All those little scars and marks,
left scattered over your body ,
shaping you,
making you, you.
All those habits and traits
specifics of the people close to you
forming familiarity.

A scent , a gesture, a sound
can take you back to the past
to the company of loved ones.
A quick pain to the chest as a reminder

Nostalgia triggered like dandeion pedals surrend to the wind
before you know it they're gone, the moment's over
already fading away
Added to the great library of what came before,
categorized and stored,
prioritized by what's more important and what is less.
To gather dust,
be forgotten or altered by time.

It's so beautiful it breaks my heart.

So keep collecting your scars and marks,
while you're at it,
maybe you could leave some on me as well.

Isn't it hilarious
how you can spend a lifetime

without ever beeing noticed?

I'm gonna need you to listen to me
I know it's hard
Believe me I know it's hard
and very selfish of me to ask
But I need you to try

Try with all your little might and heart
with all the breath your lungs can muster

I need you to be brave
to feel the fear but not go numb from it
Breathe,
in and out
Keep trying and keep failing

You might feel sick,
that's okay
You might feel weak
and yes you are,
that's okay too

But you're never worthless
don't ever believe it, don't give in to the voices
Shove them back, let them roar
Believe me you can roar much louder
if you have to, need to
take breaks but never stop

Go on
don't ever give up on life,
whatever be the pace, always go on
Never hide yourself from the world
You hear me?

It matters, it really does
you matter
if not to you than at the very least to me,
to lots of people actually wether or not you believe it
whether or not you can see

So stick around for the nexts
the next round, the next day
Please don't leave me
I'm begging you
Do it for yourself, or do it for me

Just do it,
please just stay
just hold out out
just
a little longer.

Vor Gedichten und Gedanken
Weichen alle Schranken.

Freiheit sitzt dahinter, dort,
Jenseits der Verzweiflung
Wahre Freiheit ist:
Nichts mehr zu verlieren zu haben
Außerhalb von Halt
Singend, nicht schreiend
Im freien Fall.

Das macht sie so gefährlich.

Fallende Hunde bellen,
Laut.
Sie beißen zu,
Hart
Und oft ins Leere.

Ich falle auch,
Nur singe ich nicht,
Ich schreie auch nicht,
Bin lange schon verstummt

Fallende Hunde bellen laut
Und ich glaube ich verstehe.

I'm leaving for a while

left with the wind, just like that
Hopefully it won't affect your smile
not to much at least, well maybe a little.
Hopefully without me you'll still have a shoulder to lean on
just don't forget me and, you know, have to much fun on your own
while I'm gone.

While I'm gone to see
how the rain falls on the other side
how the light breaks in waterfalls
how the jungle sounds, all the oceans smell when the sun is shining a little to bright
How the desert sand feels running through my hands
running away like the time we had together.

How many ways are there up the mountain,
to make me feel alive again?
The view from the peak as my reward

To go where the earth, water and sky meet, become one
for me to walk on
Where hills become rainbows for me to climb
Take the same steps, same roads as the people of the past
civilizations long gone
I wish we could share it ,
all the spices o the world on the tip of my tounge

I'm looking for peace, for kidness, for love
Let's find out if life is really worth living,
let's see if I can find it, my way of life
tucked away, hidden in a treasure trove

Not only to witness but to experience it,
first hand, for a change
Be part of a story
add lines to the lyrics of their songs
Instead of just being part of the audience,
the reader turning page after page
Take the plunge and see where it leads me,
what else is in my range?

I wish getting there would be a little gentler tho,
I could use a little bravery and courage before the scary part.

I hope when I make it back we'll still be the same,
although we all will have changed of course
I know nothing lasts for ever, we will lose each other eventually,
but
I'm not quite ready to accept that yet
and I hope I never will be.
Some things are just to good not to hurt in the end.

I miss my time with you already
it still tastes bitter to just leave like that
I can't wait to see you again
spend time like we used to, remember?
Talk to you soon in different times my friend.

I'm 23 now (24,25,...)
and already so tired
Tired of it all
the constant struggle
for sustain, for mediocrity
compromise what makes you you and feel alive

How much longer
Do i have to go on?

How long will you keep believing
what was promised to you?
How long can you wait
for the promised payout
that you're still hoping, wishing, begging for?

I just want to be healthy and happy
in life
why is that so hard to get,
so hard to keep
alive?
Am I asking to much?
Shouldn't that be the minimum?

Dear body, dear mind, dear soul
What's the point of survival
without a good reason to stay alive for?

And what's the alternative when dying isn't an option either?
I still do want to go on, my body wants to live
it has an agenda, a mind of it's own

Still hasn't had enough, still isn't fed up,
no energy left to spend,
no  feelings, no anger left to vent
it still holds on, teeth clenched it claws, it crawls on

Just indifference and that little cursed hope
that keeps me from letting go completly,
keeps me holding on.

Working in gastromony taught me some things
in life
everything gets more intense

when you add a little salt

:)