I wanted to give her roses.
I wanted to call her mine.
My very sweet grandma.
My weak old grandma, mine.

She had a special garden.
We never were allowed to pick.
But then she wanted roses.
So we tried to take.

She was very willing,
She was very kind.
When she needed roses
We all went to find.

I wanted to give her roses,
But then I had to leave.
I wish I have her roses,
But they took her away from me.

All she wanted was roses,
Only a bouquet,
But we couldn't find them.
So we had to leave.

Roses. Roses.
We left to find them
Roses. Roses.
Know that I love you still.

-3nwlry

The tread farther into the dark.
Babies crying
Fathers dying
And all of them asking when.
When the sun will rise again
And the cold will be at an end.

They slowly start to fall down.
Now babies dying
Mothers crying
And all of them ask why.
Why they can't receive a home.
And why men tore it away.

They hear laughing and calling
Families loving
Friends embracing
All of them thanking God.
Thanking that they sent them.
Thankful they found a home.

-3nwlry

Waiting, wishing, wonder
Crawling, yelling, yonder
Wasting, walking, wander
"Time is money"
"Money is freedom"
I do not believe.

-3nwlry

Make me a time machine
To go over all they said.
I'm my head, in my head
They are screaming.
"Little liar"
"***** freak"
Do you see what they did to me?
Now I see. Now I see.
I am useless.

Make me a time machine
To fix the mess I made.
Now it's bad, it is bad
I don't get it.
"Stupid child"
"Cutter" "dumb"
Can't get leave me alone?
Now I see. Now I see.
I am worthless.

Make me a time machine
To understand what they did to me.
How can it be? How can it be?
I can't fix this.
I should have noticed
All of the turns, all the trials.
Now I see. Now I see.
I am broken.

-3nwlry

As I look upon the ticking clock
Questioning of I'll live,
I'm stuck wondering how they are.
The people that I left.
I wonder if they remember
Who I long to be.
If they recall
The faint memories,
Like music notes from old.

But even if they don't
They needed worry.
I will remember
All the days and nights
Even when you grow old.

I slowly begin to see
That they might not remember details.

But they remember me.

-3nwlry

Cause if the rain can tumbling down,
Would anyone care if I had drowned?
What's the point in friends?
What's the point in friends?
Cause they talk over you
When you try and tell them,
What you do you are scared and alone.
When you are upset and worried
If you'll see them again.
But they don't notice.
They don't notice you.
Am I invisible? Am I replaceable?
Cause there's no point in life
If you're always crying.
Just remember in life,
There's more than crying.
And there's no point in saying sorry
If no one will hear.
And there's no point in saying goodbye
If no one would care.
And I!
I don't want to hear it.
The "you'll be fines" and the "you won't crys"
I'm to scared to say goodbye.
Keep the convo going.
I want to be alone but I can't.
Don't leave me alone.

-3nwlry

They call me disaster,
Stupid, dumb, basic, cry baby,
Lame, ugly, impossible, failure,
Bland, plain, trash, nerd,
Crazy, ******, fake, dork,
Mistake, accident, brat, loser,
Bad, untalented, useless, forgettable,
Worthless, hopeless, shameful, tone deaf,
Cow, fat, insane, dull,
Incompetent, idiot, sick, gone,
Terrible, unbearable, diseased, tired,
Special, gross, unwanted, desperate,
Try-hard, whale, pig, liar,
Never enough, child, insecure, sad,
Scared, cutter, suicidal, friendless,
Invisible, waste, self absorbed, unloved,
Torn, replaceable, copy, runaway,
Snake, snitch, sneak, lazy,
Alone, unneeded, loud, unforgivable,
Annoying, attention seeker, weak, paranoid,
Clueless, low life, dense, dark,
Freak, mess, lost, disturbing,
Last choice, lost cause, slacker, bag lady,
Chubby, poison, horrible, sleepless,
Cockroach, gullible, sloppy, short,
Joke, cope out, foolish, selfish.

All in one name.
"Emily"

-3nwlry