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Jonas Jan 2023
Everything and everbody *****.
Except sometimes when it doesn't

Everybody keeps bothering you,
they just can't seem to leave you alone.
Why can't you just leave me the **** alone?

Sometimes that's a good thing.

Nothing matters
you're indifferent to almost everything.
It's hard to get past that shell.
It's your armor against the world.
You depend on it.

Your parents will always have some power over you.
Whether you like it or not.

I'm angry.
It's buried deep down by now.
In my heart, in my bones.
Ironically I'm so weak it's quite pathetic.
I want to punish myself.

Last but not least

Some things do feel real.
Music is a goddess, it's freedom.
Stories are an escape.

These tools can loose their effect when overused.

Some moments  do get through the fog.
Nature and innocence for instance.
Some relationships mean something.
Some people are just to good to be corrupted.

Depression isn't a sickness
It feels like a part of you,
A character trait.

The bottom line?
"please don't hurt me"
This isn't all
Jonas Jan 2023
I feel like I need to scream
to let it all go
on top off a cliff
designated for such affairs
until my voice breaks, shatters

But I lost it long ago.
Jonas Dec 2022
Leave me
Give up on me
To the lost and found
To gather dust in the dark

We'll only end up hurting each other
Jonas Dec 2022
A women is standing in front of a tree in the  melting snow.
It's already dark.

On one branch sits a ginger cat with an blinking collar
Looking away provocatively .

Both are completly motionless as you walk by.
You smile.

Arguing with cats is like arguing with time.
Jonas Dec 2022
This world is to much for me

I can never be enough
I am always to weak

Let me stay down
Curled up on the ground

Let me be defeated

Please
Jonas Dec 2022
Hand me an axe

Point me to the nearest forest
to cut down

Hand me a shovel
tell me which way the river should flow

Maybe than I could be fulfilled
in anohter pointless enterprise

Tell me what to do
I don't want to be responsible for myself anymore
Jonas Nov 2022
Cruelty
indifference

Lost alone
wih you

Imagine,
me staring to feel again

Crazy right?
Scary thoughts

Let's send out a message
I dictate

Dear heart,
I am trying

It's been so hard
living as a privileged ****

Lie
to us, to yourself

Like the rest of us
Despair
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