i want to talk about you
to everyone i know
i want to shut my mouth
and keep you to myself
my heart flares up
explodes with thoughts of you
and i can't catch the words
and i can't catch my breath

I need to get you out my mind,
before I fall in love with you.
Because I know, you won't love me back.

two faces of a coin
two siblings of the heart
passion ignites both
but hurt is left in the wake of one
we forget that our hearts are not coins
the world is not so
it is a blessing and a curse
the things we feel
we do so with such conviction
and human emotion is filled with contradictions
and nothing but a hair separates love and hate
all the evidence you need can be found in a dagger in the back of caesar the great
in the burning of cathedrals, empires and states
but hate is not poison
it does not rot your soul
it is not love
it does not ebb and flow
it retires to the hidden chambers in between your ribs
you slam the door and throw the key

my friends i know don’t want me to stay
they can sense i feel the same way
in that i am unfit as a person
i do not want their help
& they do not want to help me
that’s how it’s still working

It started with my mother
“Cat, you are a beauty”
“You look like your father, with a touch of beauty”
“You look like your father, with a hint of me”
“You look like your father”

i’ve lived for so long already
feels like i’m already dead