I thought I was free-falling for you,
It turns out I'm paying for every second of it


- Yet you never mentioned your price

I'm so much
At the same time - so little
I do not comprehend who I was yesterday
I do not know certainly who I am today
And I can't tell if it's excitement or fear
for who I'll be tomorrow

All I know is uncertain
Thought I would stand my ground
For this or for that
But when the travel starts
I change my path
Who I am
And who I want to be
Doesn't seem to intertwined

I write down how I feel
I read it out
Trying to make out sense
Of whose stranger is on these lines

I want to be so many things
I pursue so many paths
I try to be all kind of people in one
And in the end that's the result
In the end - I am no one

Your hair is long again
As a black vasel
Running through my hand

Your eyes grew fiercely
Staring into mine with no hesitation
I wouldn't be surprised if they read me

Your smile is softer now
Learned a thing or two about empathy
Became a better you somehow

Does your hands still looking for mine?
Its not like I'm looking for a fight

I just need a answer
And I can't complete focus on you
When my mind is going to "we were"

Just tell me
I promise to pretend I don't mind
If you throw me a lie

Lie to me
So the lie I tell myself
Become a little more believable

- we could have built it all side by side...

It is still you.

Sun and wind
When I got to your location
We greeted
As past wasn't screaming
Coffee time
Small talk
How have you been?
Your hair is longer
And this is were we are
Table talk
We're older now
Not bedroom gossip
Table talk
How are your parents?
And about work?
Ignoring the real questions
We want to make so badly
Because real questions
Aren't suitable
For adults table talk

She feels like a blindfolded walk
That I keep going forward nevertheless

- Maybe she's the mermaid voice leading me towards drowning

I can't identify where the pain comes from
If it's from frustration
or anger
If it's the effect of being worn

I can't tell why I cry so much
May be paying for all the years
Where not a tear would run

I thought I could do so much better
That I could be much more
Perhaps thought I was clever
Perhaps thought I could open the door

Now I'm hurt
I'm angry
I knew I would end up
Here eventually

Nor the dusk ease me
Much less the dawn
Constantly empty
It's scary to think about