You dont need to like the things I do
No one likes anyway
You dont need to follow the script in my head
This never turns out it as it may
You dont have to say yes just for saying
Please, don't blame me for that day
You dont have to put me in a better light
I know well enough what's my fate

"It doesn't matter, she loves me as well"


- Spoiler alert: it mattered.

I delay
As much as I can
I'm running out of excuses
As I'm trying to convince myself I ain't making excuses at all
It is like I'm building walls
Neither I am aware of what they are made of
They are just as paper thing, but I'm fooling myself they're tough
I'm doing my best to ignore the red lights
And the loud alarms that I turn off
Time grows thinner
My excuses grows wider
I always picture myself as the bravest
The truth is, I was never a fighter

-I should just get **** done already

Go ahead, wise one
Keep on treating me like a child
Go ahead, wise one
Like you're a special being who's get it right
Go ahead, perfect being
Who's never feared anything
Go ahead, perfect being
Putting words in my mouth like you know everything
Go ahead
Keep treating me like I'm less than you
But please, don't come crying when I give it all back like you do

- A calm ocean still can drown you

I know what's the morally right thing to do
But feels like all of my courage has gone flew
This kind of situation is nothing new
I wish there was a happiness chest that I could loot

Every time I do the wrong choice
Every time these ideas pop in my head as a choir voice
I want to turn them out
Shut it for so long I even forget about
I became prisoner of negative thoughts somehow
Now my soul it's nothing more than a ghost town

-It gets dangerous when I'm numb for so long because then I lose fear of how bad it can hurt

The worst part of feeling this way
Isn't the lack of breathing
Much less the overcoming pain
It isn't the overworking
Without any kind of pay
The worst
The highlight of this
Its not being able to know why I'm feeling it
I dont know what I miss
I dont know who I wanna be
I dont know where I wanna get
Or how achieve that

I never know what I'm thinking
Till' I pour it out of my pen
I can't tell if I'm being realistic or dreaming
Before I read it out of the paper, again and again
I don't try to write remarkable things at all
All I do it's write to slow down my thoughts

- I'm someone else within the ink.