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Callamasttia Mar 2019
What if I'm not the Storm
What if I'm the Devil?
Callamasttia Feb 2019
I never decide,
either I wanna go out
or spend my day doing nothing inside.
I never decide
do I wanna live?
or do I wanna die?
I never decide
it is worthy prioritizing your
instead of my own smile?
I never decide
one day I think it will be the death of me
the next the reason why I'll make it out alive
I never decide,
and being honest I know I'll never do
and I guess this is good
cause it would be a lie if I had all the asnwers and knew all the truth.

- When you have all the answers, don't all the question become stupid?
Callamasttia Feb 2019
I know I shouldn't feel like this
But knowing I shouldn't feel like this
And not feeling it
Are two edges
So        far        
                        from     each
                                                      other
Callamasttia Feb 2019
Dry
How strange is that
I have been holding on "keeping it together" for such a long time
That when I allowed myself to break down tears in my eyes I didn't find
I have spent so much time holding back my cry
That now my emotions are like a bird who had been caged for far too long to know how to fly

- I thought not crying was "keeping it together", didn't know holding back would make my inside turn into dry weather.
Callamasttia Feb 2019
The universe loves a bad joke.
Callamasttia Feb 2019
I hate everything you say
I hate everything you do
But why the hell I ain't able to hate you?
You only make me mad
You only turn me blue
So why I don't know how to turn my back on you?
Maybe I'm just stupid
Maybe I'm just dumb
Maybe I'm a lost cause
Maybe I think it's fun
Perhaps one day I'll learn
Perhaps one day I will
See that friendship won't replace the hole that love fill

But I can't take it right now
I can't fight for you
I really think we were meant to be
But you have to fight for me too
I can't wish for both of us
You can't ask me to hold onto trust
I can't fight for you
And for me too
Callamasttia Feb 2019
My pyjama doesn't fit me loose anymore
And my favorite cartoon seems so silly
I never want to go outdoors
My room are my safe place lately
And I don't remember when I stopped to like that TV show
I wanted to be those girls when I got older
But they seem so empty now,
So boring now.
I never really wanted to grow up, just to people treat me like one.
When did I grow up?
Back there I would always be loud,
Now I'm always shut
When did I grow up?
Promised myself I'd never change
But the old me became dust.

- Always had a plenty of ideas of what I would become when I grew old, now I get none.
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