I hate this feeling,
I hate the meaning.
Of the words you're saying,
Of the words I'm saving.

There are no movies,
that will ever beat the swimming frames of my own imagination.
There are no actors,
that will ever express the way a character truly feels.
There are no visual effects,
that will ever be more real than the flashes and waves in my head.
There are no place,
that is "just alike".
There are not a single movie adaptation
that will ever be better than my own private movie,
the one which goes on behind my eyelids
streaming in my imagination as I read,
not feeling like I'm reading at all.
I wish every person had this feeling at least once in life
If someone told you "watching it's better"
well, that's a lie.

-To all adaptations who killed someone's reading.

I avoid thinking about you
and all you want us to be.
I give excuses about why we can't meet
but deep down, I just don't want you here.
Because when I stop to pretend about my little happy life
aren't you the one by my side.
It isn't you who made up the words I write,
much less the reason of my loose smiles.
I want to like you,
but you ain't her.
I want to like you,
but can I call it love, if it doesn't burn?
I want to like you,
but when I am with you it feels wrong.
I want to like you, I swear
but pushing me to fall in love
without wanting you at all
it's too much to bear.

-I wish I could control my feelings.

Take all of me,
take all the good things.
No, don't you even think about it!
Of course you can take my body.
Here, have a few of my soul too,
a bit of dedication and time above of it,
especially for you.
Get a big slice of my heart,
I swear to write you my greatest bars.
Take my biggest smile along for the ride,
be the owner of every thoughts and words that I'll write.
In return, can I be by your side?
Because I would trade all I am, body and soul for your attention and pleasure,
so don't be shy, I promise you'll like the flavor.

- I write like you haven't already taken all of me (even what you shouldn't).

I have killed the myself I was yesterday

and saw as a new me were born alongside with the sun.

Would do better than the past me,

undo the bad that I have done.

But the new me wasn't much better

because it was me, after all.

I was trying to step up and give you all a good show

but my new deck fell away with the first wind blow.

Not better.

Not faster.

Not smarter.

Ended up I have killed the old me

for a fantasy that I wished to reach

someone that I will never be.

-******