But what can I do if I miss him?
What can I do if I love him?
What can I do,
When I can’t do anything?
Tell me a word,
Tell me anything,
I can take it—
The pain of you afar
Is greater than the pain of you here.
What can I do?
What can I do,
When I can’t do anything?

There’s always something to do,
Even when the doors are closed.
So tell me, what can I do,
Because I can’t keep going without breathing anymore.
You’re the one who gave me life,
I want you,
I want you,
What can I do?

I mistook my anxiety for love,
I don’t know how I did—
Thought the lump in my throat was how much I’d miss,
But now, the waves have drifted from the sea,
In the calm, I finally see,
It was just anxiety.

I wanted you to hold me,
To be here,
When my fears would scream—
I wanted you near.

And I thought it was love,
Wanting you.
But when my mind was at ease,
I saw your love was never true.

You wanted me
To take care of your loneliness,
I wanted you
To be there and to hold me.

But when the waves go away,
My mind doesn’t sway,
And I can see who you are.
I love you,
But I don’t like you.

I let myself fall in love
With the exact kind of person I despise,
For you did what no one before thought wise—
You planted a flag at my feet and stayed,
Hoping you'd never walk away,
For as long as I wanted you here.

And I fell, and I fell,
For the dream of what you could be.
But the less the waves crashed,
The more I saw the person holding me—
The less I wanted you,
And you could see it was true.
You were losing me,
So fast,
Going down,
Sometimes around,
But always farther.

So you took the first step,
After saying you’d never leave.
You found someone else
To keep you from being alone,
And left me in my throne.

You took all your lies,
Promising love and to stay,
Then went away,
You were my lighthouse and left me at bay.

One week I was in your sheets,
The next, she was sleeping in my scent,
Using my side of the wardrobe,
Wearing the clothes I had folded.

You were never left alone,
For I never told you to go—
I was beside you when you were low,
And when I needed you the most,
You ghost.

I loved you, but I dont like you.

My side of the bed,
My space in the closet—
Did you throw it all away?
Every gift, every trace of me,
Like love was something you could erase.

Did you do it to forget,
Or just to make space for her?
My scent, my touch, my shadow—
Washed away like I was dirt.

Tell me, was it for you,
Or was it for her?

It doesn’t matter—your color, religion, or name,
Yet humans divide, we are hard to tame.
We try so hard to stand apart,
But in the end, it’s just a part—
Copies of copies, again and again,
And when the day is done, we’re all the same.

You don’t love me—you just need me near,
A fleeting comfort when the night draws near.
I've let you lie to me, so why wouldn't it be my fault?
I know you don't love me when the night falls

The sky is still the sky
and the sea is still the sea,
all the civility we've lost
don't make an hell out of here.

The night unveils the cruelty masked
beneath the daylight's guise.
For humans, predictable as they are,
let their evils in darkness rise.
Because humans change so swiftly
and in the dark, the evil grows.
So before the cold claims its throne
and shadows start to bloom,
could you and I escape the night—
and live in a forever afternoon?

Far from the rot of sickened souls
where madness dares not climb.
The night never will come to us if I plead to the god of time
to freeze us in a sunlight glow, where hours never die—
In a forever afternoon, it will be just you and I.

And I'll **** him tonight
Not because I want to
But because I like to make what he likes
And me, who always loved an empty canvas
Felt my heart sink when I realized
That I mold and shift for those I love,
And it’s not so fun when the blank canvas is I.