The emptiness within.
The longing for something greater.

And yet the total lacking that is deeply embedded inside my mind.

Why does it have to be this way.
Is there no one who will receive.

And yet hope lies with those who don't even know they provide it.

Maybe there is a chance that something will change.
I know I have the ultimate say in the end.

A glass, half full
Slides down the wooden surface
and sits comfortably in your hand.

A new glint in your eye,
as the jazz band plays
and the old patron snuffs out another cigarette

Something like hope it seems.

A new urge to fulfill the pursuit of happiness,
funny that it was born in such an unsuspecting place.

I guess it's true what they say about clouds and silver linings,
just a shame it had to wait till now.

Isolation is protection
Protection is aloneness
Aloneness is sorrow
And sorrow leads you back
Back to those you love.

'Merely misunderstood' he used to think, but now realises the problem lies much, much deeper.

The chains tighten as he clambers for a breath of air, holding him prisoner for the appeal of an audience.

Kept alive for the entertainment of others.

Later in the night, when the crowd was gone, and the creature was left alone to his tears, and bloodied body.

A man approached him in his solitude.

The answer to his problems?

Or perhaps, just a gateway to more.

That remains, a mystery.

Why
do
I
bother
?

I think they’re gone

But

I can still hear faint traces of wandering sound.

Trying to tell me different things.

I think i’m safe for now.

As far away as possible from the demons.

Each time having to face them. Telling myself I am in control.

If it wasn’t for the lights in the dark then I’d surely be lost.

A puppet of my own mind.

Thanks to them, I’ve once again made it out.

I'm trying hard.

To some people it comes more naturally, but too me,

I'm in way over my head.

I do think I'm doing something with the right intentions though, but I just don't know how to do it the correct way.

It's frustrating, and infuriating, and I think I've already messed up.

Might as well quit while I'm ahead.

The darkness within ones self is truly terrifying,
And knowing that darkness, and facing it,
May be even more terrifying.

Confronting the deepest parts of our subconscious.

We have all had these battles with ourselves.
At the time winning or losing may seem incomparable
to the pain you might feel.

But facing our monsters, and telling them that we are the ones who are truly in control,
Can give us the strength to conquer the world.

You can win.

As the light fades,
Fear tends to manifest itself in various forms.

Simple things, like the beast under your bed.
A flicker in the corner of your eye, or a noise you swear you heard.

Or maybe it runs deeper.

Crawling under the sheets, whispering in your ear.

Misleading your dreams, and turning them into nightmares.


Begging for the sunrise to come, but when it does,

The realisation that it will

never

stop.

Each night, plagued by the same fears as before.

The daytime spent, with only momentary satisfaction.

And once again,

Night falls. Madness dawns.

Does anyone really know
The Real Me
?

The beast, a creature that once stood tall and proud, is now mocked by the chains, and people, that hold it.

The children, who would've once cowered in fear, now point and laugh as it struggles hopelessly.

The shadowed figures in the background exchange goods just like any other day.

'Bring down the monster' the crowd cheers.

The Mask comes on and off in it's own time.

I don't get to choose.

The Mask drives people away.

People I don't want to lose.

The Mask mocks me.

I fear that soon I won't be able to force it off.

How do you tell someone when they are wrong?

Is it better to just let what is so deeply ingrained carry on?

I suppose it's the easiest thing to do.

To let your courage take a rest whilst the underlying problem persists.

Never weakening, never fading, but only gaining more control over it's host.

And all I can do is watch.

A bystander to the destruction caused,
and a victim.

What is the right answer in a situation with no positive outcome?

Being aware of how little you know.
Is a truly smart thing.

'Maybe it was my fault'.

'I should've known this would happen'.

It seemed that now, the end was in sight. Everyday was just a slow advance of time, he thought would bring him his doom.

But,

He wasn't getting off that easy.

Each day, just like the last. A wall of pain all around him.

Just up there, around the bend
Is the thing that people have been telling you about your whole life

you're unsure how to feel about it
but there it is anyway

relentless
unyielding

on a continuous path with it's destination set to you.

Now it's up to you how to deal with this thing. you can shrink

run away

hide inside a familiar place and make no progress

The easy path

Or

you can stand tall
stand resolute

try with all your heart to do what is right, and make yourself proud

The hard path

The choice is yours.

Well looks like it really is over now

No one to blame but myself

again.

No ones fault but mine

again.

Had one good thing and I lost it.

All throughout my life it seems things like this keep happening.

I seem to be the variabe causing chaos for me and others around me.

But I'm trying to not let it whittle me down.

The mood inside is so dreadfully low, but the stiff upper lip must remain.

Realize that your actions, affect those around you.
Realize that suffering, pain, and loneliness are all parts of life,
But they do not define who you are.
Realize you have the potential for greatness.

W A K E  U P

Everyone looks the same
until you get to know them

My home is gone.

The world I knew and all those who came with it have perished. Now I am all that remains.

The heat of the day and the chill of the air at night have altered things in ways that I cannot describe.

I fear that madness has gripped my soul. Each day feels like an hour, and each hour passes so quickly.

All the meandering and aimless purpose that I pursue is for nothing.


It seems that even the dust that surrounds me has a destiny far greater than I.

Perhaps if I endeavor to leave my somber nightmare things could change. Leave it for pastures and people unknown.

However, I don’t think I can muster the strength nor the courage.

Both of those have long since faded and mixed with the sand beneath my feet. I know deep in my bones that is what I must do.

But perhaps it is buried too deep. Deep beneath the colorless ocean of flesh that sits atop my breaking body.

To find it would be a miracle.

Redemption or dismay lies ahead. The fortunes of the world lie in the palm of your hand. Seek and you shall find. Turn a blind eye and you will perish never realizing the true potential of your being.

It seems the madness has truly intertwined with my soul.
My face is no longer my own.
My persona is out in full force.
Each day I question my own reason for being.
My own reason for living.

My mind is a maze I can no longer traverse alone.
I often get lost in those grand hallways of my cruel imagination,
and I fear that soon I may get led astray and never find my way back.

What is this feeling?

This painful longing.

This imposing dread.

This endless terror.

.

I am afraid.

So very afraid.

I do not know what to do.

Sometimes I feel as if I am not even human.

I cry, but no tears fall from my face.

I weep, but no sound leaves my mouth.

What is this feeling?

What have I become, but a walking carcass where a man once was.

.