Pinching my arm
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't let them see
Ow
Not enough
Don't cry
Don't cry
Pinch
Harder
Harder
Something interrupts me
"You okay?"
She asked
Didn't believe me when I said I was
She wrapped her arm around me
It fell at my waist
She held it
As if to say "It's okay now, I've got you"
Gently
Finally someone gentle
Room dark
Only midnight
I usually wait a few hours to sleep
But it was different
I didn't need to do anything
I could just be there
Let myself be held
For the first few minutes
I was tense
Thinking about how sleep seemed so far
And how the monsters were too close
But then I realized
I was okay now
I can exist in someone's arms
No one was trying to hurt me
But it was hard to believe at first
For the only touch I know is aggressive
Angry
But this one was safe
And I just let myself be there
By the end
I just enjoyed the fact someone cared
Someone didn't hate me
At least enough to be so close
This wasn't threatening
This was safe
This was kind
This was gentle
My friend slept over yesterday and I was having a hard time but she was great and just cuddled me. I'm not used to that, but it was great.