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CantSeeMe Jul 31
everybody's smiling in my mind
rumors spreading about a happy life

but you don't understand
it's your time to stand
give me your pain
I’ll turn it into rain
you'll be the sun
the rain will bow
its happening slow
it has begun

Did you forget? You can't be depressed.
rule number one, when you're masking it all
so let me take your pain
you’ll know fame
there's a world around here

cause that should be me
standing there
that should be me feeling so bad
that should be me lonely and sad

that should be me
that should be me

that should be me breaking apart
that should be me remembering the past
that should be me, it's going so fast

go on your way
it's only one day
make it the best
then get some rest

the sun you are
you’ve made it this far

that
should
have
been
me
Based on the song "That Should Be Me" by Justin Bieber. The original is about heartbreak, but I just wanted to make it clear, even if you're hurting, you still deserve the world. You are the sun, just watch it rain, and trust that a rainbow is coming. I'll take your pain...
  Jul 30 CantSeeMe
C J MILLER
there's screaming behind my skin
but nobody believes me,
I tell them that someone must have hid a body under my skin,
not dead - very alive
they tear through my skin trying to get out.
and sometimes give up
they leave me in peace for a while
only to come back when I least expect it.

The little person attacks me at night
keeping me awake
begging to be let out
I never do
and so he cries

sometimes this little person almost escapes
and out slips a word or a burst of emotion
then I push them back down
"they must have been put there for a reason?"
or so I hope.

There are times that I wonder
"Who locked this little person away?"
"Why?"
"Who is this fellow?"
but I remain ignorant to the answers

Then one night
the little person stopped begging
I asked what was different
he simply looked me in the eyes and
calmly asked why I kept myself locked away
in the dark.

I was the warden of this poor fellows prison
and I was the one who threw him there.
This poem was really hard for me to write simply because of the point of view, so my bad if it doesn't make so much sense...
  Jul 30 CantSeeMe
C J MILLER
I hurt you?
I dessert you?
Break you?
Make you hate you?
Sacrifice you?
Turn you?
Regret you?
What if I manipulate you?
Spurn you?
Burn you?
What if you do this to me?
But even worse...
What if I love you?
And take you back with no hesitation.
I know the risk you've done it all before
And I still cant help
But fall.
  Jul 30 CantSeeMe
C J MILLER
Tempting as it is I will not give in
Of course, there is no excuse.
Obliterated conscience continues to hesitate

Lapse in judgement could end it
All of it
Try as I might to stay nice
Every thing I've worked for is thrown out.
TOO LATE
  Jul 30 CantSeeMe
C J MILLER
I had a problem
I was addicted to fitting in.
even though I knew the odds are slim,
I looked as though I should've be part of "that" clique.
but I was just too different,
I hated sports
I loved to dance
I was too loud
I loved a good fight
...
I was socially awkward
I still am
It's not my fault
my mind was built different
I realized that soon enough
but only after the damage was done
I hid my true self
I started working out
I stopped dancing
I never spoke
I let myself get bullied
all so I could be popular
...
Looking up "How to glow up" on YouTube
buying clothes that I hated
and never really being satisfied with the results
...
and here I am today
still as lame
and uncool
and boring as the next person
all because I couldn't love myself
fitting in doesn't matter
  Jul 30 CantSeeMe
C J MILLER
I see the sky blue as sea,
Sprinkled with clouds, there they be.
I lay on this soft plain.

Feeling no such important thing
Other than ultimate peace
I see the sky blue as sea,

Many struggle with a wrinkle in their suit
When they should go with the heavenly flow
I lay on this soft plain.

Come lay on this soft plain
And contemplate where we belong
I see the sky blue as sea,

Watch the clouds keep flying by
As they keep watch over, us bundles of nerves
I lay on this soft plain.

Close your eyes and breathe deep, close your brain
Try to go to sleep, dream
and see the sky blue as sea,
lay on this soft plain with me
  Jul 30 CantSeeMe
C J MILLER
"Forever"
but that means, eternity
I suppose that happiness can feel like an eternity.
love is a minefield, be sure to watch your step
because at one moment your dancing
and the next your legs are gone.
I suppose I could have been more literal,
I mean who actually lasts forever?
I learned the hard way that I ought to be saying
Maybe Never.
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