Twenty two years I made it I survived
Sometimes back in nineteen ninety eight I wish I died
Every year I see more clear where we steer
Those at the helm speak and all I hear is fear

Hope couldn't cope so he did dope went to sleep never to be woke
Hopeless and could care less I have to confess I'm broke
Light pockets and a heavy heart as a child torn apart, ****
Light at the end of the tunnel but the caves end is dark

American raised told "not even the sky's the limit"
Eatin rice and pain I just cant feel it
"all the dreams yours the greatest ever" how they sell it
Hope for the future, for better days, its sold for profit

American raised so I party my life away
Drugs and rock'n roll keep reality away
Movin forward when I stop forever I lay
In dirt debts catch me and I cant pay

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The gold and quicksilver flow upriver
Cold metal acts like water and shimmers
Amalgams come out in slivers, solid no quiver
Seepin into drinkin supply taintin livers
Curin life within daily doses part from life like moses
No one wants it, but strange forces have their enforcers
Pinkerton police, business moguls, and media sorcerers
While you curl up on your comforter
Meandering over boo hoos, poor me
Cant afford to treat your dying grandmother
Pressure creeps on your back, feeling smothered?
Smother her or lose your future

I've been dead inside don't even care if life gets better
Even if problems were set aside I know I wouldn't get better
Even these poems are just the dregs of someone I don't remember
Someone who cant feel attached not a spark to be found on tinder
I have drowned underwater below the sea and all I do is flounder
Sometimes I keep goin hoping that one day I'll have found her
Then somehow I might hold on and escape this water
Until then LSD gives it all a little color

Drugs make fake emotion like swells in this ocean
So don't mind me when I mix up a potion
Just need something to imitate passion
Something to slow the corrosion
Never touched a drug for the fashion
Just needed the chemical compassion
So when I come round the dealer cashes in

Hey can you just lay off
You aint my boss
So can you just lay off
Aint my fault we all laid off

Just sipping on some gin an juice laying around the couch
Just getting on the loose Letting it all hang loose
Last night phone rang now it hang loose

Roaches crawling out the ashtray
On the ceiling I watch them stray
What I'm saying is I cant stay
When Im leaving I cant say

One of these days though gonna go
Cop a few of those property's on the low
But cops might ******* away if I flow
About how the pig ***** gotta go

And Im sorry your laid off
At a loss without a boss
Really should of told him to *******
Even if it aint his fault we all laid off

I am a crutch left to get dusty in the attic
Its a crutch abused some might say an addict
I get used up all night and I just let it
So come day I'm empty an quiet

Who cares if you exist if all you've ever done is subsist
The stars were deaf to each wish too far gone in the cosmic
The liars left in the breach of void and ozone lost in a deposit
Beggar bereft nothing left said "Soon its all gone, don't forget it"
Sands shift castles built brick by brick torn down in a second
Sink quick if you let it **** you down but its not the intent
Just the nature of life its sick and quick soon your heaven sent

I want to die and I've never been known to lie
I want to cry but my eyes are dryer than a sunny day
I want to fly just say goodbye probably do it by Friday
I've been asked why got no answer but here I lie
I've been burnt to ash  addiction not the answer it gets in the way
I've been turnt from cash an corruption for benediction I pray
I say "we can do this" even though I'm about to lose it
I say "Its all okay" even when there's no good news on the way
I say "I wanna die" even if the times are good I can't lie