if a woman wants to see you
you have to find her

and then
all of a sudden
it becomes an invisible part of the past
in which you don't exist

Blessed with a broad grin & a dance that commands attention!
Spit into the well and see the ripple
The swirl
The flowing skirt
Cool breeze & flower petals saved and dried with the lucky coin in the lucky box wrapped in sage green velvet
Gecko squeals and spiders weep as dance shines at midnight with moss under bare feet & mushrooms glowing in the dark sky
Tingling feet like sherbet on a soft serve at the country fair
See the fairy lights?
They're shining

we're all caught in the prison

I'm gunna drink until I can't drink any more
I'm gunna wallow in the bull$hit that makes me mad
All of it
F<ck the gratitude
I'm goin' straight in for hate tonight
Spill it
****t it
Tongue in cheek it
With pursed lips and squinted eyes

silhouette in the dark
the orange tree was plump
smell the sweet

I don't know what to say other than I'm glad to be back.
I've been wondering what I did with my time.
Then I realised I was writing.
Writing it all down.
So.
Here I am.
Back on the black board.
Rub it off?
Leave it there.
whateva
But.
Here we go.
Again.

:-)

i thought i had an appointment tomorrow
i didn't get a txt to confirm

I realise that my delusions are far more pleasurable than my reality.
So I'm going to hang on to my delusions
And live them every single day.

It's feeling' a bit like a Gary Clark Jr. night tonight.

My train's pulling' in
& I don't owe you a thang baby

this music sets me free

.

ya know Trish?
i've been feelin'  f.ck..g  GREAT lately
& ya know what else Trish?
it's  f.ck..g  awesome!

lost in the woods
banging into dust and earth
looking for the way out
breathing isn't a priority

Trish. Grab my hand!
.

..
& hold it
to your heart
in the key
of G
..

& for those of you who like to read more.....

..
the key of G is warm
like toast & jam
holding space
is like chilli
& ice

Scream.
silently
in the breath of the one who knows
& feels
just like you
..

.
out!
.

.
You are significant
Crucial and necessary to bind the balance
Of dignity and the intangible
.

i feel my words (i hear my soul)
it is a warmth that
heals me

....

i look in the mirror and i don't mind what i see
but sometimes
i just can't take that sideways glance
just in case i see the monster
that's always on my shoulder

....

It's a Nina Simone kinda' night tonight
Everything is plas
tic
isn't it a pity
It's 3:30am
& the gin
just kicked in

....
First Person
Is it the jazz that soothes your soul
Or the thought of him thinking of you
In the silence of his personal time

Second Person
It is both but some, a knowing delusion
The jazz fills the want
The thought
Fills the desire

First Person
What if everything was real

Second Person
Everything is real
The jazz
The thought
Breath on my neck
Warm like my own blood
Head reeling & slowly....

delusion

How can you possibly....
Why?
I

...
my eyes
are being plucked out

by the AI in the sky
...

i need tea

why are the burnt bits always so

tasty

....

.
Brubeck &
Daffy Duck
.

.
good question
.

i talk to myself and i say
"No.  I'm not coping!"
i talk to myself and it's
Audible     Screaming     Whispers
part of my soul is dying
my umbilical cord is rotting
disgusting filthy raw meat festering
Beware the psychological trap
made of tungsten chromium titanium &

Diamond Doors


....

It's ok to be scared.
and it's ok to be mortified humiliated and
is there a word for that?
Rub your eyes.
cry and be angry and

Be.

it's just raw

forgive me for who i am

it's a pandemic panic
i'm just hanging out & listening to
Anderson . Paak
what about you?
i've got the red cabbage & brussels sprouts roasting in the oven
with a little salt and pepper & olive oil
it's going on in my house
dancing  in the kitchen
the heater's on
no one's f*ing with me tonight
what about you?




.....

"It was my sister." She said, after losing her mind.
"Sister sibling." I said.
I smiled.
And so did she.

i sit and i try to eat and i sleep and i drink and i think and i look at my feet and i can't help but shake up my
soul
i listen to music and i dance and i cook and i tap my fingers on the table and i look at my nails and don't eat the
food
i sing and i sing in harmony to myself and the sound on the radio it's old school and it's new school and it's good and it's bad but when it's good it's pure and
warm
it's winter so the heaters on and the slippers are snug and the gin is spicy and cooling and hitting the spot in the full moon no moon dark and
light
i think of the love that isn't and the love that is never found and the love that is and the love that just
isn't
i've got the music in my head and the lyrics in my head and the words repeating all at the same time singing speaking thinking and it's all
silence
the owl is still and the orange tree is still and the tree of life itself is still and the beat repeats repeats repeats
re re re r r (glitch)
repeats


....

i wanted a solid ground
but i don't have one
so i dance on my feet lightly
with absolute passion

i can't believe the perjury that's going down
i'm in Gotham City and the bad guy's got us all locked up
he's in the sky with all of our kids
all of them
chained up
and he's smiling smugly as he hugs them
tight
he's removing the innocence
removing the freedom
very very fast
bit - by - bit
very fast
yesterday i walked in the street and spent my dollars
yesterday my child
danced
innocent
now my child can't dance
now i can't walk in the street
i can't spend my dollars
my child can't speak
i can't speak
we're ******* and gagged
i don't know about you but
i like to think freely
and i like my child
dancing
innocent
and thinking freely
now
we can't
this
my friends
is a concern
Where is batman?

....

i know there are a whole lot of rules and regulations when you write - poetry
but blow it all out the window
and write like no one will ever read it

i walked in to my house and breathed an Adonic perfume
it was purely
old dying flowers
An answer to the question
i saw illuminance in the heavens
i looked out my back door and saw
drive in movies social distancing
An answer to the question
i could hear a great chorus
it was john butler
swaggin' in ochre red dirt
An answer to the question
freedom.
Freedom
i saw a goblet full of colour from a profound fruit descendant from the rose
it was wine
bargain basement
An answer to the question
one eyebrow ascended to the left
only one
and a slight grin to the right
An answer to the question
Freedom.
it can be simple
it can be hard

i like it elementary

with a broad smile at the end
.....