The universe loves a bad joke.

I hate everything you say
I hate everything you do
But why the hell I ain't able to hate you?
You only make me mad
You only turn me blue
So why I don't know how to turn my back on you?
Maybe I'm just stupid
Maybe I'm just dumb
Maybe I'm a lost cause
Maybe I think it's fun
Perhaps one day I'll learn
Perhaps one day I will
See that friendship won't replace the hole that love fill

But I can't take it right now
I can't fight for you
I really think we were meant to be
But you have to fight for me too
I can't wish for both of us
You can't ask me to hold onto trust
I can't fight for you
And for me too

My pyjama doesn't fit me loose anymore
And my favorite cartoon seems so silly
I never want to go outdoors
My room are my safe place lately
And I don't remember when I stopped to like that TV show
I wanted to be those girls when I got older
But they seem so empty now,
So boring now.
I never really wanted to grow up, just to people treat me like one.
When did I grow up?
Back there I would always be loud,
Now I'm always shut
When did I grow up?
Promised myself I'd never change
But the old me became dust.

- Always had a plenty of ideas of what I would become when I grew old, now I get none.

It's so overrated being a teen
Everything becomes a trend so fast
It's like no one has their own dreams
It's so sad
I remember when we were kids
We wanted to be anything, but stuck in ours rooms
Now look at us, it's the universe doing its pranks again I presume.

- I still wanting to do so many things but.. these walls has its appeal.

They say somethings are just like riding a bike, you can't forget
I remember I learned pretty young how to get by on my own and in self defense my head was set
Then you came around, it was like in all my beliefs you pressed reset
From one minute to the other the world wasn't grey anymore, I could finally see a colorful sunset
I didn't have to struggle so much anymore, I've put my defenses down cause then I wasn't alone to defeat the threats
Then you went away, and I was on my own again
I tried to calm myself because I've been alone before, I knew how to get it right, I know how to pilot this plane
Told myself "somethings are just like riding a bike, you can't forget"
So here I'm asking why the hell life ain't fair
Because I'm going crazy trying to figure it out how to keep sane without you there.

- I'm starting to think you were a drug disguised as a person.

I don't know who are my friends anymore,
I don't even know if I have any at all.
I just know I got drunk super fast so I could come back home.
In the end I just wish I could feel around them like I did before.
When we were young,
When the world was two neighborhood long,
When I could tell them anything and they would made me feel like I belong.
Yeah, I guess these days are long gone.


- I don't even see the same person when I look in your eyes anymore

It seems like a song I know all the words
And when it goes wrong I remember I've been here before
How does someone make the same mistakes again?
How does someone genuinely don't know how everything it touches eventually crashes down in the land?
Cause I'm so ******* tired
Of trying and trying in vain
How I'm supposed to believe if it all turn into failure
It's like I'm my biggest traitor.

-I gotta keep believing the universe it's against me, otherwise it's just because of my lack of capacity.