How many differnet scents
can a book take on
over the course of it's lifetime?

A new addition
to your treasure cave
Stories wanting to be found

I stood still for a moment,
my bad

I've forgotten how it felt
When I don't busy myself
all the time
When I don't cloud my mind
with insignificant things

I'm burned out to the foundation
The easiest tasks are mountains to climb
with no energy left, nor appettite or joy
There's a  constant weight on my chest
a hohle in my tummy,
and a heart beating so fast
for a body this numb

It beats "you're not good enough"
my breath whispers "pathetic"
my hands scream "how useless"
without the energy to make a fist.

Gravity is a merciless foe
pulling you down, inevitable
Sleep means unconsciousness,
not rest
At least a little peace

I do my best to give you the love you deserve
to show you what you're worth
as no one did before

I'm scared  tho of my growing indifference
You're begining to annoy me
when I should be welcoming your love
As you love me like no one has ever done before
like I've  been wanting to be loved
Wanting
for all the time stuck up in my room,
Selth loating, piting myself
"pathetic," in ,"pathetic" out

my bad,
it's a losing game

You said I'd be like a guardian angel,
to you
a knight in shining armor.
You trust me completly
You let yourself go

Please don't elevate me like that
Not when I could hit you
and you'd stay
stay still
stay still with me.

You don't have healthy boundries
at all
and how could you?
When no on ever taught you
taught you to care for you.

That power scares me
the power you give me over you
It acts corrupting
There is something rotten here
something you are yet to see
that you're slowly bringing out of me.

I keep it locked behind the curtains
of the stage we're acting on
We are comitted to our roles now
Hide and seek we play

I hide, you seek
all fun and games

Now
The make up is slowly  coming undone
We're spilling tears and sweat.
I sweat you cry.
I can't cry, you do it for me!

How much time is left,
till I get bored or you see me for me?

Stop now for a minute,
it's overtaken you.
Let's list off our problems, one by one,
and you know a couple more too.
Follow with your plans, your dreams, glimpses of the future
open to us or seemingly so.
Is that really what I want or did someone tell me to?

Let's see where that leads us,
what reasons, what cause, what solutions are there?
Where do we stand, or stumble
what ground do we share?
Who could we ask for help, who could we lean on,
who would  actually care?
It's hard to find someone like that really ,yeah really anywhere.
With no family, no friend, no partner life's hard to  bear.

Don't forget to breathe,
be brave, be strong. no even stronger
Continue to for a bit, before we leave,
go on, can't you?
Just a little longer

When I think of the future panic rises.

Und du gibst und gibst und gibst und gibst und gibst und gibst
Und du gibst und gibst und gibst und und gibst du gibst,
gibst und nimmst.
Und du gibst und gibst und gibst und gibst
und kriegst nichts zurück
Und du gibst und gibst und gibst
und sprichst, doch sie verstehen dich nicht, einfach wieder nicht, einfach widerlich.
Und du gibst und gibst
und so gibt es für dich, schon wieder nichts.
Und du gibst noch mehr,
und du verlierst dich,
findest dich nicht mehr,
Du existierst kaum noch,
Wie lange ist es schon her?
Es muss ein neues Kapitel her,
denkst du und gibst ihnen mehr.
Und sie erwarten es von dir,
Und danken es dir nicht,
ja verdammt siehst du es denn nicht?
So, so nutzen sie dich.