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70 · Jun 2022
horizon
Jonas Jun 2022
Just because the ocean is vast
and the journey might last,
doesn't mean I can't run the ship into a sand bank

A wreck buried in the ground,
nowhere to be found.
70 · Sep 2022
Real world, Dream world
Jonas Sep 2022
I used to be a dreamer

At night or day

I'd make shapes out of the clouds in the sky
out of fire places and amber cracks,
out of the wood planks of my bed at my mother's place
and the bathroom tiles on my father's floor.

I'd listen to the stories pigeons coo
and what the wind whispers in the willow trees
If you'd cared to stop and listen.

In my worlds I'd be the hero
of course.
I'd be strong,
untoucheable.
Come out on top.
Untouched by all.
People

I can still see those shapes
but I have to make myself look.
I've lost that innocence.
People made me.
People

I'd like to be a dreamer again.
But it gets lonely
getting lost in your dreams.

How much longer
can I
Continue
?
70 · Aug 2023
Unnamed cross
Jonas Aug 2023
Isn't it hilarious
how you can spend a lifetime

without ever beeing noticed?
69 · Mar 2024
Criminal record
Jonas Mar 2024
Rereading all of my texts now
Redoing them
I feel the urge
Put a wet sponge to the board
Erase all the words
Leave no witnesses
No chalk lines left at the crime scene

But if I'd delete everything
That wasn't instant perfection
Cheap ramen in a chipped bowl
Pour hot water on top
Five minutes and it's done
My quick kinda fix
To statisfy the hunger
Not feeling the itch for a little longer

If I'd give in
There'd be nothing of me left
In this world
To go off on
So don't hold back
Go off little one
69 · Sep 2023
Pedigree
Jonas Sep 2023
Talk,
air it out
or it becomes obsessive truth.
Maybe my mom was right,
maybe all my problems are generational heritage,
ancestory leftovers for me to digest.
Genetic code unfolded into chaotic synergy.

Maybe things just happend
to me.
No fault no big wrong decisions made to be found
for everything to fall back to.
No point in looking,
stressing over it anymore

Maybe I just got unlucky,
a bit mistreated from time to time.

Wouldn't that be nice?

An inconvenient preset of character
butterflies set in motion.

How am I supposed to live with that tho?
With no one, nothing to blame.

You can't just always let it go
and accept.
Give me a logic explanation so I can move on.
69 · Mar 2024
Weathered
Jonas Mar 2024
Wild minds, strange times
We were young once
Special, privileged yes
But not in a good way
It shows
How we're interacting with the world

Knocking on wood
Waling by
Three times
Knock, knock,
crash
That tree went down
Not rooted deep enough

We're all bound to fall
We'll be doomed
Once the storm hits
69 · Feb 17
Untitled
Jonas Feb 17
By now
All I want is to be held

Her soft skin, warmth and the smell of her hair
Close
"She" could be anyone
Anyone is hard to find
69 · Mar 2024
Dungeon
Jonas Mar 2024
A collection of scents
Jars stacked high with strange contents
Cursive, faded labels
Weird shapes within
Shattered shards of glass
Reflections
Flickering in the low light

A library of memories
Books that are falling apart
Coverd in dust
Unreadeable words
In a forgotten language

A catalouge of emotions
Almost forgotten
Remnants that are trapped here
Echoing in empty halls unwandered are
The steps you leave behind
Are the only signs of life
In here
There's nothing left for you to find
Jonas Dec 2022
A women is standing in front of a tree in the  melting snow.
It's already dark.

On one branch sits a ginger cat with an blinking collar
Looking away provocatively .

Both are completly motionless as you walk by.
You smile.

Arguing with cats is like arguing with time.
68 · Mar 2024
Untitled
Jonas Mar 2024
Kontrolle ist eine Illusion
die mir gefällt

Kontrolliere mich
68 · Jun 2022
lean on
Jonas Jun 2022
I can't get myself to trust your embrace
I can't let go
of the prison walls I build
to keep myself safe
safe from you
68 · Jan 2024
Dear ...
Jonas Jan 2024
How can you be
Always on my mind
Forever,
Close to my heart
And next to me
When the night falls
And I grow lonely

Yet you're still
Missing
Form my life?

And my lips mouth
The words
I dare not speak
Out loud
And make them come true

You see
My cowardice is still my biggest flaw
It's holding me back

For here I am
Living my life
In my prime

And I miss you
Still
68 · Jan 2024
Flawless
Jonas Jan 2024
I tried again
Unfortunately  

Because
Obviously

She unmatched me
67 · Mar 2024
Run boy run
Jonas Mar 2024
It's a sacred matter
Our holy fight
An anniversary

The remnants of yester year
Shackles
I wear them like accessories
What's the weight?

My dark persona
Always wanting and hungry
Shady
A loyal companion
Panting
At my side

Sometimes at heel
Sometimes far off
Roaming free
Out of sight out of mind

No worries
It has my scent
It will always find it'S way back to me
No point in trying to outrun your own shadow
65 · Jan 2024
Day and night
Jonas Jan 2024
So
As it became winter  again
The question arose

Dark thoughts
or just
Dark weather?
64 · Aug 2023
Let's play
Jonas Aug 2023
Push me against the wall and pull me close
Turn me around and turn me on
Touch me, grab me, chain me up
Spank me, choke me, pin me down

C'mon let's play

Degrade me, praise me, refuse me my release
Keep adding to the heat
make me shiver, rise and fall,
so we can burn together

Add it to the hunger

Take control of me, make a mess of me
Make me beg and lose my mind
lose all my pride and senses, sense of time
Listen to me moan and whimper
Make me give in to your voice, to your touch

Eat up,

but respect me, care for me still
and hold me tight,
after you made me fall
Let's be intimate together
Please just love me the same

Never to go lonely again.
64 · Feb 5
Balcony thoughts
Jonas Feb 5
Dear cold

Please take me in
Cool me down and brush my skin
Sending shivers down, down
All the way
In this moment I feel I am
Here

Remind me where
And who I've been
Old pains
Turned friendly over time
Now only the wind bites down
Cutting deep

Sometimes numbness can be merciful
60 · Jan 2023
In the midst of childhood
Jonas Jan 2023
I feel like I need to scream
to let it all go
on top off a cliff
designated for such affairs
until my voice breaks, shatters

But I lost it long ago.
60 · Apr 2021
sweet talk my heart
Jonas Apr 2021
"I'll love you till the end of time babe"
Time is nothing but a human construct to deal with reality.
It's fictional.
"I promise you the world."
Don't give promises that you can't keep.
Besides what am I to do with the world? Watch it burn?
"Okay, I'll hold you through the night at least."
You'll suffocate me.
"You're so irritating, what do you want?"
Drop the *******.
"Okay ..."
I want you to punch me in the face.
"What...?"
Softly.
With your lips
slams him into the wall
.
Who run the world?
60 · May 2024
high school reunion
Jonas May 2024
I feel like we get taught
Growing up
To always hold back
Yourself

Don't risk being to much
Showing to much
To protect yourself
Careful now, don't wanna step on any toes
It's sad
The cost is that we forget
What you at your all could look like

Or maybe you never got to find out
58 · Mar 2024
Open bird cages
Jonas Mar 2024
Did you know?
There are entirely different worlds
Tucked in
The same time zone
Step from one to the next
I see you
Dancing between border lines
I call cultural shock
Time out

Did you know?
The sun rises and sets
Each day
And the next
No matter what you do
Or what happens to you
What a cruel and freeing fact

Did you know?
You didn't choose to be born into this world
This gooey mess
A moment in time experienced
But you have some control over it
While you're still up and moving

So might as well
Go all in, go out
Big
Experience what you can
And fly till you die
Find your freedom
Little dove
58 · Jan 2024
Happy birthday son
Jonas Jan 2024
The first time
I cut
Was with the pocket knife
My mother gifted to me
For my coming of age

"In case something need fixing"

Pinks like teeth
Ripping on flesh
Dragged through my skin

I didn't go very deep

No courage to life
No courage to die
Back then

A total failure
What an embarrassment
Lost  in a stalemate
Of heritage and upbringing

Left alone between
A loving broken home
And a suffocating society

Different ages call for different cages
Different in size and shape
But all the same in it's function

I'm out now
Free,
Free to lock myself away
To go looking on my own
For the familiar safety
That is found behind bars.
57 · Aug 2023
Stay kind
Jonas Aug 2023
Growing up
I didn't believe them when they said kindness
be'd strength
I always took it for weakness,
for vulnurability
Leaving yourself open like that ...
it's just asking to get used and hurt.

But how can it be weak
when you're facing viloence head on
with a gentle smile on your face
calmly
standing steady against the storm
Your feet buried in the ground
stubbornly saying
"I will not budge,
I will not be corrupted by your petty anger"

When you choose to stay kind
against the odds and bad experiences
You'll have to sacrifice, take hits
Again and again

Against spite and ignorance,
arrogance and self pity
Often standing alone
without much support or empathy
Cause people are scared and hide away
Compromising to avoid conflict

In a society of mistreated souls,
of misunderstandings
where we just keep lashing out and passing the blame,
the responsibility
A couple animals locked in the zoo
who can scream the loudest?

Here it is that I choose
to stay kind
55 · Sep 2023
Generational cut
Jonas Sep 2023
For me I'd differ between different generations
by their poitical or social crisis happening in their time,
and the toys they used in their childhood.

What went wrong, what messed you up
and how did you distract yourself from it

Our common ground
55 · Mar 2024
Unbuttoned
Jonas Mar 2024
Dear
Please
Don't moan into my ear
Stop kissing my neck
I have to get this done
I'm trying to concentrate here

Oh well
It's to late now to stop
Look what you've done
Come here
55 · Mar 2024
Classical theatre
Jonas Mar 2024
I'm sick of myself
Tonight
I want out
Of my skin

Tonight
I'm a changed man
A natural charmer
Rub it in

No more worrying
Overthinking
Turning away
No more to shy kinda guy

I want to see
What life could be like
Without holding back
Without me being me

Make you out from across the bar
Look into your eyes
No flinching, holding out
Let's make out
We'll work it out

Eye you up and stare you down
Please don't go
Come closer babe
Share some warmth with me
Let's share some digits

I'll see you tomorrow
Pick you up at five

If that's alright?
****
53 · Mar 2024
Memento
Jonas Mar 2024
***** hands
Working hands
Strong, loving hands
Joining together
Be gentle blue collar boy

What do those hands do?
Grabbing, holding, squeezing
Hold me tight
At the waist and around my neck
Shots to the face
Stains on the sheets
We leave our marks
On the back

Come closer lover boy
Get me *****
Mess with me
I'll clean you up
Give you a nice buzz, buzz cut

Something to remember me by

As we grow older
As we fall apart
53 · Jan 2024
Growing pains
Jonas Jan 2024
I feel myself slipping
Growing weaker by the day
I chose to soften
To slow down
Go easy, take five

The more I do
The less I want to go back
To the before
To get up and try again

Why try again?
Let's just lay down
Hide
And fade away

Choosing peace
I lost
My edge

It's true
I can adapt
I can recover

Rebuild,
Reconnect
And suffer and suffer

But why should I
Why fail
And lose again?

If I'm hard wired
To seek comfort in familiarity
Then why bother?

Because
As long as I choose not to
My body draws it's next breath
And each day still passes the next

My life my be lost on me
For now
But to you a world with me in it
Is not all meaningless yet
49 · Mar 2024
Folding (laundry)
Jonas Mar 2024
How is it
That I've learned to see the beauty in the everyday
In them, who they could be
I'm talking potential
Yet I can't seem to see any in me
Could you help me?
Maybe teach me?
Just for a little

I've never learned to live life
You see?
Can't seem to figure it out
Ah the question
How to do it right

I feel like I've missed out on a lot
Came short, short king
So much to catch up on
Yet here I am
Alone in my bed
Unwilling to move
27 · Sep 12
Goodbye
Jonas Sep 12
You see, it went like this:

Not every line needs to rhyme
In order for me to tell you "No,
Of course I'm not doing fine!
What do you think?"

There are other ways to do so
And there were other words we used to
Say to  each other
Once upon a time
In night and dark and light and day

So ...

Just between me and you
And of course your best friends that you'll report this to:

I gotta say, usually
I like it more when it's honest and raw
It's really just more personal in person, you know?
Out on the table all clear and simple
Next to, unfinished puzzle pieces and coffe stains and...
Well it got messy

Maybe this should have been a text after all
Just black and white, no grey
Clinical
Rip of the band aid
I don't need it anymore

Yet here I am, still rambling
I'm unstoppable now
So I'll be able to go on
Without you
In a month, or five years from now
To keep my mental stable
Soon ready for the next "So what's our label?"

But sure I'll be fine, you see
I still like the days the most when it rains
And at the moment it pours
Though the day and night
Nothing left in me, no fight
Nothing is left to fight about really
It's all said and ... gone

"About time we called it then"
You said
"Okay", I said
"Whatever you want"

"Alright, it's over"

"Goodbye"

And then five years later:
You have one new message
" Hey you, remember when you were mine?"

— The End —