Just because the tides are rising
Does not mean that I will drown

I need to remind myself of this.

Because there are times I am but ankle deep
And I can feel my lungs filling up with water

Where do the words come from?
Before they pop up in my mind

Where do the words go?
When it seems I've run out of sentences to scribble

i am now lost
though not the way one is
when they take a wrong turn
for at least they were moving with intention

i am lost
in the sense
of having no direction
no destination to step towards
and this troubles me greatly

i am lost and in trouble
not the fun kind
i am not breaking any rules
but i can feel my soul breaking
becoming smaller with each passing day
for it knows i am not where i belong
though knows not
where to go

i have
always hated loud noises
the refrigerator dispensing ice into glass
the sound tubs make as water boils down
the treble in voices rising in opposition
all make me tremble
my heart jump
eyes dart for possible escape

if you only write
what others want to hear
you will never know your words

"you were a parade of red flags but I screamed colour blind from the rooftops.
you see,
scarlet is the colour of both love and betrayal."

i wanna watch over you
if that's okay
when's the last time you drank water
have you eaten today
you don't deserve
to feel so sick everyday
even when you're miserable
don't bury yourself in hate

you shouldn't need to brace
against your own fists
don't owe me anything
i'm here because i wanted this
you did do something today
you lived
and for me
thats the best gift you could give