Am I a boy or am I the man?

I've been so fixiated on getting it right
When life is really about getting it wrong sometimes
Over and over
Don't overthink it, let's just try that again
Hitting walls head first for an epiphany
Until you figure it out

It's not about avoiding the mess
Ir's abot going through
Come up for air once in a while
When you need to
Take a break

We can make sense of things in hindsight
When we're old and have the time
To be a little more than none the wiser

Double standarts left and right
I like a man who knows what he wants
Who knows how to **** but not **** around
Emotional available, mature
A little silly maybe, but not insecure

Take the lead and take what he wants
You take the leap for me, bear the risk
I'll watch and judge
Respectfully degrading
Know all the subtleties, get the que right and act fast
Never get it wrong, always right
Don't mansplain to me
Get away you creep
Wait, I like your jawline

I like nice
But only sometimes
In theory
When I have to force it out
You know, like the minimal amount?
He's so full of red flags
Oh my gosh girrrrrrrl you gotta get out
Gotta have something to talk about, later
...
My X is typing

Oh come on don't be boring
Oh are you crying?
xD, lol, screenshot saved
How lame, who's next?

Yes you can have a soft side, need to even
For her to exploit
But only the right kinda soft
The right kind of weak

Don't dress for the male gaze
Fat shaming is wrong
I grow hair where I want
It shouldn't define my atractivness
Societies norms are wrong
So how tall are you?

Guess we all **** each other
Up

Just joking of course
You're so tense, lighten up, be chill
You don't have to take everything so personally you know
We're just playing

Get your knives out
Get your grandads pitchforks
Today we march and march
No more benefit of the doubt
They had it coming, they did
With all their lies spread around
Can't trust the media
Get your facts straight, check your sources

Time to carve, time to shout
We'll be heard, we'll be loud
For love, for peace, for the motherland
To right past wrongs
Against the pale opression
We do it for the kids

Get up, get out
We hit the streets tonight
Dig in lemming before you starve
It's time to follow the one true voice
In blindness we walk
Eyes shut, don't look up
Only kick down, push back left and right

Listen only to the voice
Everyone else is lying to you, using you, manipulating bunch
Fella can't even say what he thinks anymore
Around these parts
We'll make it right

So only trust me, all you have to do is
Follow, don't think
Do as I say, jump Simon says
Off with ya, off the cliff
Have a nice flight
Make out a way for me
To walk upon
Piled up lifes, a mountain of bodies

So I'll get out
Richer still
Pawn to E4
#Atruebeliever
"Necessary sacrifice"

Don't forget to pick up my dry cleaning

I'll give it to you
If you earn it

Collecting tear drops in a swimming pool
The drip, drop on demand
Round and round it goes
But never away

No runing allowed around here
No jumping from the sides
Salty water wept in time
Turns to dust
Maybe as in star but more likely as in dirt

Sweat it out, squeeze hard
Nourish me
The pool remains empty
You take the plunge still
For me, you give
Head first to the concrete
Thick red to fill what's empty
You went heavy on the lipstick

Sweet screams I wanna hear
Loud and clear
Prove yourself
I am a god, to you
I require a sacrifice

Embrace me
But cut off your ugly parts first
Take off your head, your arms, your legs
Give your liver too and your heart
I am hungry for more
Lay em all out for me to discard
Premium cut, main course

It's time now
Take the jump

I'm watching

Skin on glass
Day dreaming, I'm not sleeping
Enough
Sweaty ***, another train ride
Downtown  
I get up in the morning
To late, to bad
Coffe  
Bad times
Continue to frown

I feel like I've grown
Up,  a little after all
In time, still always to late for the call
Missed so many meetings, opportunities
You
Are you still up, still there
For me?

What is it all for
What's the point
Where did I go wrong?
Exit the lane at the turnaround

The pain and the struggle
The everyday hustle
Wearing clean, white silk on a ***** body
***** mind
Filled with garbage to the rim
Hit me baby, one more time

That ***** needs some pounding
Feel me, fill me out
I'm empty and worn, all bottomed out
Choke till I blush red for you
Like I used to, back then
When things still ment something
To me, to us
Give me a good reason why breathing feels so hard now

One more day
And then I'll wake up
My life is the dream that I am living
I've never been in control of my dreams

Punish yourself
To make you feel
Better / something
You're worthless, it all adds up

Are you still there?

Bite my nails
Rip out my hair
Burn my skin
My head splits open
The best die youg
R.I.P.

Cut, cut, cut
Bleed out, a few thick drops
To the puddle
Drip, drop, drop
One arm in the bathtub

Why are you crying little dove?
It is late, look away
Go back to bed

Don't you remeber?
You asked me to open up

Ich bin ich
Der, der hinterm Mikro steht
Wer bin ich? Einer wie du eigentlich
Nur ganz anders

Anderes Geschlecht, andere Herkunft, Sexualität
Ein anderes Gesicht
Andere Persönlichkeit und Denkweise
Aber doch sind wir irgendwie gleich
Siehst dus nicht?

Grundlegend gleich
Gleiche Bedürfnisse und Emotionen
Gleiche Wünsche und Ängste
Irgendwie ironisch

Also warum verstehen wir uns nicht
Treffen, sprechen, einigen wir uns nicht?
Komm lass dich doch einfach mal ein auf mich

Vielleicht finden wir ja einen Weg
Gemeinsam
Am Ende einfach gemeinsam gleich, anders glücklich zu sein

Das sollte doch nicht so schwer sein
Komm, trau dich