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David Zavala Nov 2018
in San Francisco
It's not
clouds I Denton, Texas, Co-Ops -
mat(Oh my)ter alone again,

Yes   I'm
         I'm inside a art house            I suppose            
Can't      the country of
    China? -  god -  We
Coke Blues
                     eternity painting
        Mother

Sometimes Conceptual Space

       are brighter
                   I
                                     century
poor,
          variate
along
Your mac will sleep soonish

         home

theaters, It's  
      
a fact.
will be coming home soon.
It's not condescending.

Names are boring, sweet brooks, Chinese restaurants.
(a car crashed)
David Zavala Nov 2018
He's chasing fame of
course. San Francisco.

The stone buildings symbolized nothing.

The dead old
car had a flat tire.

He entered an empty house with

empty flower pots and windows.

He slid down the hill carrying
a shovel. There was a white flower shrub.

Piles of great
sticks lay down trodden.
He stopped, anticipated a karate chop, she was gorgeous, had
short hair and was near a brick on the ledge, luxury
was a cost, an empty bowl was blue, cereal was stolen.
Fraudulent downtown was court houses, his cigarette was
the wall. A fridge was a red topped tableware silverware with clothes stirred in
a chair faced backwards - you're inferring!
David Zavala Nov 2018
The argument from both sides,
the work, the wiring, the way

to your permanent exhibit,

you book-carrying pretentious book-carrier, we together hold the love of
life inside
     of you
      and the dove  
              that is screaming
                      and won’t let you go when she asks you not to,
don’t, it is not worth it,

You are still Paul Bunyan,
learning,

You don’t need their approval, work in the morning?
A train to a suburban home,
white picket fence and two car garages
you’re on your way to it, I guarantee you.
David Zavala Nov 2018
Be alive!
Court is a leaf
John Lewis is a thought
A mother is ugly
Alive was a leaf.
In front of the Alamo
I don't work, yet we remained ugly.
David Zavala Nov 2018
Reed College at 5am,
Women, are you angelic?
I think so too.

"Everywhere leave Philadelphia,
   My computer doesn't work,
       At 5am I woke up and realized,
           I'm using someone else's voice, keep me out of trouble,
  Everyone had the same dream, you see? This place is awkward, no one to walk with today, football fields are women news reporters, on the news, keep me awake, quiet."
David Zavala Nov 2018
Downtown in San Antonio
sat three blind mice
dressed
in ponchos and Spanish dresses
Black rights periods. We
take an RV to another
city, it is hot, it is terribly hot and not NOT small, I am being mean, rude, and sarcastic I want more and less is what you gave me. It costs 250 dollars more. I should be at actually Harvard University I am happy those ends of sentences. Less though than
in Argentina.

Fiji was nice and had waterfalls, there were
tables near the beach. I once knew him too. What do you want? You decide? They’re on Facebook, there. Okay so now the rest of this sentence isn’t needed.

Here, let me continue:

- With valor we
uncrippled the image of time and arrived
at a trashcan painted with a yellow stripe.
Whole families - really only a single boy on
the ground in a red sweater surrounded by
filth - saying do better - I do! Little boy
I do care for your heath. He was gorgeous.
She sat down looking at a piece of plastic
- a horse - and we smiled. We woke and focused
on the microwave. The stove was nice. I was loud.
The switch on the wall hurt. The Queen Bee in the
store lost my money. He was tall. She was handsome.
I don't like Burroughs. At 44 I never grew up.

We looked back in the mirror - saw ourselves
And passed a muslim woman - the mountains were large
In another movie he died so in this poem he'll be pink
and will hold his arms out to men - ironic before me
asking myself how the white clouds which reflect the
green grass could juxtapose my middle-class house.
Your shoes were Asiscs - the expensive malls were mysterious.
We were young and left the better for a three story
building in Miami - but I enjoyed it. The people in
San Francisco weren't nice, but I remember playing guitar
in a corner by myself. The hostel and the flowers, I took a
picture on the third floor when I arrived. And David
why did he lick his lips? I was enamored by the magazines
offered by the U.S. mailbox - HEB produce - my sad face -
mother why can't you see? "In the backseat" is a
mountain less window with pictures on the wall and chairs I
sit on, books to my right, camera in front, reefs above
the chimney, and tons of tokens, from all the places we've
visited. Outside the wind blows. Months passed windowless parks.
Little homes made of puzzles and angels.

Be silent yellow-legged hippie, sandals on beach, yellow book
of pianos. I thought we were modern? Wrapped in blankets, blondes,
unshaven with my wrist watch on John Cage says he's frightened by old ideas so we push the envelope forward. You an artist damp sheet synapse connecting me to millionaires. Old bird houses and streets canary to birthday parties. We walked alone in the desert, sandy rocks and tumbleweed - a home theater - from Mexico to America. We were loveless so we decided to take a plane to Fiji. The plastic on the trees, snakes under rocks, loud sound of Darfur! We were models with beers cans on the walls, shelves, broken light fixtures, paintings of two, empty baskets, bar stools, doorways to our room. An interlude! My sister eating cake, I swear! It's a cubist painting! A cubist painting! Look at the geometry on the walls - so complex. Our tools were our background, the sky was empty, it needed more color I said walking through the university, "I need a big gallon of water and a lot of money." "Can you protect me?" I certainly can't - I laughed.

Are we ignorant or is Argentina *****?
The dirt on the ground, flag-blue and white,
the walls that border the sheet lights
white wedding gowns, candles lit to my
blessed Mars, every scene is an image
of death I tell you in Allen's voice! I
could write essays about each scene! Poor
woman standing outside red building with a
slightly open window in Argentina. A medium
to Neil Postman - the message is you!

The fire sits behind the phone booth.
An old lady in a grey sweater
"why would you take me here?"
(My apartment)

The pinatera in Austin,
colorless skyrockets in bright blues
A promise made to fold the sheets. . . . .
David Zavala Nov 2018
Let me have some level of decency
                                   While I go mad again
In a coffee shop in Austin, Tx.
May 4th 2018, coffee in hand
                  / Mexican restaurant, chips, salsa,
expand – “Son he’s hard” I heard at
coffee shop, thought of Zavala Elementary
school, then my apartment where I’ll
write it & contemplate my elders,
the car is not gay after two hits on
un taza de café, stay outside, to
be crumpled up in any apartment room
is bad news. Unnerve yourself & wait
while I linger. At night, or at 6am
cleaning, he was a good man, he spoke
very little

Okay, you’re falling and keeping
time.

When you turn around and
look at your wife.

It’s something, I’m seeing it.

Bald gentleman with shorts, green
shirts & collars mean face towels

As Connor removes himself from the
shower & is white & singing in
diameter with you completely insane
& in a classroom in Alamo Heights.

He thinks, “I need to learn to behave”
                            over again
                               on repeat on the radio
                                    over again
                                    on the radio
                                         performin’

The plea.

                                       May 4, 2018                                              
                                                            1:54­ pm
David Zavala Nov 2018
the news was fresh like a vulture, our dogs walked along rough terrain

we were in public and happy, attractive before girls,

unabashed I smiled, or shook my head, and made my way past.
David Zavala Nov 2018
What
a dimmed room
with
sunshine coming in
through the window
is

is a pretty thought

I’m in the dining room

of my grandmother’s house

I’m my apartment on West Campus
In Austin, Texas.

writing songs on the piano
about all the ills of the world
which sit on a grassy knoll
and we look at them and stare

I reach my arms out
you move closer to me
I am thankful for you

&&,
The more serious
             my voice gets
Like a bird
    landing
           somewhere
               on the grassy knoll.

in a t-shirt
in a Japanese garden,

I could be a t-shirt

If you could be
a school

I could be
a student

If you could
design
for me
the layout
of a building

I could call you
an architect

shake hands with
the mayor

As I am rushed
into an ocean
of memories

for catching ducks

at the ball park

while the batter hits a home run
and makes a break away
towards home-base

I am as small as an unwanted orphan
&&
it is hard to explain
how to be diligent
& New Zealand is too cautious
for a
student who lives and learns.

Books, letters, journals, articles,
musicians, writers, artists and activists,
music, stereotypes, racism, sociology,
accessibility, our spare room the
guests sleep in.
David Zavala Nov 2018
Be comforted
   alone with
       a piano. I want an
            independent book store.
here
      it should sound
                no longer weeks
           it's cute
to cut and the leaves
                           no David, it's
not and you can't, it's a bad painting, we're
serious thinkers, we're grown like papa Hemingway, and play guitar
with our girlfriend's fathers, a soft pretty flower of assorted colors.
David Zavala Nov 2018
The situation is an integrative biologist
We say: "It is my understanding that to unfold time as if we are
not a series of images, solid in nature, are proposed as a steam of thought or intelligence."

It is a situation of integrative biologists to say:
"It is my understanding that to unfold time as if we are not but a solid nature of images to be proposed as a stream of thought or intelligence." A first philosophy of agreement but to ignore them, to us, accept then a contention of ignorance, a singular feeling, a difficult intention which I hear is vivid and green, fresh as it is a fashion. I made a mistake, I admit. I had a sense image and I enjoyed the particulars which in the language of William James is animate and inanimate. It is the living constitution of our fore fathers, as Virginia Woolf argues, is nothing but a brief and wondrous time of being, that is proposing that past motives are a mere nothing - it is a very large world and is therefore complicated, the matter about
which we will contend
will be written by learned men
by men of the ages
who speak only of a solid nature
are as they argue, if on the whole they can prove, that they were the matter of relations to wisdom. Therefore, it is a concept only which I put forward as a situation suddenly as a flood
which allows me to appear to be an antiquated matter, but which serve only as a time in time corruptible like an emotion, an eruption of being into a disposable nature. The unfolding of time is then, as I have mentioned, similar to the integrative biologists, as they say "it is a solid stream of intelligence, it is the intention of a vivid nature" which we fathom as a irritable matter like a master piano playing at the will of the people. Nakedly they sit in their homes, even if a mistake is a sense which in my mind will constitute a time-being consciousness, a subject of sorts, the subject of sorts, the contention of which there is no object, there is nothing which is animate or inanimate, only that which is nothing but rather is only but a work of art. Stated let me say:
"It is the constitution of the ladder of wisdom that a hierarchy which
    exists and which is a severing a function which equips the natural order for to be in
other forms to exists is that which is a being or equation could be said to be if not on the whole it is then nothing but a being to such a point. It is other than the form of entertainer, it is other than what keeps me satisfied?" To do one's duty or not. In my place, I suggest that I leave my home and travel, I go to Bill Millers and keep account of the disposition forced upon me by the very large and persons of moral character and of no good being and of nothingness which a person is of no moral good being or is it evil? Will ever amount to? I am ignored. By this nature I am confused and my thoughts which I confess are nervous and are a thing which I ascribe to, I cannot express them, I cannot be, they are mere relations of events in time and even are as so a thing to be of wanting-ness to be as if they are in front me, as so they probably are, I want still more to be able to explain why a career is only a want, nothing other than a want, an expression of myself in the smallest and most minute way, the building up of a tallest tree which allows me to form an arguable proposition that l will contribute to a class of men who object less capture inside of me a will of fore sayable future. I am without wealth, we are without wealth. We leave no fortune on this earth. In space therefore it is time and it is wealth which makes me the eyes of the traveller going through an inbox, infringing on my rights to be a man, as I understand them. A proposition of brother-less time and a nature of being, a time thing constrained to that which is a strained muscle, I have wept and before me are our former histories of time and might and will - the concrete and arguable - spherical visions of a nonsensical act of complete madness. What classical insights do you have for me tonight Virgil? I am the vertices, I am the axises, I am in turn the turn of which the world decays, in a sad and considerable way. May I reject such a caused event as a caused notion only on my account of my own ignorance? A philosophy of time! Sure! Wisdom! The one! Sir! Timelessness! Brainlessness! Dead friends! Alive friends! Something we can believe in! The essence of time and being! Isn't it fun to be without a thought or to be a thing!? Virginia Woolf is a very complicated person I agree.
David Zavala Nov 2018
8:26 AM
                   May 5th 2018

                          A Sunday

A cold nose
       For your hot soup

A painting
        For your open garage

Sound is near
             For your overdosing

**** the juice from the berry
& the pollen from a flower

A Camero going too fast
              For your Club 27’s

Art supplies spread everywhere
& to not be a millionaire
& to not be afraid of daddy long legs
  
                                       to seek revenge
                                          in the form
                                                of a
                                           chocolate milk

I am wildly running in silence. It is a form of expression when I say:
“don’t wake up to your mother saying

go backwards”

“Cheat in someone else’s voice”

“Wonder whether something is wrong”

“Fit your sentence into everything”

“Continue onwards to health”

“Sit together and have breakfast”

“You will find sunshine after removing the nail from your shoe”

“On Saturday morning; war”

“Finally, I feel beautiful and can sit, where do you want me?”

“Brother, do you want me?”

“Perhaps if I wrote something deep and profound”

“And it came from my mouth”

“Perhaps if we invented a language”

“Make them for me”

“They’re so perfect and I’m so strong and mean.”

“There is a scenic garden that houses a knife, a hair net, and a Chinese mother. As lively as it is, to make everything, to know more, customers will be arriving.

We imagine people that get soaked by the rain and the cuisine they eat as the night slowly fades away.

The water that washes away metal and holds strength and culture when suddenly oil spills over the lands and the smoke from factories cloud the sky, or, the snow that prevents us from creating something new.

We settled on a Norwegian Island
and worked construction,
shoveling dirt and building skyscrapers
when the snow began to melt.

So, we drove to the city and bought sausage from a Bar-B-Q joint, dressed in a suit.

We left our childhood homes and had children who worked for factory mines and operated conveyor belts.

A doctor tried to stop us.

He tied us down to a gurney, and even tried to put us to sleep, but we kept driving.

We came upon a large tree and passed it and were grandiose with ideas as we came upon a stable.

We were shirtless and rented horses. We rode the horses to a beach.

We wanted to relax. We built a camp fire and hung and unpacked our belongings, then went into the ocean aware of the undercurrents and sharks.

We prayed to the mountains and the setting sun. California was not enough, so we rented a boat, set sail, and never came back.”

10:10 am
David Zavala Nov 2018
sinners: his cane dislodged

l

Cane:

To an awake friend, he said mesmerized "rest on gorgeous fields are made for soccer players,"

The motion analogy is the lake or the river, at the school, reminds me of that the left row of made of pink lamps is still a malls sweat on their knees, whose above?

I lift your nudged fox to the women with the air filled with music in your clothes

Chicago is today, sick of the warm color warmed colored walnut an elementary something, happy by troubled, world only only world, enter my vision of art - the movie set, really,  

At the table, Socrates came from out of the cave,
of the center opened of the like a snoring beast snoring beast,
up staircases inside the small indent of the university, legs-crossed, lectures partially complete, and contemplated a 4 winged bird which leapt from the ground: cone-less and timeless.  

Frank Sinatra is on center stage, the square, literally, like being the poetess naked in the garden, singing with her husband went missing for several days reciting Shakespeare.

Eden, no that Eden, Eden is gorgeous and mothers multiple their eggs in wombs, they are birds, by way of television - sick of that rhythm, inside the history of museums, public images paint delicately.

                               Fathers are all brilliant and masterminds, the inside of the skyline fits my heart,

Driving to the national rabbit we liked the peanuts which were snacks and
saw walrus near the ocean with non-fury legs, their paws with peaches, pinks from schools like sugar Montessories, whole swarms of bees learning that John Ashberry's  mind used mine to mind dollars bills he finds off the street in New York to tell you that you should learn what a unit is. Close the world, close the window in the other room and when you to go to work and maybe to bring a snack where creativity is here and there. I see differently the trees and red wheel-barrow. My water bottle is purified and the reverse is the Cosmos on calcium. I want more chloride and sodium - make that ingredient good, good enough for your doctor, good enough for me, a cake for us, and faster because Arkansas is always walking, it is plastered rich sandwiches, missing girls are little and little on TV, the bud of a flower is a direction.

Space is big but my things are spill proof, the pumpkin we seed inside the my house next to the popcorns guitars are colored blue and fall immutably pulling loudly from men, in their canes, shaven cane, clean cane, looking at me looking at the portrait saying, I can see the red and blue in black and the dove sits on the statue on Monday and flew in cold from Alaska over whole towns, and the bird said, yes the bird said, he said "A fisherman saw, he was bearded and arrived on Friday, photos on the ground, animals are outside, libraries filled with no books and no their indexes leading to prologues that Freud says is moral but I've been saying better and reasoning that her makeup is missing and no shampoo in the bathroom, blush hands up in Vegas, fold - our cars are stuck on the highways means is leaving the only bar that is yellowish only from blue painters who paint with their paint brushes such that ballet dancers contemplate their watch. The Nutcracker and Animal Farm are complete. Bearded and braided black man, your is hair completely skinless in San Francisco which I've been to for two weeks because the back of the pack on back of the feet of the ton of the ground street lights guide us to a single number such is an exciting job opportunity, inside classroom, the difference is I'm in the front, how ludic it is, isn't it? Get dressed or get in we're going dancing. Drive or I can drive only to recognize a slip of free will, you're in white, the forums we enjoy are for professors which are only in my mind and therefore sprung forth whenever I want them. There are a couple of whole armies giving trees, Dr. Pink wants motion to activate a concert such that I like the words operraeta and subscribing to the dictionary, Mainly up is laughing are diamonds in hands in apartments are feet and hands, and almost wind, fire, water, turning from distance brothers and cowards uses his left hand and experiences sleep and whole days in a single sentence. It's cruel really to be beautiful and no I don't feel back for you. Your just a memory of him riding the shopping cart down the aisle of HEB - insight into psychologist's events - welcomed with nobility bowing down near the single article, sitting in front of our produced and not free laptops, their machines were used to make paintings and sculptures, thousand of journalists in their ties dress with microscopes in front of classrooms like a style that is thoughtful, high on salamanders, wait salamanders? No, a sad living room examining a firefly is a history of museums, it is useless. It is a calm waterfall, it is back from the seminary, it back from the river we sat at before inside of a conference room near downtown, the light of love produced kayaks.

We currently sit younger pondering an ice rink made of children dressed for Halloween, a few feathers but I know down on my injured fence after a tornado came in and placed beautiful women, their naked bodies and all, are here as a college student staying awake from both for Sundays and U-HAULs are only like criminal floats down the formed uselessness of that jars of pennies. But we selected! Entertained and busy, working, on a math problem from universities, I was reading Einstein earlier, bought it and profoundly expressed I am personally interested in Dvorak's String Quintet in B major Op. 77. That is, while watching YouTube videos of mysterious friendly characters although I'm standing naked in a bathroom, a peacock created the world, leaves fell, fire on the dirt, it doesn't burn too bad, does it? We pose another  question, to what sickness can I stand on a bench suit jacket, ill-fitted and have a friend say to me, you look like a philosopher?

I stick my leg out quietly because clouds coolly that day spent on wooden tables is possible and not meant to able to assuage the sun even for you school bus, actual school bus, hiding from large groups of people scared while the congregation sits praying,

Even for you, helmet,
On a football field, orange Spain leant me a hande, our dogs were not beside us though while Mr. Grinch sits in his apartment, editors don't want him pulling flowers from, for example, the baseball fields, doing baseball players are plays catcher, dresses in the same uniform totally is mesmerized by how water becomes ice, such that the eye bending time like a green cactus, objects and mountains and the insides of the restaurants, eight o clock evening dinners,

Dancing with angels the devil is ugly, trains go through time and say biology is easier than white picket fences, it makes me sad, it should make me sad, but there is new hope.

So more difficult the white flower is the candle menacing number 3 thousands of logically lettered alphabets for the alphabets, and for her, waiting at trees rooted but you know, construction men leaving everything at that grocery store where I can sit down and wouldn't buy a lottery ticket, sorry.

II  

Dislodged:

Entering my vision are tragedies
collages of white photos
eat our sons
              we
           swarm
          predators
          slowly
          down
             the
            street
                is
                a
             cigarette
                  is
busting friends out of apartments into huge houses after coming from grocery stores, passing fields, outside and zoos visited, jealous of her offices,
200 page completed novels completed, my way home, it's our problem really, but that comma coulda dressed in a suit, coulda been someone must run the title of his license plate

III

Cane Dislodged:

Settle down, the movie sat at the bar is dumb, i sit alone, I sit alone, still I sit alone, I sit alone. Tea from down the street is expensive so
we can't believe that the founders of the Quakers movement did that and that they are made in the image of empires such that a body ignorant because smudged paintings are the mouse, right?
David Zavala Nov 2018
Allen                                                            ­                  
  - is Greenwich Village                                                          ­                                            
it's okay, coffee and tacos                                                            ­                                      
down the street in the night
the moon is overhead
their scarfs are on
David Zavala Dec 2018
Dream apartment,

Dream in the apartment room and house.

Nearly: Leadership is a four legged table green, blue, orange, yellow orange green with a beard, begin to calm down the
I apologized for my lack of talented thoughts should or shouldn’t be staff or more Shakespeare, today.
David Zavala Nov 2018
To Joaquin Phoenix

The waves today are old techniques,
Inserted here is an emotion
The end of this poem will be one long sentence.

You are angry at me
because I am ugly.

Gladly I masturbated to several months.

I wished him success.

I'm friendless and once knew a philosophy major. I
I wrote all day yesterday and then got sad.
My favorite book shops remind me of the Bronx. Sometimes books are expensive.
A smelly bar. Would you marry my father? I left your large New York apartment. My
father grew up as a migrant farm worker, what college did you go to?
Last night I opened the window for my cat, I know he realized how large the world is.
People know my name & women want me - my father went to Cancun for his honeymoon
My mother's never been to the sistine chapel. She has a good book on Michelangelo.  
The docent's at the Blanton ignore me. We should **** them. On November 9th 7:49PM I am
looking at my computer screen trying to be honest. I've put on women's clothes and got called gay.
- We went grocery shopping. You were angry at me but had sympathy. Son you wrote me a letter.
Father I wrote you a letter. Allen I'm finally writing letters. Joaquin I knew better. Let me prove it.
November 9th 2018, 8:06PM
David Zavala Nov 2018
Charles Bukowski gets off the couch and does his laundry
            He leaves the house and gets the paper,
                  He's 50 and used to writing to 20 year old boys
                       "All we need is a marginal amount of motivation, boys."
                             "What about the library, chuck? Why don't we make
                                      our way there and argue about pretty circles?"
                                              "No, the world is waiting for me to find success"
                                                         "I haven't applied for many jobs, I feel diseased."
                                                                ­           "You want sympathy and need rest."
                                                                ­          "I think I know what you mean Chuck."
David Zavala Nov 2018
For Julia Theriot, I want a two bedroom apartment.

Style is every thought you have
thinking every thought you have
is not poetry.

Moments Becoming: It is dressing in black in a history museum, in a museum of history, which means you are high with the salamanders, wait salamanders, and yes also calm under pressure,

Let me provide to you a question: Are you really that much better?

Our father's job is to be such that a poet,
    while the sun
          hits his living room
                where he has a microscope
                       examines the firefly

Because I went from coming back from the seminary, the dead, and when arrived back sat next to the lake which is a river which is dressing as an architect, I dressed as an architect, that is such as an architect as as I dressed as an architect in our small filled books rooms books. Yes in both. And I sat quietly painting, painting with a piece of metal from the microscope, in our room, that I pulled from the ground in that zone under construction surrounded by workers producing lovely light, lovely light, light love, lightly love which were not taken by moments but which were becoming moments such that I am intertwined with the near with the downtown area where we live such that a beautiful women and their smiling children slowly cross the river such that is a lake in their canoes or kayaks,

Huh?

We sit younger near the lake or the river, our arms straighten out, our chests, my chest mainly because not you, not your chest, oh no, such that that is our naked bodies, in the bathroom in the shower, that is our two maturties is an old age instantly caught Dvorak's String Quintet in B major Op. 77 such that is not but is but is and placing it gently in an ice rink such that you are a scientist, he is a poet, me a student, and we stayed awake at night and made one or two Nobel Laureates sing, yes, sing is that such is that is which of la-chula that is such that is that that that that is geniuses, only geniuses confused in San Francisco such that it plays near the end of such not is not you and is not excuses but is a listen to your doctor, listen to your mom, love your dad, call your grandma, call your sister, and call your cousin, and that weighted decision from your university is that poetess that is such that it is nested which is a created the world mesmerized a peacock, yellow bird with feathers injured flies from our fence outside our window two bedroom apartment. We saw it happen.

And yes, and figuratively took a train that was cold did you like your sweater which was yes white. Easy and on our way to the ball crossed the street chasing after a boy with a balloon and looked both ways before crossing the street together. We made sure he got to the other safely. He was not out or ought but is such that a few steps down are thoughts such that a math problem from our universities keep ish us ish busy. On Sunday, I am entertained-ish, but Julie Theriot, let me tell you, if only you knew Julie Theriot, how badly I want to be a smart and handsome you are a smart and handsome you are a smart and beautiful who while the jar of pennies sits in front of me, we start by selecting the candle and light it in front of our first two bedroom apartment and our window, and the window, and along with the bird so that useless as birds and statues do correctly and do right and do it correctly and do what they are supposed to do and what is really is really right is really an is it okay to ask: what does it matter whether I finished the book?

Basically, you are okay, listen to your doctor, become college educated, listen to your mom more or less, remember inclusion?

Our poetic thoughts can never overcome strength such that the bullies behavior really does reflect him or her more than it does you and our apathy? Our apathy, whatever that word means, well apathy means quietly our house has a red bag, a red bag, only a red bag, that is a smart smart red bag, enough to place cards in it, the red bag, which we will use to pay and make a ***** downtown come to life. Only in our city. By the way, because you are a scientist, remember? We don't like the payment at all such that is a student floating down the river or a novel of full of books or of poetry forms, the forms of novels, the narratives of my novel on that page of the novel, unplugged hearts, the unplugged hearts, plug in the hearts obviously, but I don't really have to move a muscle.

P.S. I don't like your name.
6:19 PM
Nov 7, 2018
David Zavala Apr 2014
& I
her

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
un dressing /            /her black
           knees, her        
                                         socks

right there              Welcome

(a)
     (b)
               there’s a pause   - - _ -_--    -  but We Continue:

           A                                          B
241 seconds ago,                     (op p ressed)
asked to speed up                  (o p p res s e d)
a phone rings                            (     ---       )
I dare not answer                    (
oppressed*       )
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

(c)   *
leads you to the government
David Zavala Apr 2014
Dance with your feet tied to the ground, still try to dance: the computer inside your picture is a placed gently cracked bell that is slowly slowing down for everyone to go home and I don’t care how much money you make as long as I am happy.

Through my city: sleep don’t bother those sleeping in the city.

Am I hot? Do I belong here?

One January a woman called and she was in fact a nurse and she began half passed noontime and wanted to go to lunch and had the hour off and you arranged your forms very well and had a productive appointment and will soon enable yourself to be what you dreamed of becoming. Man, that’s hard, but lately every morning is playing a symphony because I asked Alexa to play a symphony. They also have concerts downtown. I am deciding that on the way back home a old love’s physical action lovingly told and said easily, I don’t want to get high I can’t drive home, where’s mom? The truth is not what you wanted me to ask because I can because I can because I don’t have time it ends enough time it ends up that the truth is not what you want.

                       (It doesn’t end well)
David Zavala Nov 2018
When he himself
Decided nearly that we were wrong and took too long,
seek the old lost notebook, Buffalo I've been writing
the economy is waiting, a stone, poor writer, New York City,
fast crowds,
David Zavala Dec 2018
"It was upset and
            will remain upset"

Happier times, newness, of birds.
Spring is the sound of
Frosty the snow man, who gave us,
Kenneth Patchen is the image of, who gave us,
Neighborhoods gave us,
Will gave us: "I'm working on it"
Disbelief gave us: subsidization.
Indie gave us: UIW and New Yorker articles,
All the time, mind is cold, is cold. Burr.
Queen-joke,
Joke-Queen,
And irrespective of ghost or iron or sets or hallucinations,
Yes, you, they agree: our freedom is New Abraham, the elders want our knowledge.
David Zavala Nov 2018
To write one more is a crime!
To contemplate immortality!
And the nonlinearity of time
To see the sun turn
And my eyes opening
To lose the flea that travels with me
To sit still in a doctor’s office
            Expand! I want more!

The seat that the man sits in to
be designed & the possibilities that
can occur as a swift spark of
the pen occurs again. It takes all day, all day,
                    to achieve the flow
                        that brings
                   creativity, like water being
poured down a toy that shifts the water
from left to right, as designed by its constructor,
and is colored yellow.

What I need is adulthood and normalcy
for our dance to satisfy and
for our creation to be enough as we
stand in suits taking a class photo.

To break from the line and continue
the lineage onwards to humility
because the gap that exist is

too far for a jump.

Our mouths are covered with tape
And we are cautiously out on a date.

Alright, Alright.

Trying to not throw my body on
the world’s stage, as we look upwards at
the king from the terrace on the third floor
balcony.  

Crown on head & we respect but we
Criticize.

“she runs off and we catch her”

& I’m dine & mad rush ends.

We are eating shame I am playing
                                        the
             ­                          king.

The brown sand beneath our feet
                                  shoes off
                            watching the waves
                             crash into the beach.
The car is in the parking lot. It is
a Mini Van. We bought it in 2003.
We are happy with its maroon color.

May 4th 2018, 2:30pm
David Zavala Jan 2019
Incredibly delicate several pieces of bread
Incredible idea of immeasurable proportions
Incredible finished cups of lasagna
                                      and coffee,
and the choice of spaghetti and
poet John Ashbury who contemplates severe depression like though in the most pea-cocked just yet romantic way, I am not depressed and he is not better. We are all equal and that was not improvement or wellness. We are all equal and should treat each other nicely or nicely.

I’m t's terrible sometimes especially when I am lonely and alone with instead the of the other I want to be with you often so I will try and say or spell it out to you I’ll write when I'm with you.
David Zavala Nov 2018
He said, "life is a situation."

An integrative biologist said: "it's my understanding that if time is to unfold but is not a solid nature, as proposed, then it is a stream of thought."

My first philosophy said: "An agreement to not ignore but accept ignorance. It was a strange feeling, a difficult feeling, like a description of vivid and green flowers.
David Zavala Nov 2018
Before smoking a cigarette with you,
we walk outside to your porch

we are in an old town,
I thank you for your respect and hospitality

“I was just in trouble”

I say, thinking of how I sat in the Dean’s office the other day.

I think, meta-magically,
“wow, a human”

with hands spread out.
coins in hand.

Infinity is a toy store,

or a hot dog,

a walk with no complaints,

As we stroll leaving behind

the worries of today and yesterday.

As I
come
down,

Violence & crime,

So, I build us a house in San Francisco,
I decide it’s best either in the suburbs or
in a less affluent side of town,

Because it’s dangerous to be a healer and a thief

To be a model who looks in the mirror several times a day,

Or, a world-class athlete who trains alone.

My identity is selected
            by my interaction
with ecstasy, & I apply it
by either incorporating it or resisting
                                                     it.

& please, I just want to be beautiful
& please, I just want to be beautiful
& please, let me have the toy
& to be loved
                       to be held tight
                         & for you to not
                                  let go.

I want the beach in Galveston to stretch more than
27 miles. The sand on West Bay to have diamonds. To pick them up.
For Trinity river to flow into the Gulf of Mexico.

For the winds that come from hurricanes to
create a tremendous party for us, so we can slowly
slide down a slide at a children’s
                     museum.

The part of the Gulf of Mexico that interests me
the most is that it is bordered by the east
coast of Mexico, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi,
Louisiana, and Texas.

& they’re off, as I go to work & play dress up,
because time is a line, probably, we should begin again,
& meditate, & I’m sorry I didn’t support you, your
music deserves a louder clap than mine.

And suddenly,
the saddest thing occurred today
I was wearing khakis shorts
and a Bahama button down
and I was picking up my
kids from the airport. Just
then, I realized, I’m a father.
David Zavala Nov 2018
He carried me lasagna. The
picture was gorgeous - red - not blue - falling into Huxley - on a
orange bed covered with Mexican men outside the window
was slanted - tress - the door opened - a shot gun next
                                                                ­         to flowers...
David Zavala Nov 2018
The gesture took place
Above the animals a toy-box sat
Lonely without you
David Zavala Nov 2018
Blue Chaos
Sweet

Damp philosophy
Come with me,

To the tree,
Ill-defined postulate, wilderness
A happen-stance challenge us,

Measure the couch
Turn your page,
Purple nails are piano weights
Free, however, mover
                      the bottom of the cave
As a tuned person paints a chair,
Time intangible,
    
                              pen strike me down!

Chair wise & intelligent, Hubble,
made tangible: "chase and chase"

Christmas is sad, good gun is present,
My lines of poetry, purple, sphere distraction
Finds San Francisco is difficult next bathed
wisdom.

The distance boats appear, Rodriquez in his office.
Cash registers, the poet re-arranged in any order,
for the whole large mechanical room as a bone
is health in the store, book-store holding the wall,
reminder to read the birds the cross articulate
substitute themselves words can be arranged
to the complete meaning of the sentence.

"Is it useful to ask this question in this capacity?"

Know-oneself wisdom of philosopher.

There are a various amount of shells on the beach and the sand we run along is not opposite to a hanging chandelier on the roof.

Among the inside of the house, a Greek statue plucked from the air holds me inside a thought of eternity more learned man has taught me that there is a path to guidance, however, as you get closer it arrives and splits unanimously colors like the water in the cup. The image of a complete manuscript, he writes, "it doesn't need to be perfect," defined, redundant, but instead, is a form of practice stolen like a pimply Phantom of the Opera and gifted and recycled, disgusted, at the sight of a man in the cave abandoned, ignorant as I may be, privacy is what I seek. On the rooftop it is cold and white, my thought has ended.
David Zavala Nov 2018
Why is the gorilla solitary?
    
     I’m not a primatologist
              I don’t know
But what I do know is that I want you sober and safe, if not sober, then safe.

But! “Would it be okay if I set up the time?”

A very serious thought should be inserted here, one that allows you to stay sane and within boundaries.

Don’t weep! Clean your room and visit your local art museum. If you need to, pick up an album beforehand and don’t remove your headphones while you walk through the museum mesmerized by the objects and paintings, you see. The gorilla that is the alpha male will sit alone. I don’t know why.

To reach out and grab a bottle of mustard and ketchup and put them on your hot dog is all I could ask for

And the backyard of your grandfather’s house is more than I could ask for

I will expect him to guide me out the glass door to his workshop where I will look in amazement and feel a certain feeling

I will want to pick up the tools
grandpa has laying around
and try to make something.
I won’t know how the machines work
and I will want the car he drives to have
                                            a broken wind shield.

I will want to write while you learn to paint
I will want to learn to write while you paint.

I will buy popular science books and visit a planetarium but won’t understand a thing the scientists are saying
I will use a different way to communicate that uu should be careful who you model yourself after.

       not crazy, operant conditioning!?
                              a form of expression
                                     with intent!

A four-walled room painted white
An isle to walk down alone.

A door you come upon, where you are greeted by a smile by a friend who has all the answers.
And without your neediness, or your distaste in the wrong culture, or the flutter that occurs to you and your conscience, or the answer to question three on your religion test, or a meal with your mother, or your father staying late working, no questions being asked,

                                                            you find yourself in
                                                     your room, still lost and needy

There is a course you could take and I encourage it.

Girlfriends are expensive. The definition of a cell is the single, smallest unit of an organism. There is room for growth! The sun! Clouds! Nimbus! Positioning! A room where you can be creative
                                                        ­      a conceptual space
                                                                ­         where you can sit
                                                             ­                     and smile

perhaps a café, boys,
or a hospital waiting room

after arriving in town by way of an airplane from San Francisco
where upon you are
immediately
rushed to the ER
because of an infection
in your stomach

you realize that football games aren’t all
that bad

And that your car doesn’t really need to
be washed every 2 weeks but that it’s strongly suggested.

You are wrong.

     Say I love you to her in 5 different languages

Estonian: Ma armastan sind
                Mina armastad sind (formal)

Czech: Miluji te

German: Ich liebe dich

Japanese: Kimi o ai shiteru

Latin: Te amo

put fresh air and family above
the and of or for
                      -
              work-space

                      -

Know when to stop and when to begin. Watch the cattle being herded by a lone cowboy.

         visit the petting zoo
                    pick up a Texas-mapped turtle

buy an aquarium and buy several fish,
some exotic,
and watch them grow & develop

                     The coral reef is blue and a variety of colors

                                      the deeper you go into the ocean, the darker it gets, the
                                          ticket to swim with the dolphins is only 20 dollars and on Tuesdays
                                                  the aquarium is free with a student
                                                    ID.

               Fuller
the park is free and open to the public,
you will know how to raise your child
you will know what to do when a creepy man approaches
you should know
     that
     jumping off the diving board into the
deep end and buying a fancy car is worth it, but ultimately, know when it’s time to come back home, you know, before it
gets too dark.

Part ll

A Shadow
                     Distributed

                                   Pushing against the wall

Another petting zoo
                                  a bathtub with a single fish in it
                                     a piñata-store
                                          a dream of a mother handing me her child

All of yesterday I looked back, I spent the entire day laying
in bed. It is late at night and I am alone. There is
David Zavala Apr 2014
those plus one or two
                                        wait
monkey kicks god speaks Jesus Christ saw himself through the TV
                                     smiling in the shade of a
                                                now cut
said so,
genetic disorder
   - they will lie to you -

(2) my dear your sight has lead me, helped me, still
i continue
                   teach me to speak, correctly
again,

consciousness is a said thing,
inevitably inevitable;
See what I mean?
- // It's best we don't try anymore

(3)
I'd rather pick you up, drive you around
we used to
So Much fun
laugh it off, laugh it off

Sometimes at 4 in the morning, four
a variety of flavors, a green thumb tack stuck to the wall
said memories Given to you through  
                                                       ­                      Ferris Bueller,
Ferris bueller
watch Ferris Bueller on your next day off

*daffy duck wrote this off
David Zavala Nov 2018
Short and long - a string
of wisdom is a hungry laboratory, marvelous teeth were prodigious. It is scare and it is big, and your skills and techniques need to make the ordering quality, decanter of living specter, your safety is instead a categorical imperative, the store a question of Office. Abject garbage, to the agitated dust! In and among the leaves, little house tortilla, is a future newspaper made of fresh newspapers? Leave, because we drove cars downtown high and were afraid of cops and authority figures. Our girlfriends were in the other house, perhaps across the country, but yelled in ****** moans at us while we wrote good stories of joy and Thanksgiving. We were hallelujah-like and saw men and their sons, drive around us on their way to soccer fields, while we sometimes ran in parks and looked at the highway, where the cars drove fast. Pretty and attractive girls made us invisible specks of disaster, I am unhappy today friend, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, November 21st, 2018. I am a thief, I get called a loser at 3in the morning while I go outside to smoke a cigarette, your tire is on fire and my dreams are of houses, last night I dreamt of my house, are chicken nuggets from Mac-Donald's, I felt attractive. When my father dies and mother passes, I will be 35, alone, the weather is not raining and snowing, it is, in fact, hot. In a bed writing more scribbled lines, ugly and awake, perhaps not wanting, hopefully thin, near emaciated, and I will play the piano thinking of my neighbors and the country, I will have a John Ashberry book on my shelf and on page 35 in Commotion of the Birds will be a holiday special line - much like today - something obscure - and if you don't, then I hope, and I do hope, you have a happy day.
-
David Zavala Nov 2018
Although he had a mustache and wore a dress
His phone on Culebra was breathless
I could kiss you
She turned to him.
He turned to her. We
laid in bed.
She laid in glasses. William Blake was a
dragon - grey & grey with a suit, deer waited by days,
again his long shoes untied, he had a brief case, complete
Zen.
David Zavala Nov 2018
A nightmare
is the lights and poets.
they are in the cold, the
nurses and the televisions,
cautiously, know that the pens                  
on the table will illuminate the streets.
St. Vincent sees father time and truth
but the moon refuses to go.
David Zavala Apr 2014
===============================================================

­
There is a blue, black, and white car that picked up a red backpack for your crossing the street and she did give you a key for when you get in trouble.

The cars are supposed to honk and yes bombs are dropped from airplanes like in WW1 and WW11. I am sorry, it is terribly frustrating and your mom not dad probably do not understand and you should care if you think it’s worthwhile and that voice you have in your head is a voice to remind you of yourself and that there are others and options.

   s
            o
                        a
                       ­               r      
                                                   i
           ­                                           
                     ­                                         n
                                                         ­                  g
Simultaneously water: I don’t want to go
      
And a television to another television broadcasting the scream the girl
                          the girl

You are not enough.


==============================================================­=
David Zavala Dec 2018
it's not you, it's the room.
I don't know, but I want to know.
you're an oh, I'm a well,
I'm more than likely,
'I just want to get home safely'
style is Jazz at 6:46am in the morning
what else is on the way?

New love be kind,
when you need to be quick
or be quiet, be kind

Leaf-eater be mottled and grey,
In the age of anxiety,
two mice together
formed an English man who taught an unusual instant
Mirror me,
We want the word brown to completely surround us.
La la la, it's funny,
Line 4 of page 112 stands with time on page 146 but you have to pay close attention,
the sick and hopeless,
breaths, and the hole in the sky is a
Nurse-Manager,
Numerous Immigrations change.
Where are you? I miss you. I just miss you. Where are you Emmy?
and close-fittingly
It's cold. I am short sighted.
My heart, another story, no, this time it's stable and balanced,
what is implicit is that it's not that it
reminds me of principals and friends,
instead it's a song
                 to the sky.
And gladly we'll lift their bodies
And gladly they'll lift their bodies
And gladly you'll soon comply,
you know, with them,
Polymorphic, anyways,
is an amazing lake?? And Your passion is
tree, agree? Mother's rejoice! tonight The apron was removed
it does
evil, what does evil?
Whose evil?
The bottom left of the page of Kerouac's hymns and poems
wholly
see grey Denmark, America, Sweden
and Berlin
is my character on action?
shade select geologically, "truer,"
specifically, college sweater. Blue scattered dots.
Orange and black, color is a fight for different
two environments, where the mouse together forms another several
lovers, "An act on every internal *****"
to joke,
while we use orange and yellow to engulf us and scatter more blue along
the lives of
Curculio.
Isn't it a Romantic Roman candle?
doesn't matter
Possible nature? More intelligence?
I'm so sorry Emmy.

December 9th 2018
David Zavala Nov 2018
I thought you were beautiful:
You said you'd build your tomorrow, cake and flower,
Slough the hospital Ford with pillboxes envious of celebrities who reflect an insignificant person. Glory be the false pretenses, you see, newly-mown grass, subtle kidneys on the roof, pale widows falling into Othello.

The river of a woman in pants near the lake with some white on the dusty surface of the water was a box of doves, he walked into the water.

The waterfall was permanent and looked back long with high shoes on.
David Zavala Nov 2018
Can you, reader, answer why the lemonade costs 5 dollars?
It’s two dollars and thirty cents at HEB.

At a diner, suggest “Vegeria”
On Broadway, in San Antonio, Texas *.
Only order drinks. But eat before.

I’ve never been to Boston, I don’t know what’s happening there.

But you know, a trampoline in our backyard, The Magik Theatre, mom and pop shops, art classes, a Subaru Forester,

Your heart attack, heavenly enlightenment,

Consecutively,
writing to 20 thousand people, or four,

or maybe it’s space?

Foolish
David Zavala Jan 2019
The sea is the beginning of a poem. It’s color is baby-blue.

It is and certain points has a dark shade tint to it.

The forest behind
  is green, forest-green and at not light not at all light:

Baby blue: I accept happiness and color

Is not: It’s not, it is not three O clock in the afternoon evening afternoon maybe like light and day but or eleven PM shady night I am smart that is not shade. I also think love exists outside of you with so many people to meet. Instances are where for keeping you warm and safe is what I am asking for, but I will and I did thinking of blueberries before you seem to have the problem it makes me smile that the color purple you are not only very pretty, cool, good, Okay, I love you not like but Okay I love you

Hey Mr. Comma you must mean too that are you mean too much to ignore I am soo satisfied with my amounts and experiences because they’re enough

People: Me, too, baby, someday, me, too, baby. Probably no lawsuits.

Between as well, the lighted shade of green-light is not, maybe pink, blue as well our the is the day is incredible and there is the a for the ceiling.

The top: Bottom towards the top is the top of one and so among many more are money pays for this, “Woah, wait, I’m actually at  I’m at Harvard Business School? What’s equity again?” Right, today other times I’m at the University of Sydney where I actually have to do stuff because it’s not Harvard University and what I mean is you should go to Harvard University and I won’t go to Harvard University I only keep saying and writing and actually I already ‘right, today other times’

Podcast: Apply hope you continuously tree where your words continuously are continuously sometimes safe to be to me to me to me

The words were to meet and that happened years like more than eight years ago but parts to me sometimes of the portion of the a pretty, pretty portrait.

I will complete before you also because you are working on next sentences completing next sentences and finishing your third next sentences book is only a small portion or part of the whole the the whole completed product, you pretty product, productively

Please be careful and safe, queen of the definitions that you came up with and answered. I want to be careful.

Hmm, what am I thinking about that is more like fantasy maybe an E topic wait that’s a power chord for a song you will enjoy, okay it is also a song and sure a subject or a topic but certainly a subject, you too should see.

I see that wasn’t too hard.

Hi Joan Mitchell, I like very much your art.

The act of painting: 1 color canvas added on the canvas and not to the canvas there is a difference

2 colors canvas added on the canvas,

3 colors canvas added on the canvas,

4 colors canvas added on the canvas,

Where’s the finished and presented product? I bet I can show that TO someone and that wouldn’t go well ON the person I am showing the finished and presented product to inside at their place and location that should be effortfully coordinated and agreed upon and decided. What’s your favorite verb?

And: lastly guy, fifth color canvas to the canvas. You’re gonna be beautiful tomorrow too.

Here comes the counseling the the. How do I get through?

Woah, maybe where what no more like I, too, am happy, gorgeous.

I, too, can afford a life and my life, I agree it’s color being used here and there there is here and it is a difference among cities and she also did it on her own like that color was chosen in a pair and not alone.

Social anxiety ***** and does feeling like you have depression. I don’t want depression. I don’t want social anxiety.

Boy: Way unique I am I am I am enough for you enough too and you will need more than you and I both can think ahead or plan

And: You should go first, no please, the view is great anyways.

And so are you. Please do not forget about you or your brother who would like to afford more than he needs, maybe five times more than he needs, and will think better of it. What’s permanent?

My head: that bag isn’t large and it also is not big. Nor should the bag be a no so you are a no, not like it used to be like I used to be here and there and there and here and here and here but like that and was supposed to happen and you didn’t be therefore wrong wrong therefore too. I’m in my office and I might have took a good day once at home for you too.

The best thing to do is better safe and be better safe.

That: You are a safe mother and you will continue with your family as well.

You: no more gazing near inky Monet gazette mail into vacuum today and felt badly needed a friend of course more friends but never the most friends

Oh: And so I called him and not her mother as I or because I looked at the trees while I spoke to him because I am not the only one that looks into the trees that are not really there for example, not present, there are no trees present. The forest, behind her terrace also is my terrace because that is something we, she and I, agreed on together like the signed apartment contract that is stored someplace safe and locatable is going well we both received well-being and good formal humor maybe some bad manners and some sort of stuff like I said to you like I said to you that I hope you a good day as well or too I clean the house the for you so you don’t have to clean it yourself.

Yourself: once no more than twice you are perfect and I hope you paint and have a good time at least while you paint.

I’m like that I’m so sorry, I can provide, I can support, I can offer you just never told me when, what or how yet I still did not turn out bad and you too did turn out bad. Wait you’re not bad, pretty pretty pretty pretty. I love you hope sometimes. Other times I am a single sales associate that does not and that think he or she does not earn enough money and does not want to shop from the store they (he/she) works at. It’s okay, it’s time to go to bed. I will get better. I hope it gets better. Before I go, is there anything else I could do? Apple is having a Black Friday sale and I bet the phone looks pretty and comes with a adjustable phone case.
I love you, that’s not right
#San Antonio, #Leader
David Zavala Nov 2018
Dressed in a black and white polka dot dress

You eat pie while sitting on the floor.

There is a table at the center of your one-story house with three bedrooms in the living room.

It is somewhere up north.

I left

For the department store.

Airplanes, cars, President, everything.

A department store worker helped me as soon as I walked in.

“I saw an image of myself on a postcard yesterday.”

“Last night, I dreamt I was playing basketball.”

“Maybe it’s space.”

    “with fuzzy hair,
      

“To father time: jealously.”

Like a woman and man,
    the soccer game is over.
        I wish you knew
            that it weren’t.

And that life can be described as baking a cookie.

That there are several ingredients.

First, you need cookie dough and a cookie

Roller.

II

A ghost is in your living room.

We are speaking two different languages.

We are arguing.

There are books spread out on the ground.

Sarah is painting the inside of her first house.

She places a ***
                For a plant
              On a table, outside
                          her house

Her house is painted white.

The trees are slightly blowing

When I leave the department store.

III

I wore an apricot shirt

Made my way to

My grandmother’s house on Freeman Drive

Then left for my apartment on Broadway in San Antonio, Texas.

IIII

“We are doing the same thing
            only you’re much
             more beautiful
              & I’m a thief
              looking outside
                  my window.”

I could lose everything
And there would still be
Billions of people I’d never
Meet. And millions that
Would never like me.

V

“Can you paint?”

Your body is enough.

Follow him:

the music, jobs, eighth grade plays, backyards, an increase in salary, a doll house, the broadcast on FM radio tuned into channel 153, compacting everything into a jar, a very delicate and antique jar, cranberry juice inside the jar, a doctor, the maximum amount of money a lottery winner can win, jackpot, retail stores, a playground, leaning into discomfort.
May 9th & 10th 2018

taste
is what Emily wants
so she thinks of ships that set sail
and attempt to reach the edge of the earth

but she finds no refuge only what you bought her
because before I left for home
a person who is assumed to be a bike shop owner and who wants an increase in salary
would be better for Emily, than me, why would I think, to write that Emily wants to taste the paint of a ship?

Emily rides her bike and plays with dolls

and is full of life

but she

does not want to go to the bullfight

she
closed her window
last night
before going to sleep
&
To my right is a warning sign

& last night before Emily closed the window

she thought of the ship and how it would taste to tear the paint off of the ship
and eat it
    In Emily’s dream,
she
      wore an apricot shirt
I know this because I used binoculars to peer into her dream
from my apartment’s window
but I felt strange so I began to laugh and
left my house
                     for Broadway
& took 410 to a bookstore called Chevers, which houses
3500 books of a variety of sorts
and I drove past a hospital and
was satisfied with my fuzzy hair
and the image of Emily eating the paint from a ship

It was 11:46 am on a Tuesday and

after passing the hospital,

I passed a soccer game

where 13-year-old boys played against each other

then remembered I left the oven on in my apartment.

The trees were beautiful on the way to the bookstore,

but I ignored them, I could only think of Emily.

But still thought,

“if I focus, I can thoroughly
pull all of the petals off
        of the flowers
from the side of the road”

And at the bookstore, Chevers, I picked up a book of psychology:

       I learned about
the factors that increase the risk for youth suicide
and self-harm.
I stole the word ‘coercion’ from a book of poetry
I thought, “this word is my insurance”
But still hated and that’s why I drank too much alcohol
in my youth and why I’m weening myself off the drugs I stole from a group of teenagers
who lacked the awareness that by the breath of a distant friend and the light that shines on me
& Adam and Eve, & gods, fin, who in their day could go home to their cloud and see the sunset
or beach, from heaven, or maybe it’s the ocean, or maybe it’s the skin of the sheep I skinned
where upon you asked me about the aromas, the smell of the sheep, after it’s skin has been removed.

I wanted badly to correct the wrong, that was why I was doing drugs and drinking and lying on the 50-yard line of a football field.

“it is supposed to be metaphorical,” you know, it allows me to cleanse myself, I think, sitting in my apartment, thinking of my day at Chevers.

“to cure the illness that is a lack of self-control and poor impulse control.”

Because obviously I should have taken the drugs from the teenager and given them to a police officer, that’s what greater men do, anyways.
David Zavala Apr 2014
A martyr the matrix:
***** roses inside the hoot owls owls hoot of an hour glass    

Anything changes

Nothing does

That is, more nurses and cries, yes undefinable cries, in the room next door.

Such that I have mail, I have a lot of mail, shaped like figures of 8 and want it off me,

What’s dressed in black clinks and clacks?

You don’t care anymore and I do not care.

Wear whatever you want, I was trying to be creative.  

If you love: willingly believe that it’s affirmative, a YES, yes after you mention that it is affirmative such that like a yes.

The sun send something you in a bird that flies across interested and past my neck but does, in fact, land, yo land.

Shadows will follow and your fence is alone or is basically alone and it is the best part and nothing changes and it’s not poetic it just doesn’t really matter like that not. Are you hot? Sorry, are you hawt?

The settled scratch:

     Air atom particles are now reconditioned second it second it second it make it something good yes gewd.

Okay: I still like Allen Ginsberg and like the taste of ginseng like in a soup. I am talking to someone I will never meet that makes me happy.

Finishing: at 4:03 pm on Monday afternoon I notice it is Spring. Sure, yes, sure the birds are chirping.

- Shutters begin --

?
David Zavala Dec 2018
You’re equal and there is still something wrong. Yap-Yap why won’t money be enough? Yap-Yap I love you and I love me. Yap-Yap.

What’s your best dream?

Yap-Yap. What’s your worst dream? Yap-Yap what are your dreams?

Yap-Yap you’re not being a girl with your dream when you say your dreams
ugh a real tear. Yap-Yap okay, I’ve got to go be peace with you.
Leadership Development, Applied Business Studies
David Zavala Apr 2014
I was a dumb learning man.

You are a goddess made of porcelain glass: a fragile dove with an angelic face and a glowing heart with wholesome conviction like a mannered spirit with delicate afflictions.

You are occasionally misunderstood and blind.

      You remaining light in my life that reminds me of what popularly is mother nature’s truest intentions. U R Making me cry.

  (Your lips reminded me at the time)

Timely you came back into my life as I feel tripped and before I was saying “what it says”

                      However,

              with your return:
                hope
a new sense of ambition, a new perspective , a polished set of ears
                      I have purpose and in fact I have substance, I was just trying to be creative.

                                               Come, fortune favors the brave, do what you want:

A dandelion metamorphosed in the span of a second: U R breathing

(Sometimes your lips remind me/we are breaking up)
3/26/14
David Zavala Nov 2018
Downtown in San Antonio
sat three blind mice
dressed
in ponchos and Spanish dresses
Black rights you say? We
took a small RV to another
city, it was hot, less though than
it was in Argentina. Fiji was
nice and had waterfalls, there were
tables near the beach. With valor we
uncrippled the image of time and arrived
at a trashcan painted with a yellow stripe.
Whole families - really only a single boy on
the ground in a red sweater surrounded by
filth - saying do better - I do! Little boy
I do care for your heath. He was gorgeous.
She sat down looking at a piece of plastic
- a horse - and we smiled. We wake and focused
on the microwave. The stove was nice. I was loud.
The switch on the wall hurt. The Queen Bee in the
store lost my money. He was tall. She was handsome.
I don't like Burroughs. At 44 I never grew up.

We looked back in the mirror - saw ourselves
And passed a muslim woman - the mountains were large
In another movie he died so in this poem he'll be pink
and will hold his arms out to men - ironic before me
asking myself how the white clouds which reflect the
green grass could juxtapose my middle-class house.
Your shoes were Asiscs - the expensive malls were mysterious.
We were young and left the better for a three story
building in Miami - but I enjoyed it. The people in
San Francisco weren't nice, but I remember playing guitar
in a corner by myself. The hostel and the flowers, I took a
picture on the third floor when I arrived. And David
why did he lick his lips? I was enamored by the magazines
offered by the U.S. mailbox - HEB produce - my sad face -
mother why can't you see? "In the backseat" is a
mountain less window with pictures on the wall and chairs I
sit on, books to my right, camera in front, reefs above
the chimney, and tons of tokens, from all the places we've
visited. Outside the wind blows. Months passed windowless parks.
Little homes made of puzzles and angels.

Be silent yellow-legged hippie, sandals on beach, yellow book
of pianos. I thought we were modern? Wrapped in blankets, blondes,
unshaven with my wrist watch on John Cage says he's frightened by old ideas so we push the envelope forward. You an artist damp sheet synapse connecting me to millionaires. Old bird houses and streets canary to birthday parties. We walked alone in the desert, sandy rocks and tumbleweed - a home theater - from Mexico to America. We were loveless so we decided to take a plane to Fiji. The plastic on the trees, snakes under rocks, loud sound of Darfur! We were models with beers cans on the walls, shelves, broken light fixtures, paintings for two, empty baskets, bar stools, doorways to the room. An interlude! My sister eating cake, I swear! It's a cubist painting! A cubist painting! Look at the geometry on the walls - so complex. Our tools were our background, the sky was empty, it needed more color I said walking through the university, "I need a big gallon of water and a lot of money." "Can you protect me?" I certainly can't - I laughed.

Are we ignorant or is Argentina *****?
The dirt on the ground, flag-blue and white,
the walls that border the sheet lights
white wedding gowns, candles lit to my
blessed Mars, every scene is an image
of death I tell you in Allen's voice! I
could write essays about each scene! Poor
woman standing outside red building with a
slightly open window in Argentina. A medium
to Neil Postman - the message is you!

The fire sits behind the phone booth.
An old lady in a grey sweater
"why would you take me here?"
(My apartment)

The pinatera in Austin,
colorless skyrockets in bright blues
A promise made to fold the sheets.
David Zavala Nov 2018
The mast, there are many tricks, his shirt was patched so many times, other men are on the team, too, I am drinking, I have the resolution, go to bed and be fresh in the morning, the boy left his room for the street, it was early and the islands were scary, he felt different, no great occurrences occurred, no women, no wife, no fish, no contests of strength, only the boy sitting in his car, as a fisherman, who sets sail and apologizes to his friends who are also sailing the ocean, who love the sea and are exact and don’t panic, when a bullet hits their unintelligent eyes, or when they run out of sardines, they are delicate and are traveling to the north-west at noon, from Havana and cannot wait for the sunrise, they shut their eyes and dream of flying fish, with their pectoral fins and how they fly high above the water as they jump into the air, and see eagles flying beyond the mountain, as the breeze hits them, the fishermen are brothers and they are happy at the height of the sky, the moon, and the stars, they no longer feel the need to take up weapons, or use wood as a bow,
May 13th 2018
David Zavala Nov 2018
He smelt the flowers
For humanity, I suppose
The joy he felt though
David Zavala Nov 2018
The pinatera in Austin
colorless skyrockets in bright blues
A promise made to fold the sheets

The fire sits behind the phone booth
An old lady in a grey sweater
"why would you take me here?"
(My apartment)

Are we ignorant or is Argentina *****?
The dirt on the ground, flag-blue and white
the walls that border the sheet lights
white wedding gowns, candles lit to my
blessed Mars, every scene is an image
of death I tell you in Allen's voice! I
could write essays about each scene! Poor
woman standing outside red building with a
slightly open window in Argentina. A medium
to Neil Postman - the message is you!

Be silent yellowlegs hippie sandals on beach yellow book
of pianos. I thought we were modern? Wrapped in blankets, blondes,
unshaven with my wrist watch on John Cage says he's frightened by old ideas so we push the envelope forward. You an artist damp sheet synapse connecting me to millionaires. Old bird houses and streets canary to birthday parties. We walked alone in the desert, sandy rocks and tumbleweed - a home theater - from Mexico to America. We were loveless so we decided to take a plane to Fiji. The plastic on the trees, snakes under rocks, loud sound of Darfur! We were models with beers cans on the walls, shelves, broken light fixtures, paintings for two, empty baskets, bar stools, doorways to the room. An interlude! My sister eating cake, I swear! It's a cubist painting! A cubist painting! Look at the geometry on the walls - so complex/ Our tools were our background, the sky was empty, it needed more color I said walking through the university, "I need a big gallon of water and a lot of money." "Can you protect me?" I certainly can't - I laughed.

Downtown in San Antonio
sat three blind mice
dressed
in ponchos and Spanish dresses
Black rights you say? We
took a small RV to another
city, it was hot, less though than
it was in Argentina. Fiji was
nice and had waterfalls, there were
tables near the beach. With valor we
uncrippled the image of time and arrived
at a trashcan painted with a yellow stripe.
Whole families - really only a single boy on
the ground in a red sweater surrounded by
filth - saying do better - I do! Little boy
I do care for your heath. He was gorgeous.
She sat down looking at a piece of plastic
- a horse - and we smiled. We wake and focused
on the microwave. The stove was nice. I was loud.
The switch on the wall hurt. The Queen Bee in the
store lost my money. He was tall. She was handsome.
I don't like Burroughs. At 44 I never grew up.

We looked back in the mirror - saw ourselves
And passed a muslim woman - the mountains were large
In another movie he died so in this poem he'll be pink
and will hold his arms out to men - ironic before me
asking myself how the white clouds which reflect the
green grass could juxtapose my middle-class house.
Your shoes were Asiscs - the expensive malls were mysterious.
We were young and left the better for a three story
building in Miami - but I enjoyed it. The people in
San Francisco weren't nice, but I remember playing guitar
in a corner by myself. The hostel and the flowers, I took a
picture on the third floor when I arrived. And David
why did he lick his lips? I was enamored by the magazines
offered by the U.S. mailbox - HEB produce - my sad face -
mother why can't you see? "In the backseat" is a
mountain less window with pictures on the wall and chairs I
sit on, books to my right, camera in front, reefs above
the chimney, and tons of tokens, from all the places we've
visited. Outside the wind blows. Months passed windowless parks.
Little homes made of puzzles and angels.
David Zavala Nov 2018
I made a mistake! I admit it. There was a lot of sense but in particular the language of William James is quite beautiful, animate or inanimate. The living constitution of our fore fathers is nothing but a brief and wondrous time, I suppose, our past motives are nothing but an image of a big large world - and it is complicated and Virginia Woolf does agree but says nothing.

Because it is complicated, the men of learned ages who only speak of a solid nature are on the whole an affirmation of a matter related to wisdom. There a concept! An antiquated matter but serves only as time in a corruptible emotion, a pure eruption of being into a disposable irritable master piano. The people, nakedly sit in their living rooms, the subject is no object - he is alive, I am nervous, a traveller and a brother, a dead friend, lost, a classical insight, something arguable - an expression of Virgil, I'm sure of it.
David Zavala Nov 2018
RIVER

the kitten is near a small painting, it had many days to await
us a true painting & black & white, greyhound dogs

ROOMS

held in his bed there was a turn table, it had a lot of knobs.
he had long hair - no name - stolen book awards.

IN THE LIBRARY

Hunter S Thompson painted the house, the interior walls were thin and sound proof, her walls were dark brown, they were rich and flavorful.

THE BEACH

we found several diamonds, we waited for eternity, in parks I wore a purple shirt, the light bulb
David Zavala Dec 2018
it's visual anthropology, I swear.
it's everything can't you see!?
I'm on my bed.

I had a great dream about you,
I'll even say it, you said you'd make love to me,
so I anxiously listened to Pull My Daisy by Allen Ginsberg afterwards, he certainly was mad but was genius but I do care about my health, though.

So, I ordered the speeches of Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King. Lincoln said a lot, he advanced a conversation but appeared to lord over the common man, the man who works in the field, the man who goes to war to fight. Martin Luther King didn't say much, although Common says freedom is free.

I smoked a cigar and poured some orange juice, too. I can now smell the cigar and enjoy orange juice. I saw a white bug outside and felt deep. The specific kind, unknowable. I'm nervous tho' about today. I have to be up at five AM. I could sleep more but I won't, instead I'll write a clear and coherent prose-poem about the circus because I do care about my health. I will love myself and maybe take a shower because I do care about my health. Molly Casey, who knows, I forgive you if you forgive me, and if whoever said "ugh" apologizes, I'll be happy. But first, or later, we'll have to  accept that life is unfair, and that you have to be professional to make it through.

Here, look it, I'll tell you everything and more, and all the time, if you tell me I'm sane and beautiful.

How badly do you want bad? I want bad, sometimes. I want good more often that's why I do this dear Molly Casey. And when you said you'd sleep with me, did you think? No, I don't think you thought and I don't think you mean it. No, when you said you'd make love to me, in my dream, did you think? No, I don't think you did. But know, you inspired me. As a conciliation for my inability to be profound, or for being too profound, or too much of a thinker, or for being overly cautious, I want you to know that biology is interesting and that when I write several words down in my poem book and in my phone to use later, I think I'm working.

Here are those words:

1. faced
2. changed
3. is
4. cognitive
5. multiple
6. vision
6. droplet
7. positive everyday experience
8. I lie
9. ought to listen to that song
9. cause
10. zeal
11. prudence
12. in the dust
13. self-criticism
14. work
15. chill Castro
16. not SA - SF although SA isn't bad
17. me
18. my friends
19. All encompass dropper
20. Only human
21. All too human

2:38 AM December 12th 2018
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