You have to be an alpha male sometimes.
I get it.
But you don't need to be it all the time.
Is it a guise for something deep inside? Something from childhood you can't
name or hide?
Put up your walls that have no foundation rooted in the way we interact;
Something extra you put up to protect you from something non-imminent.
I see through you and I'm not impressed by your alpha maleness.

I used to think the 60's was a bad decade
for humanity.
Then I learned about the 70's.
The 80's, I'm not sure bc I was five
when it started.
In the 90's I was mostly optimistic and young.
The start of the 00's started off rough, got better and we'll see what happens next.

There is good and and bad in everything.
But in my older years it's more difficult to see the best in all this incongruency.
I can only hope it all evens out on the end.
If bad beats good all these good deeds will be for nothing.
I'll never know the finality.

The world without you is a lonely place,
An empty land with too much spare time and space.
I will always remember you,
You can never be replaced.
Goodbye

Fugitive somehow can live under murky no dark water. cave back under the water. Hickory Hill and somehow i get caught. I'm not wet but muddy. a lot of cops around and I'm handcuffed. I'm led inside where ppl are standing around. I take off my coat and all of me is ***** except for my arms long sleeves that are yellow. Some female chuckles and exclaims something. I slip right back out of cuffs and noone seems to notice. I slip out the back door unnoticed and back into the pond and I back in to the small cave. Now they come back for me but know where I am. or maybe don't. I think they do or I really don't want to be there so next is close-up of my hands rising from dark brown water to surrender. Maybe this is how I originally surrendered. Later sitting around large table w/ 3 others and Craig K telling me something about how much better he is now that same time in his life is over. Maybe something similar to my sleeping minds problem.

Female is now the one in trouble. Not really pretty but not ugly. In a hospital after she was caught. Sterile room and she's wondering if it's better for her to run. Nurse/doctor orderly comes in he gets knocked out. she takes lab coat, walking by doctor while trying to be conspicuous with metal clipboard in hand. Reaches a stairwell and goes up it (the only way to go) where exit sign is. thinks maybe doctor alerted someone so we get nervous. Go out door to back of a smaller building green grass. large green electrical box parking lot to our left. should note she is talking to me but I'm in no danger. almost like I'm not physically there. we reach car and I ask b/c I'm sure she forgot key to car but she has it so we get in and she drives. She wanders if it would be better to give herself up instead of being on the lamb but says no and I'm happy bc, probably, of my last dream. I tell her about getting new identity and not using her credit cards and dream ends w/ me getting the sense she was never caught.

I’ve heard so many things about you,
And I might even love you even though we’ve never met.
It’s only because I feel like I know you so well,
even though there hasn’t been a spoken word between you and me.
But I know if we ever spoke I’d watch the way your lips move and I’d hang on every word.
And even though you’re not here you’re still everywhere:
As if your presence is floating in the air.

I can understand someone who was once with you now missing you.
From what I’ve heard it seems like a fall from grace;
To go from:
having you near,
seeing your face,
or hearing your voice every day,
                                                            to nothing.
Maybe it’s better to never have to endure that pain.
                                                           ­ But I don’t think so.
(As they say) 'Tis better to love and lost than never have loved
                                                           ­ at all.
With you it’s truly better to have had the chance.