I don't care
if you cry
for me
I don't
for you

I have no meaning
and I just wanted
to say thank you
for that

You're convinced
they did something to you

You're convinced
You ate a sandwich

It's the speed of light
that tells all the lies

Reacts angrily
to darkness' edge

Convinces all of us
that daylight

Illuminates something
if you have good coffee

I am under the standing
of your legs

And that darkness sought
before light explodes

So there must be no more poems
and no more games
an no more daylight full
of expectations to dodge
So there must be no more pointed
existence
on the way but on delay

you are held back being me I am
whilst I finish
open
and then closed off

muted from all but
physically here
nah nah na nah nah
I'm safe

sorry I ran out on you
there
I can't take the heat
of yer imagined opprobrium

my dog looks away
when I ask

the sky should be

I am the interval
like that between
single tasty notes
on your fav
I am the interval
between you
and your sounding
for your own fav
in your sea
uncertain
that you even have one
I am the interval
skipt
hastily
that "lava" again lol
flowing glowing
close your eyes
see rivulets of burn
feel the infrared
jump
I am the interval
the step down unit
for your mouse self
'at wants ascension
back here
I am the interval
that is the basic
"that's different"
darkly drawn
so that looks lit
take a sip
my dark nub
rubs most out
I am only the in-between
certain
like a hard tool
I am the interval
I create
to infinitely delay
undelayable
nope not gonna
go there

When I invented you
a moment ago
you were
a thoughtful reader
open to what seeks
to come through
these scratched lines
now you've become
a prejudiced critic
looking only
for your flavor

I'm giving lessons
in taking lessons
I'm lecturing
on listening
I'm telling everyone
I know
about solitude
and how I just
want to be
left alone
whilst secretly hoping
you'll ignore
my protestations
and keep me company
while I'm something
like fake grumpiness
going on and on about being
another thing
like real happiness
that I don't trust

the sound "ound"
hounds me
since it found me
it stays around me
it and its friends
are out to drownd me
i digress
back to wound
it confounds me

This day rolled and breaded
in dried loneliness
with a pinch of salt
on a rim

Filled with screens and chats
these thin reachings
and easy feelings
living whim

In some disconnected state
air gapped by miles
from the source

I rekindle independence
self reliance
stuff done alone

as its that time again
losing an almost home
I am out standing

Am I a poet
or a publisher
of inner demons
a fire groomer
a flood channeler
a flag raiser
for inner collapse
a grinner
for inner suffusement
a reteller of never said
a printer of listening
a this of that
or just a sound
hoping to go round

wonh-wonh
is the sound
of things

you expected
an adjective
there

some qualifier
limiting
apt

wonh-wonh

to what sublime
anode release
drawn

does current
does it come
back around

after it has
run off
to ground

Pull a vibe together
I think
Closing my eyes
Calling up
a frequency
with my skin
redness in this
darkness
picture a rolling
unfolding          
I can't tho
I find silence
except the dog
is quietly snoring
and this alone
reglues me

The I love you's
pendants of doubt
what's cold
as you grip yourself
these scratches
mean nothing
I'm held
just not enuf

I'll shut up now
I won't shut up now
I'll shut up now
I won't shut up now
I'll be nice to myself
instead oh shut up

I have left detritus
for future generations
there's this background
that isn't human
human once removed
which isn't enuf

reconnecting to
the universe
waiting for the commercial
to end

Leaning back
in my chair
on elbow
on an arm
arching my back
till a crack

Babe
Baby
Bunny
Boo
I"ll be
Please
Can I
be
Puh puh
lease
biaaa
beautiful

These inkings
like standing
in front of time

with your fist
you know what
squeeze it hot

play a melody
raise your hand
take the darkness in

night apparent
and sentient
listens like hell

I could empty my freezer
and find you amongst the thawing

still freezing and helping out
the frozen spaghetti and meatballs

stay cool and weather this one out
while you duck salt

There's this level of buzz
where the editor just crashes
and I am left hehe hehe

I hate my narrowing mind
its assertive exclusions
and your apparent distastefulness

I'm sure you resemble the outside
of something turned inside out
try not to take this hatred personal

I certainly don't mean anything by this
as I work to rectify the universe's mistakes
with thermonuclear blank verse

I don't know if I'm singing at all
I got thanked for talking someone
out of suicide today, or at least the threat
and I'd like to spin a self mythology

So I hunker down, focus, crowd up to
this vague edge in this vague direction
I'll reach past pandering for the dark band
and I reach my hand in

This frightens me, no it doesn't, yes it does
I feel for the imaginary bulb of darkness
I could unscrew it or tighten it or smash it
or I could just write about it

This slippery thing
rubbing up against
not quite now

such anticipation
in this kind of here
past 5pm

and reaching for
anything almost
to fill this absence

of interest
in me
by [see list]

so let the games
begin


half filled lines
wait
for attention

the kind of rhythm you seek
not that loving that's weak

let's you run
let's you stand
let's you dance
let's you writhe
in a trance

You keep wanging
**** **** ****
away away at it all
and then stumble back

this beaten earth roils
in red clay sluices
you would have
my gold wouldn't you

shallow traps and gullies
work together to wash
and hold me still
when I would wreak

oh I would wreak
on all of you something
that would leave  you feeling
you'd gotten it

and just wouldn't believe
what you held in your hands
and then I must stop
'cause I don't know

What are the warning signs
to happiness

It needs to all
come crashing
down
Doesn't It

My body doesn't care
What my mind has to say
To be touched by you

We are a walking ocean
carrying tides
and crowded shores
what does an ocean
seek?

"That's not how any of this works."
-some commercial

As I am running my life
I expect someone to come up to me
and say that

well, again

Fewer reads
is good right?

I'm going to time things
so you'll all see
and then I'll show you
what for

Laughing at oneself
often
so as not to be serious
and get angry
Works better

Just financed drinks
for the suicidal
it buys time
which is medicinal
I'm taking some now
as a supplement
or did I mean
something just then
a purchase
less precarious than
before and yet I know
this soul
and she will scrabble back
and I will answer until
the laughter
arrives

The product of a moment
open eyes
I have
so many more
to open

See if you can go a minute
without having an opinion
which are turnings-away
and self inflationary strokes

Take both hands
and grip your ***
firmly

Feel that
that's you
the real you

it's probably
sitting
comfortably

it's likely
you've a drink
within reach

while you read
this this
poetry

breathe, look around
at here now
so small

to hold all
and yet
here we are

all that stuff
in your head
is imaginary

if you focus
on here and now
it disappears

Oh, look at me
what I've got
hah

Every living thing
singing
lah

Picture a human
seated at a table
in the background
news plays on a tv
you know the stories
I cannot watch
I cry (sometimes in happiness)
all these loops
there's space
here
too much
flows in
you are not here
no one else is here
I waver
above the background
things crash in me
have no business here
I am their battleground
they believe
if I believe
I believe
they will get old
and die
If only their
shrill beliefs
would
burn with them

Me and
this package
of oyster crackers
are out for a good time
hoping
for a passionate
tearing open
and a hot wet
dunking
before
being engulfed
and swallowed

You
so hungry
for the edge
or that
which fills
halt
mid sandwich
your
consumption
of this
deflection
you smell
human

Let's say
I'm aware of you
and the small distance
you will go today

did you have dinner
was it neatly done
and put away
cleared

did you wonder
what shall I do
with this quiet
that owns me

tonight again
and that I'll do
tomorrow
I think maybe

and cinnamon
for my toast
and almond butter
for my coffee

and you oh you
you are for my body
because it aches
literally for read

In what direction
do I pursue you
when I am certain
of how it will feel

where am i when
i don't see you and
you don't see me
only later we

and oh I wish
I'd known
I'd noticed then
I'd been noticed

Look this is empty
you are thinking
and continue on

You are never
just a poem away
from anything
even tho you think
this one will
do the trick

When I give up on these keys
the feel of my desk haunts
the tips of my fingers
as they slide along
the small margin
left open
b4
You know that I'm waiting for you
and I know you won't ever
and this is a pattern
of my hopeless
approach
to heart
b8

All the way up
All the way up
is a fairy tale
is a night for sale

All the way up
in disbelief
All the way up
coming grief

It's a pinnacle
of *****
This airy thing
being brief

Or any belief
unheld
broken welds
silly thief

All the way down
is where I came from
you might recognize
the scenery

Can barely sit up
been pouring
all evening

For this
point of things
to become

balanced
the "slings and arrows"
offset

By the burrowing
in
of some verse

Under the guise
of brilliant
numbness

I elect you
to carry on
non

To see such joy on your face
that was a good purchase

I am mentally trying
to crush your life
I hope to ****
its working