Deanna

Deanna May 2015

Simplicity is missing a physical object
something concrete, felt with the hands
But what is missing an abstract concept?
Possibility, felt with the heart?

Because I have felt him in my hands
Because I have known him as my friend
And as a result I miss him
in a way that makes total sense
And as a result I miss him
in a way I cannot explain

Because I miss the tension in the air
the gravity pulling us together
the fear that we might suddenly kiss
the excitement that we might suddenly kiss
I miss the infinite possibilities
tangled strings tied between us
I miss glancing at him
to find him glancing at me

I could say that I miss him
but that would be so incomplete.

#***

Deanna May 2015

...

He wonders if she has longed as long as he has longed.

Deanna May 2015

the thing is

well
alright
so, the thing you have to understand is
I can't think straight
the thinking thing the thing
is
what
happens if I can't think straight
I can't think
I can't
well
I can't
well
I can't think of anything
but you
what happens if I can't
think
of anything
but you
so
I mean well
the thing is
the thing you absolutely
have to
understand is
I'm terrified of commitment
so
when I say this I mean
you'll know what I mean
the thing is
what if I
what if you have to understand
the thing is
I'm afraid to even say it
write it
type it
think it
commitment

the thing is
I'm terrified
and I can't think
because I can't think of anything but you
and I'm terrified of commitment
of you
but you
the thing is
what if
I fall in love with you
and I'm terrified
of you
the thing is
what if
you fall in love with me
the thing is
what if
what happens
is
the thing
that happens
is
I fall in love with you
and
you fall in love with me

afraid to even write it
think it
feel it
live it
commitment

#love #fear #*** #commitment

Deanna May 2015

sometimes galaxies collide

this waltz is instinctual
our bodies
collision course

and all I can do
is pay attention to you
so how did you suddenly get closer?
But my leg moves an inch to the left
your gravity
pulling me
laughing at your stupid jokes

Our minds screaming
our timing is terrible
but instincts can't listen
and isn't it telling
we have the same waltz
collision course

last minute
evasive maneuver
you're leaving to sleep
and how do I explain
that we both want you to stay?
But it isn't liked our fates have changed
merely delayed
gravitational instincts too strong
this waltz ingrained
collision course
and the steering wheel's busted.

everything I write lately is super free verse. I like the concepts and some of the language, but most of my recent pieces feel like rough drafts. I might completely rework this concept one day.

#***

Deanna Apr 2015

detergent

I left this t shirt
at your place
and when you returned it
you told me
you washed it

and today
I went to put it away
and the scent
sliced through my memory
because it smells
just a little like you

and it isn't that I miss you
but I guess
a piece of me
does

Mar 2015

Jenni

You Are Stone (Pt. 1)

I am not strong
But no one must know
Weakness I must never show
I must be rock
I must be stone
Any time I'm not alone

Is that emotion?
Did you just feel?
Cover up
Conceal
Conceal
Leave no signs
Leave no trace
Stony, vacant, deadpan face

Don't bring a jacket
You feel no cold
You feel nothing
You are stone

You're not afraid or insecure
Save that for when you're alone
Until you shut your bedroom door
You are stone, you are stone

Skin will tear
And hearts will break
And even human bone
I'm not allowed to be that weak
So I must become stone

Strike me
Kick me
Denigrate me
This much I will condone
Despite all your best efforts
You cannot injure stone

Strong I'm not
But I won't tell
I'll never let it show

Someone might misunderstand
And think I'm flesh and bone

They may think I'm a person
But I'm not
*I'm only stone

Deanna Mar 2015

I am smaller than Humanity's problems.

We want peace but
we can't stop the war
Everyone is fighting
no one knows what for
But I am so small
I am a candle
floating around in space
I crave a little less
darkness in this place
But I am so small
There are two people
by their own hands dead
And everyone else
demons in their head
But I am so small

this is the beginning of what I intend to be a much longer piece. Meant for spoken word, but most of my poems are.