your boyfriend should be glad your his
i wish he knew how lucky he is
to be yours and not the loser writing poems
do you make him feel at home?

does he have a past the binds him
to not do what others did to him?
does he only feel normal with you?
guess he is better for you

than i could ever be
why do i still want you with me?
why is it, i know you deserve better
but i want you still, yea you deserve better

**** me around
just throw my life upside down
everyone else does
don't ask me why it, its just cause

what the hell man
spin me around more,
let me look like a fan
i keep heading for the door

but get ****** back in
by you and your *******
by you and my "friend"
and friends, i'd rather be hit

in the face with a chair
i am am yelling at the sky
ripping out my hair
sometimes i just want to die

**** me around
just throw my life upside down
everyone else does
don't ask me why it, its just cause

you drive me insane
you can't make up your mind
i want some stability, not this pain
but this topsy tervy bull crap is all i can find

everyone make up you mind and pick
should i stay or should i go
should i leave or stick
around, man i don't know

**** me around
just throw my life upside down
everyone else does
don't ask me why it, its just cause

me being with her i honestly doubt
cause what you suppose to do
when the words don't come out
and all your feelings are true

i don't need a second chance
just for one moment true
i want just a chance
for me to have you

i used all my tricks on you
none of which have any effect
i wish it was just me and you
and that your friends would accept

if me and you got together
for me it wouldn't different, i only see you
we may not be forever
but to you i would always be true

if not for you i wouldn't write
i would still be a dork
stuck in those old useless fights
and i wouldn't work

as hard as i do
because girl
for you i want to be true

Step up or step aside
go left or right but pick a stride
make a decisions, do not falter or you will get hurt
just lead

I know dear, that I've upset you
And I know the reason is valid
But I'm sorry baby, and I love you.
Please don't leave me alone with myself
I would not be able to make it,
Help me, from myself
Like you have been.

a word of advice i have kept close to my mind
and think of it when i start to unwind
"Let it come natural"
which is great advice i guess
but when you do it, and people make you feel like less
well guys ignore them, cause they are just petty
"Let it come natural"
i cannot promise that things will go your way
or that your problems will go away
but i can promise that you will never feel fake
"Let it come natural"
and show this world what your made of



I met a girl, and i have a bad rep
but that does not mean i should take a step
to her and ask out for a date
i mean better now then to be late
so i thought for a while about what to do,
and the back off my mind said "just be you"
but why do i feel like i'm not worth her time?
and why do my thoughts come out as rhymes?

I talked to my friends and they all said the same
to Let it come natural, even if that is lame

Let it come natural"
which is great advice i guess
but when you do it, and people make you feel like less
well guys ignore them, cause they are just petty
"Let it come natural"
i cannot promise that things will go your way
or that your problems will go away
but i can promise that you will never feel fake
"Let it come natural"
and show this world what your made of

let me be happy leave me out of your crap
i finally get some peace from stupid crack
comments, you got ruin it with a stupid trap
of a statement and then go on attack?

does it give you joy
knowing that you treat me like a toy
is it just cause i am a stupid boy
that you won't allow me any joy

i want to scream
i need to let off some steam
i want to get in a fight
i hope i die tonight

i am broken and need a fix
and you are up to your usual tricks
you make me want to flip
i want to punch you in the lip

you are worse than the worst pain
you swear to everyone i am insane
watch your back
so you fall under attack

because i will not cut you any slack
but i will cut down your back
so take a second and think
before i crash your head into a sink

Parents, you must understand
That I do no wish I be alive,
But will not die by my hand
For acceptance and happiness I strive

I desire to be accepted for myself
And strive to be happy so others
Are not depressed by my wasted self
To be happy is a challenge, why bother

For my sisters I still draw breathe
For they woul not understand my death
But you should know my life
Is not lived for myself

you leave me notes and surprises
and you make me feel whole
I wish to do the same,
but since my handwriting is

not legible, i have to type you a poem:

Dear,
You make me feel, well
i can't describe the level
of happiness you put me
at, you are my heart
for with out you,
i am empty inside
you are my soul
because without you
I am a shade, no thoughts
no hopes, your my morality,
because with out you i am
truly a terrible person

I do not know  when you will
see this,  but know i mean
every word of it
Sincerely Jdl

"let it come natural"
you were there for that song
so be slow, when you fall
for someone, who keeps ******* a ****

try meeting others,
and stuff i guess
meet someone who treats you like a brother
i mean someone who is ate ease

with you and it feels natural
not someone who makes it a rollor coaster
and yea i know i have not a single ball
when it comes to my crush, and i won't be a boaster

but man take things slow

Feeling lonely like this, feels terrible
feels worse when you know it's your fault
you feel this way, your fault for your mistakes
you made.

Is the best thing that could
have happened, it has took one blade
out of my back, where you placed it.
I have been able to have my
broken limbs, and treat them as i
wish, without you fussing
over why I had them,
no more lies about my potential
no more lies about the good in me

the good in me died, when you held
my hand, and kissed my lips
and tried to build me up as your pawn
after tearing me down.

I wallow in my misery you say,
no i revel in it, accepting it,
and not lying that it is not what i deserve
it is what i deserve for once loving you,
but now where that love was,
is now teh acceptance that I am alive
to die, hopefully honorably,
but probably shamefully, by my own hand.

To think if you hadn't destroyed the sliver
of light in this soul that is now black
maybe I would not be this way,
or maybe I would still turn this way

so thank you, dear, you know who you are
when you read this, shoot for the stars,
so when your dream boat sinks
you will plummet to the ground below
and then you might see, how you took my heart,
and put where it was, a black hole

when you realize,
she loves to hate you,
and you hate to love her

Getting lows but now highs
Going home to dark skies
But that's on the inside
Outside my feelings do hide
And everythig looks fine

either extreme feelings for her or extreme hate
why is it likes this? why am i in this state?
i need stability
i need you and your soothing ability

with out you i swear
it its more then i can bear
i am going insane,
and can only feel pain

when you are not here
what is this? maybe i care?

Who knows my emotions?
Me
Who knows if i care or not?
ME
Who is trusted but can't trust?
Yet again me.

Stop assuming you know my emotions
or what my reactions will be,
just say what you need to
and not care about either

Before I was with you
I was just bad and sad human being
I could go on because I was apathetic
Now I realize I am just pathetic
Then you came into my life
And gave me these memories
Take them back, take them all back
The good, the sad, just all of them.
Before I didn't miss you.
Now all I do is think of you.

i am losing my mind
my sanity i cannot find
my brain i did not bring
i can't feel anything

what is wrong with me
why am i not free
your out of my life, i still can't breathe
i think i need to leave

this place, this home?
i lost my tome
my book
i cannot look

for because it seems that I
need to go to a corner and die

i am losing my mind
my sanity i cannot find
my brain i did not bring
i can't feel anything

your lips, are addictive
your body is mesmerizing
you touch sets me on fire
my heart beats for you

you hold my hand
my heart skips a beat
then you lay on my chest
and i feel at bliss

then our lips touch,
and a fire begins inside me
and consumes me
you are perfection dear
my mind can't stay off of you
you are my drug, when I go with out
seeing you i have withdraw symptoms
you are my happiness, my sanity
the only one I listen to
dare I say I love you?

"don't let your heart
guide your head in a fight
or you will lose to the dark
before you even embark"

My mind is racing, and palms sweating
Your eyes are gorgeous, and your hair is equally so

He still lingers in your thoughts
Every doubt possible is in my mind
All this in hopes that you will be mine
****, you are so divine

Your not some person
Your my sister, your my exact
opposite, I am a disease
you are the cure
i am the light
you are the darkness
we are the oppistes born to destroy the other

your a vampire
******* away everyone's life
i am a werewolf destroying everything
when we collide next, it will be a beautiful destructive
event, but for now dear sister, happy birthday

it is not my name but it represents to me
being humble, obedient, and subservient
that is not me, i am not that nickname
i am not everything it represents
from my past, i am not that person any
more, so why should i keep the name of him?

now I am disobedient, rebelious and i speak
my mind, i say what others will not,
the truth that no one wants to here,
even when the lie is what should be said
i can not sit here and grit my teeth
i have to say what is on my mind
or I am nothing but a *******, that
could not even **** himself

so friends do not call me that
or our friendship will be terminated
i hate being reminded of that time,
i hate that i was so stupid
and i let myself be that person

your single, i am single
but we barely even mingle
what the hell am i doing
i should be trying

but instead i do nothing
except for useless bluffing
that you see right through
beauty is you

in a physical form
when i am with you, my storm
that occurs in my mind
it just comes to a end

I tanned this summer
Tanned over my scars
So now only the ones
That I didn't inflict
Are visible

You left me alone, possibly when most needed
The next day I'm in te hospital and who
Is it that I want? Who do i need holding my hand?
Funning that I still wanted and needed you
Even though you left me when things got hard.

But still I miss you and still I want you.

Another sleepless night
Haven't slept in a week
Lacking any delight
Body growing weak
Out look remaining bleak

I have the maps to minds,
I know them inside and out
The rocky terrain and the smooth plains
But the map to your heart is unknown
I am a cartographer of sorts
But not the right guy for you

Others open up to me,
And let me know their feelings
The one thing i can not do
Hell I can't even tell my own feelings to me

friends, till the end
to watch each others back
you were my closest friend
i would protect from any attack

and after you switched moods so fast
i was left with a bad case of whiplash
you get mad and say you were just using me
it wasn't a secret, i knew you were, and be

cause i cared, i tried to make you happy over me
but still you couldn't let your heart go free
remeber being all over me? and then yelling at me
saying i am a sin and wrong for you, and to leave you be

but i was the only person on your side really
so good luck have fun, cause now i am done

one action, one movement
can make it all go away
i can't talk about it or vent
all my feelings and happiness, gone for more than a day

one movement, and i feel like i am not worth it
and it ruins my day, and makes me hate all
one action, and i just feel like *****
and all my feelings fall

into a dark unholy pit
and my shields come up
i hate this, and hate it
i want to bleed out, maybe fill a cup

i want to die, i want to confide
but i don't flee
cause with my demons i ride
by now you should flee

cause, to run,
to flee
to be done
it just is not me

i stand tall
i will not bow
i will not fall
i just don't know how

one action, one movement,
makes me ready to fight
i can't talk bout it or vent
but if i die tonight

i die fighting, and stand tall
my kind don't run
we don't fall
and beating you will be fun

One thing scares me, it is not guns or knives
Not even ravoneous vampires or demons or
Everything normal people fear

Fear, is not something that applied to me until i got you
Every fear i have now revovles
Around me losing you
Regreting this fear i do not, i will not lose you......will i?

One and the same,
we are both opiates,
filling each other with a buzz,
while bringing each other down

Girls, just lead you on and play you
misguiding you with words that may be true
or may be a lie, may be garbage
"your just a chapter, time to turn the page"

make you feel worthless,
thoughtless
a waste
and regret missing them like you do
they destroy you emotionally

One and the same,
we are both opiates,
filling each other with a buzz,
while bringing each other down

Boys just misuse
and abuse
everyone around them
while hoping she doesn't forget em

they want a girls love
but treat her like crap, not a delicate dove
they want held, but push away
they abuse girls to feel better at the end of the day

loosing themselves in the fray
we call love, and swear feelings never sway

or fade away into nothingness
make you feel worthless,
and at fault,not good enough thoughtless


One and the same,
we are both opiates,
poisoning each other in the name of attraction
love, but its just a fatal distraction.

I have never been alone,
Suffering is on my right,
Pain is on my left.

every time i see your photo, i get sad
and think and wish for what we had
but then remember i did it for you
so you could be happy, but i still envy you two

Tracing the floor, you just walked through the door
the nerve to talk to you escapes me
then reality slams into me, I am free
to do as I please, I know my fate
should I avoid it?  and accept that your lost forever?
never embrace it to my death
till I draw my final breathe.
I am not a leader, I am not a friend
but I was taught to keep going to the end
got to keep moving, got to keep losing my sanity
my faith in people, what do I do now that I have lost my mind
what keeps me from killing everyone? what keeps me from listening to the voices now?
what do I do now that I have lost you?

"What's your guilty pleasure",
Really are all pleasures not guilty?
They certainly feel that way
I have definitely paid for mine
Not with money but with pain
And blood

comment below on the poem
you think should help take home
a victory in a writing contest
which poem will succeed in this conquest

Pretty Faces, are what hide
the blades and weapons
that will leave the worst
scars on our souls.

Never trust a Pretty Smile,
It will hide the teeth that will
Ripe out your throat,
and leave your jugular bleeding out
The scars you left on mine,
left me begging for physical
scars in place of these.

everything comes at a price,
living, friends favors and gifts
i know the price of these
but not the price of being happy and to smile
it scares me, so i do not allow myself to do either

Broken and alone
I am surrounded by people
Yet I feel alone

I am physically whole
Yet mentally and emotionally shattered
Why is it like this, what made it
All this way? Why do people feel like this?

Today I was reminded of her soft skin
And holding her and sitting next to her
Was...unique, she left me hanging
And i don't know why but it excites me

The jokes, the effortlessness of it all
The teasing "time out". All  if it
Was like a sweet candy,
That left me wanting more

I swear if i get accused of cheating
one more time by people who know
nothing about what happened,
or haven't seen the messages

I will not resist the urges.
You were not there
What i did, personally and actually did
was apologize for what someone

did to her best friend
i did nothing but
rip his *** and apologize
to her,

"Hey i am sorry about his actions
and sorry for the crap we give
you sometimes, you are just fine
okay?" definitely cheating isn't it?

She is back, the voice the feelings
all of her is back, is she here to stay?
Or to make me suffer till she goes away?
why do i keep dealing with human beings?

She must be back for revenge
she must feel worthy to avenge
her emotions, of to hell we go
hopefully my discomfort does not show

Going back to hiding my emotions
thoughts and feelings, the time has come
to go back to being apathetic,
my humanity, should i ignore it?

She always brings out the worst in me
how to beat her at her mind games
that is what needs to be done
time to go think I guess then

ever time i think about the perfect girl she comes to mind,
yet all she wants to do is press rewind
And I'm tired of livin in the past.

Samantha, stop reading my poems to me,
i mean i know you like reading about yourself
but why are you doing this?

why are you reading my poems
that were meant for you
but then you say i cannot have these emotions
thanks -_-

here comes the season of sweaty palms
pretending to be cool and calm
barely passing tests, and trying to get the girl
will i be  a poser or give being myself a twirl?
no one knows till we get there
will she like me or will i be more than she can bear
will people make me bend backwards for them or this year will i finally tear?

who is ready for school
the land of posers and fools
will you be worth something or just a tool
well all this and more in this season of our lives