I take a long bath
I convince myself the feeling won't last
I wait for the water to heal
My eyes get red, they know the drill
I wash my cheeks
It's been weeks
I drown my head
Thought I could bear
I let it down my back
Next hours I'll be numb on bed
I try to wash it away
But I dont think I can

-will I forever feel this *****?

You built me up as smart
Now you calling me a fool
You make fun
You make the promises a blur
Maybe I am dumb for letting it sinks
That I am so smart and unique

You stocked yours words in my mind
You didn't let me even think
Now I'm here
Getting the waves standing in my feet
I should never fell for your words
All you did was pull me backwards

-I hate it when I feel dumb

Off all the things I said
"I will do it no more "
At the top of the list is
"Do not beg for love"

- don't be upset, I'm just following rules that have been preset

When it's all done
They gonna say they did care
They don't understand
They didn't see it coming
They could never knew what was going on
Oh
But how could you?
When you're always floating around
But never close enough to help

- my head, a wall and my forehead crying blood.

You didn't want to **** me
So you left me half dead
Now I bleed slowly
Wishing you had cold blooded ****** me

- It wasn't kindness, it was fear.

I miss who I was with you
Now I'm just someone I don't want around

- I wonder who you are now

Pounding head,
Spiraling thoughts,
They won't let me sleep.

The wind sings outside
And all I can do it's hear.

Such silence to be at ease,
Thoughts in my ear start to scream.

I miss not being aware of the "if" and "perhaps"
I know where I wanna be, but not how to get there

- I miss the childhood comfort of someone else making decisions for me