an illusion of the heart

it clouds your eyes

to the simple signs

that lead to the lies

of this broken art



a parasite of the mind

you believe this is bliss

from the first to last kiss

as you start to dismiss

the fact you are blind



so fly with your wings

and escape from that stage

to become quite assuaged

beyond all that rage

that's attached by strings



disintegrating, piece by piece

you start to decay

still smiling everyday

unaware you were just prey

to this creature who continues to feast



thus when the time is deserved

speak loud and clear

and ignore all the leer

from them and your peers

and all the attempts to make you unnerved



while the ties have been cut

and your vision has cleared

you're no longer adheared

to the leech that appeared

to be more than you thought



still this cycle remains

with the exception of few

who stick together like glue

but that will be you

when, vanished is the pain

this is the problem, you see. i hate orange flavoured things, but don't mind the fruit or the colour itself. i despise chocolate flavoured items as well, but will never complain if a whole bar fell into my lap. i cannot decide if it is the simple idea of disliking the watered down version of the original thing that irks me the most, or if it is something more. perhaps it is the very thought of a half truth - an illusion, if you may - that disgusts me, because these things will never be as good as the real, original item to me. you are the same, i have realised; years of sporadic vanishing and reappearing have not wavered my feelings for you, and all the people i have tried to replace you with pale in comparison.

i might be capable of lying to everyone around me, but i cannot do it to myself or you. the funny thing is that you know this, as much as i know it too. for we are vulnerable as we are broken, and somehow deep down in the darkness where we sink we are guided by the same light, which always brings me back to you, and you to me.

-

"how have you been?"

i miss you in ways i cannot even begin to describe. i miss you the way sleep lingers in our eyes as the dawn breaks, and i miss you when our song comes on. i miss you the most when the storms arrive or when a joke is made and i turn around expecting to see your accompanying smile, but meet empty air.

the truth is, i'm lost. i miss you completely, terribly, unbelievably so, and it eats at me every single day.

"just fine."

i put on the biggest smile i can muster and walk away.

(A.H.Z)

our friend found a painting of a naked guy
riding a horse that looked exactly like you.
and this spitting image made me think of
the different lives that you lived before you
found me in mine.
i need to believe that we have lived before this one,
that we'll continue to live after this one.
i need to know that the olive in your skin
is built up sun from the first time you stepped outside
from every life before this one.
that your eyes got progressively more blue from
every time you watched the sea.
and your stretch marks on your back remind me of lashings
and i hope that you never suffered before this
and that you will never suffer after this.
your crooked bottom teeth remind me of
fallen empires and crumbling ruins.
i think of you in the 1800s,
your taste for caramel pulling your
perfect teeth side to side.
when i look at you i cannot believe
that you made it to me at all.

11:43 P.M.
*Wednesday/July 9/2014

Follow that burning you feel in your bones. That tingle of pure fire running through your veins
Ignite your soul.
there is so much I would love
to see

These trees
wrap their arms around my blossoming soul; my true home found in the purest laughter of the wind
and the dancing call of the creek

I am you and you are me

                                 we are everything

To be anything. Moment. Living present to recieve our presence. You are only ever here. Now. Embrace the breath found in these rolling forests
our glittering banks
Embrace your breath.

We are freedom. Living simply, living peacfully. We are love. Embrace this moment always.

The sun brushes kisses upon my upraised face
bringing warmth to my soul
opening in delicious appreciation of the wonderful heat that he is.
Everyday. bestowing kisses and asking nothing in return.
What can be more beautiful
then that?

Take this body. Release tension. Breath deep. Breathe to remind. You are anything. Everything. Take your body and live in your truth. Imagine if you did, how free you would be!

My soul is expanding, wide open hugging the earth in all her glory. So diverse, so intricate, so simple. She is everywhere. Fingers of wind running through my hair, salty kisses of the ocean, brushing my toes. The burbling laugh of mountain streams hopping rocks in their journey of release.
There is no search. There is only now, and the enjoyment of the chickadee calling goodmorning to the toes of sun running between the cedar trunks. There is only now. Breath.

I am you and you are me.

                          **we are everything

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet,

And whither then? I cannot say.

Why could we not be honest-
how messed up-
our world was.
Saved us the trouble-
of the hard way.

If you find me broken by the road
Don't put me back on track.
That's what got me here in the first place
And I'm not going back.
Instead, give me an encouraging word
A pat on the shoulder,
A smile.
That'll help me get by on my own
If only for a little while.

see test your thoughts of solid forward plans
does your mind spiral down into evil?
try looking into your future again
and take the path into peace
this is the road to travel
mind and spirit agree