That I won't read the end of A Song Of Ice And Fire
That life got harder after eighteen, when it should get easier
That no mystic creature showed up to take me to Camp Half-Blood
And most of all things
I just can't believe that after all these years
I'm still writing about you

- Do you even remember I exist ?

There's blue
There's green
There's purple in you
And red down his knees

There's that fun yellow in your arms
And a touch of black under her eyes
I search for the white of your hands
But they've disappear under the light

I miss the orange
It keept it a little lighter
Now we're left with gray
And empty ink bottles piled higher and higher

Water through my hands,
wind through my hair.

The resource I lacked the most,
and now I have time
coming at me in bulk
But the amount of free time drowns me.

Then next the realization,
isn't the amount of time I have that matters
its what I make out of it

I just spiral
all the possibilities;
I could write a book,
I could finish reading those,
I could beat up a game,
I could learn a new language.

And the more I spiral with the possibilities
time rushes right pass me
till I have no time left

And I just keep tightening the spiral
Spiraling down

Once again I see waves on the pathway
Out of heat burning down on us
Times like these give me certain
If I were Icarus
The sun wouldn't melt my wings
Instead it would fall apart
Out of ocean humidity based on low flight
And I would die happy on the embracing cold waters
Out of the sun's hands

I came to that point
Where there's no turning back
I either go
Or go
So I take a deep breath
I hold hands with my fear
And kick my legs forward
With my best fake brave face
Taking all of me to keep my jaw up

And I go

My words
My home
My pain
My hurt

A bit piece of it
Makes the entire of it
I'm still learning how to let go
Of the things that are mine

- little by little I'm unloading

Don’t get too ambitious,
This path can trap you fast.
"Icarus burned down,"
And I can feel the flames cast.