
so I can breathe

I'm trying to feel good about this life
do you

If it's within a stricture of rules
doesn't count

'Cause that's all made up
by somebody

iss not arrogance to say
any system

any explanation we have
we made up

and it does not apply here
anymore than

saved up cheese will save you
from a knife

or darkness from lighting up
almost anything

I told you so is the big thing
you want

Here is a key
to my poetry

G

In the end
she's a stupid
church lady
who won't
get vaccinated

Let this liquor tell you
I don't care
Shield me

Mostly, it turns out,
From I don't know
I panicked

And wrote this down
so you would
save me

Will you save me
as I am empty
emptied out

Yes, I'm thinking about you
whom I won't have anything
to do with

You count me selfish
bent
sore loser

Yes
yes
yea

In this race, I lost
and pounded my fists
and cried, (still crying)

I rage against want
not want me
thaaaaaaat way

exploding things
across my vision
you know you **** well know

Parts of me are wailing
I cut them off
to live here with you
since I was born here
I didn't have much choice
Get along

Over time, as I became older
I realized how much
has been cut off
we have to accept
to be a part of home
gritting girls

What is boiling here
has always been boiling
against your dense
insulating narrative
in defense of which
you cannot feel

anything but righteous
a feeling I know I feel
when I am powerful
and wrong wronging
it's just that this was
something else it was
survival, just isn't anymore

I scrapped three or four
would be's
enroute to this be

I sit in belittlement
or be betterment
I cannnnnnnnnnnnt tell

if I'm better off
without her
as if

no words
i now 'member
will change this

Masterfully managed
to be alone again
doing what I'm good at

I'll just keep myself busy
same old indulgences
to keep me company

these deflating things
in my head and chest
**** hurricane

I have to win more battles
Do I? On a Thursday night?

I have to remove these socks
as my feet choose to overheat

I do have to drink more water
or the price is excruciating

I have to play this game
because it is in front of me

Being a man is not like
being a woman

As far as I can tell
they are glial

and we are being coaxed
into formation

thinking
we are thinking

pounding ourselves
senseless

did we get enuf
of that for you

It's tough to radiate energy
when your local medium buckles

there you are in your petri dish
suitably decorated or not

and you are glowing
and extending

when what you are in
wrinkles up

***
ikr

/

Where are these
I wonder
Holding my cheeks

And I'm a cherub
I realize
And I've found a way

To know
Even less
'Bout myself

I exploded
On the scene
And people mostly
Stepped around
The Goo

The affect of age
is depth I think
watching season 1, number 1 and even
after the unaired pilot
of The Beverly Hillbillies
born

The words in the lines
that meant nothing
at 10, 30, 50 's years ago
that were throw away dna
pull from my diaphragm
(I have never used that word before in my life I swear
and now my diaphragm hurts - lol - jk)
joy

let me set the scene
Jethro has a sister
played by a tall, I kid you not, strong
man in a dress
voiced by a girl
sung to, no ****

"ain't she large
in all directions"
by -I've lost track-
in dumbfoundednicity
"that's perfection
ain't she keen"

"the most I've ever seen
and I'm here to tell you
I'm her ding **** daddy
and she's my queen"
and I had no idea ever
this was even there

oh how they must have laughed
at the censors
and it still worked
and the shock now
of seeing performers
speaking out

so artfully in protest
is mesmerizing
in its loud invisibility
really curious
what now I cannot
"crumpet? No, Clampett"

Here, in this silence,
of no one around
I address absence

Turn up the tv
have a drink
flip thru channels again

check on the dogs
change where I'm sitting
scroll thru the news

if you were here
would it be
any different

I've been alone
and alone
with others

Which desperation
wishing you were gone
wishing you were here

smashes me more
I don't know
sitting in smithereens

I keep writing
stop me
at least
for tonight

I'll get another drink
Is the answer

The question you ask
penetrating

And you are happy
smug even

At the quiet knife
you aren't throwing

it holds assailment
thinly

I am carved again
can't hear

You talk softly
of happy

Oh anger I know you
reasonless

and so I drink
deeply

This distance
how far is it
between us now

How far do
my entrails stretch
in your hands

As you examine
so coldly
my  failings

You are
of course
right

Its just
the price
is wrong

You charge
every thing
exhaustively

Your great skill
constantly
misapplied

to death
the reasons
we should be

There is a roughness
I abhor
that is in me
as if my muse
could kick
your muse's ***
I divert
from darkness
poetic eh

held here
I invoke
all my distractions
exhale
check my phone
put my glass
down
pick it back up

and then I
get a text
reprise i say
I'm certain I know
what that means
and works here
shut my mouth

and she flirts
this is in situ
during the excavation
by a dog digging
and she listens
to my tune
could I be
found

I have to talk to you
about my relationship
problem
all you people ****
and not just a little bit
you **** horrifically
I wish I could stop laughing
No I don't
No I really don't

Sincerity for rent or purchase
Authenticity is behind the counter

I just discovered it's Thursday
way way better

On Wednesday I did this
and for that I'm grateful and happy

I hate that there's all this good poetry you can read
and not this crap

There is a limit as to what I'll public
however it's probably past yours

I too am aghast
it won't last

You move within the sphere of consumption
I move within the sphere of assumption

So I thought I didn't want to
and then I did want to

I'm just a man
glaring at emptiness
gathered up
in these rooms
the gears of engagement
gnashed

the calculations of coffee
and cream and cinnamon
round off and sip slowly
round the lucky tongue
should i make another one

dizzying numbers and
numbers of things move
a trillion beings splashed
gasp in delight, smack
would be lips together

things add up amplitude
modification by bird song
with dog barks
and car door closings all
setting their own volume

the average cell in my body
is above average it thinks
the uncountable me's
all counting their votes
yield up a molecule of smile

You and I disagree
on this

and I can't tell
if you're wrong

I can't tell
anything

I suspect
dain bramage

Caused by
brains

These *******
are out

to get
me

This is endless
no

This is all of me
trying

not to
end

endlessly
endlessly

i read the news

oh, <flame>,  out
shockingly

Calculating my years left

pushups tomorrow

poetry and poison
tonight

Tears and the slaughter
of sobriety
Things forced into cracks
and thunderizations

That and a hammer

knock knock

Do you employ
thought constructs

North of the border

clambering over
things

darkened with salt

when one is empty

and drinks from the other

I am drawn in again
in a story again
being explained

again

hang on while I

reposition all of your
assertions

ummph, there, better, right

This lantern I've been given
doesn't light up for ****
maybe next time it
sputters alight
that glimpse
will make all things clear

I think I will be whole
when it shines a circle
not these angular draws
where I seem to be shadow
with light in my eyes
thru water prisms

The panic part of light
just out of reach
hands full round
what I cannot see
sometimes a keyboard
retching dark chars

Cagey stuff
recirculating itself
as if I am a theatre
and absurd lights
that lead to the stage
in case of fire

Having been assiduously
convinced
of how this all works

and have the years reveal
a thin covering
stretched and ill fitting

powerless & inept
a laughable game
without fun

there are the subscribers
& the purveyors
of how all this works

The assiduous entrainment
of others a taste
you crave

Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah

Blah Blah Blah Blah

drooling

over the object

of your belief structure

blah blah blah

your coolness

is unheatable

I hesitate to approach this moment
of landmines
and disbelief

experience is stretched
and I've been ended
before

acceptance, have you any
i fear the narrows
as if

knowing the rules is any
different than being
lied to

in a well organized
and clear manner
again

there are moments
I would hand you
of her

could your humanity
this thing that hears you
fitting

fitting fitting fitting
into this this what
they say

oh i hesitate to discern
at this distance
if you

could be trusted with this
untoward collision
we wanted

this open for viewing
and enjoying
like this

you can do anything
you like
to me

I took seven syllables hostage
in front of the entire sentence
I was brutal
they allocuted
it was choppy

I don't know how to go there
I say knowing how to go there
something spurts out
in a slow wave
clinking along

In our nonsensical carriage
dreaming of paths or naught
all this echo
of a texture
saying something

If i drive it right over there
does there suffer much
so don't push it
i often think
slipping between

This place of discomfort
between sips of wine
unbearable
though not my theme
tell me is it the end
or the beginning
of the day

isn't clear

between here
and still
can't see
after years
of looking
to see

are you there
i'm trying to see
to see you
i'm learning
to see you
here

i can never
see you here

this is an arm
around a lie
hold on
little brother
we walk
some boulevard
hands in our pockets
jauntily
thinking
we remember home
and can return
again and see mom
making coffee

Counted 94 reads
why does that make
me so happy

All agreeing
597999
are wrong
bless me
oh ****
there's
one more

****
too late

this boys
on fire

What waits
in that head of yours
for freedom

what are
your bonds
or who

stretch something
here
more than

this disguised
convalescing
maybe

I'm a
force
of life

I realize I am no longer
a guy writing poetry
now I'm a poet talking
which is an admission
of a surrender
I just discovered
I made

This thought
flung your way
poets
flinging poo
still
wanting applause
aping for it
and I'm okay
with my
stinking
throw

Do you know that edge
when you cross
inebriation
a rising that tis a falling

and asks for happy reminders
as it falls
to say
isn't that pretty

while sinking
in tv quicksand
wailing for a branch
or a loop of rope

Nothing you run into
is as deep as me
and I can only
be stumbled upon

in ignorance
you fall upon me
like a devil
on an innocent

feast if you can
on this crumble
on this crack
in a wall of next

this is the hunger
propping you up
to see
to see that that me

fully scratched
open and bleeding
giving up
my life to you

don't
******
squander
it

Just a body
wanting to be rubbed
lyrically