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Mari Sep 2018
A blinding light enters a room
alighting her as a whole
feeling as if it's meant to be

She tries to hold the light
into the palm of her hands
as it seeps through
silently, like water

She holds the lingering
touch of it
close to her chest
as she hears a little voice

Her inner child
sending her words of comfort
to heal the wounds
from her past

She too now knows
that nothing can harm them
together they will overcome

The voice whispers into her soul
she feels her heart aglow
"Stay with me", she says
she didn't want to break this spell

Her soul speaking
feeling reassured
knowing that time will come

Their time will come
and it will never be too far
An old poem
Mari Sep 2018
I wish I had
the selflessness
the courage
to face death
the one that I'd predicted years from now

I want to run from it all
from my thoughts
that keep me in chains

From the misery that is 
my constant companion

How many relationships
will it take for me to see
that I am forever alone

When will I realize
that I am
to a point
unlovable
when all I 
really want 
is to be seen
and cherished
Mari Sep 2018
Can there be a deadline to living
when all you know about yourself
could never be truly accepted by your loved ones

When all others see you as 
is a piece of meat
to devour
or a soul 
to shatter for their own
twisted entertainment 

Too many nights
I've wished for death to take me
but every morning I lie awake
overcoming the shadows 
of fear and insecurity

But it will never be over
Mari Sep 2018
A dysfunctional
victim of her own mind
embracing her self and life
one minute
disposing all that she is
the next

When will this come to an end 
when will I stop living
so everlasting sleep 
can save me
from all that I am

I just want to disappear
yet I long to truly be seen
and embraced
Mari Sep 2018
Security is what I crave
and words that
allow me to express
my deepest needs,
my darkest fears,
and unfathomable longings

Enveloped by frisson
as certain words
seep, like silk
into my veins
and there
lies everlasting
serenity 
all that I am
Mari Aug 2018
Why am I so capable
of destroying myself
in ways that most
can never understand

A constant reminder
I give myself
that I am nothing
yet something

My heart expands
as vast as the sky
I only long
for the that one person
who would decipher my every motions
when insecure
who'd value my every flaws
and scars on my skin

I pray for the night to take me away
knowing all I meet
is better off without me
intruding their lives

I long for that special someone
To take me away from myself
to resurrect me
from all that I am
all that I carry

This constant war
against my mind and heart
Mari Aug 2018
I feel it gradually
engulfing my sanity
piece by piece

I feel insanely vulnerable
just by recalling your figure
 in the darkness

By hearing your voice 
all over again
reliving the life-threatening 
fear that rushed in 
and out of my heart

It was the first
and last time
I'd ever sense 
time has stopped

My soul froze
and still remains 
how you left it that night

You may have forever 
shaped and scarred me
but I haven't lost myself
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