It is the single most complex and simple thing in this world

It boggles my head
Hurts my heart

But it's there

You didn't ask for this relationship
I did
You didn't want a romance
I did
You wanted it to be casual
I couldn't
I would say you want to be friends
but I don't know if you do

My first mistake
I went into our friendship with romance in my eyes

My second mistake
I didn't let my feelings die that night

I dreamt of you the day I wanted to sever that connection
My head hurts
There's a pressure in my mind
Is this what our friendship is supposed to feel like?

I can't ask anything from anyone, in the end it's their life but still
Do you value our friendship? Or is it an obligation
Do you care about me? Or am I just another person in this world
Do you enjoy my company? Or am I just another part of your anxiety

If you do value me, then we can rebuild
But if you don't, then I don't know

I don't know

I am a fool for dreaming
for marveling
for wondering
of you

A fool for believing
and thinking
I could be different

But what remains is a tired fool
Sitting on a bench
Alone

Dip my hands and grind the grains of the clouds between my fingers
Release it's tears across the soil, saddening the landscape one last time
Allow their prisoners to escape, the sun and the sky rushing out
Beg them to take me with them before submerging myself back into the clouds

Naaaa naa na na na na
Naaaa naaaa naaa
Naaaaa naa na na na na
Naaaa naa na



I'd say, that I didn't care anyway
What your love could
mean
to
me
today

Repair my broken vessels
My muscles aching from pain
My mind melding
Isanity at my bedroom door

Fill me up
Keep me alive
Make the sweat worth it
Help me forget the tears

Is it my fault
that the sun rises every morning
and wakes me up from my cursed slumber

Is it my fault that I lift my legs with every ounce of courage
In hopes that it may be rewarded

Is it my fault I hurt so much inside

I told you stay with me
Don't tell me I can't just concede
You're love is all I need
Right now

I want your loving tonight

Before you go just say goodbye
Say you'll love me, then lie all night
We can do this every day
But right now

I need your loving tonight

Just let me be weak today
I promise I'll figure it out tomorrow

Just let me be weak today
I promise I'll figure it out tomorrow

I sit down in my workspace
With dread on my mind
I'm exhausted beyond belief
But to give up would be out of line

A memory creeps up from behind
Sensing my pain
A storm of happiness emerged
To brighten my day

The call is on
This storm's force is getting strong
It'll help me break the weather
And keep me together

The storm grows, and water flows
From my eyes down to my nose

I really forgot why I was still running, still running, still running

Go
My brain says
Go
This storm
will grow


With the speed of the wind
And a strength like thunder

Go
This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow

This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow

This storm caused a grin
a grin like no other

Go
This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow

This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow

This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow

This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow


The storm left me even though I ran after it, but not without
leaving me with a smile, and possibly a flood warning for my eyes 0.0

There's gray in the sky
Blue in my heart

But not sadness yknow

A clear blue, with the sun shining

Crystals form, frigid water sticks
Blood drips from blister never truly fixed
A bellow of frozen air, a touch of lonliness
Conglomerating into this experience of heaven

To save my humanity
I'd construct walls
But tears don't lie to me

I'll let them tumble
Their rubble nurturing the surrounding flowers

Would I wish to stand
In a garden of pure flowers
Not burdened by my sins

To hide the indecencies
I'd shower myself in red
I wouldn't see the shriveled roses being left to dead

Yes but still, I'll save the blood I wish to spill
To color the flowers which lead me to a path unseen

A path soaked in red
Ending with light shining from azure skys

We made a choice under the sun
As the velvet clouds covered it's gaze
A broken vow made for dust
A scarlet promise made for today

Drawing the moon's ire
I ran across the concrete
In fear of the chains of sin

But when I look behind me
All I see is a ocean in the sky
The clouds acting as currents
And a wave of realization comes to light

I don't need to run anymore
Not away
Just walk toward
I'll be okay

The iridescent color of your eyes
I wanted your love so badly

The sage green of the land
With the azure blue of the sky
We'd meet at the horizon
And smile through the night

I'm sorry, Kylee
I really am

I wish I was different
I wish the sage green penetrated my heart

I wish we went on that date
I wish I could hold you at night

I wish I could groom your hair
I wish you would groom mine

I wish we kindled the sparks
and created a bonfire of love

I wish we spent more time
I wish we spent less

I wish you would've given me a chance

I gave everything just to dance with you
But the sage green smile of yours
With sunflowers in your eyes
And aspirations of a brighter future

One without me

I'm sorry

I wish things were different
I wish I was able to love you
Given that chance
Finally I could expieriance romance

These clouds seem to move faster
When your heart is close to mine
They move in circles round and round
creating an illusion of paradise

The blue we share hasn't changed it's tint
The love we share hasn't lost it's color
My mind still sings songs of us
Living in our sky with no other

I've made mistakes
3 to be exact
A heart made stronger by pain
I have to endure

But if I can walk away from this
I'll find that I have a heart capable of overcoming anything

A heart made fullmetal

I promise I'll hear
I promise I'll understand

Just tell me

And we'll figure it all out later

I'm dreading but I'm still fighting
My muscles are aching and my brain is dying
These protein shakes signify my self improvement
But I hate myself more everytime

The led is sticking to my finger
The ink spreads across my hands
You expect a beautiful drawing of colors
But I only have sweat, tears, and blood to draw with dad

I'll sway under the moonlight
And dance with the reflection of your soul
Glimmering from waters of red
My dreams becoming distant phantoms

This goes for a time
When days felt short
The minutes felt long
Outside our porch

This goes for a time
When trees stood still
When eyes were locked
And lips touched

This goes for a time
Sleepless nights
A giggle in the morning
A lie in the night

This goes for a minute
A second
Just a second
Please

The pulsating heart of the ground
Shadows born from the sky
A clash of light and darkness
Below a cloudy sky

On this green battlefield
Wind pushing the victors forward
The light pushing through
The shadows fizzling into the ground

A tree standing
The only constant of the land
Catering to the shadows and motivating the light

The clouds clear up and the battlefield revealed

The shadows have gotten darker
And the light has gotten brighter
In perfect harmony under this blue sky

Keep my nose down
Lift my chin up
Smile a half smile
Breath
Just Breath

There's a fire outside
It's smoke can be seen between the leaves
The light smolders the sky
And depicts a most beautiful scene
Of peace, love, anger, and hope
All through the windows that the shadows leave behind

And I can see the blood soaked battlefield
My pruned fingers soaked from a thousand years of anxiety
Squeezed out like a sponge to rain over the landscape

But the sun's out
And the sky has never been clearer
I'm 100 years older, but still so young
I'll add another ring around my eye
And smile about today

I wanted to hold hands
And draw together
Our love on the powdered floor

The sun warming us both
Our hearts close together
Your eyes fixed on mine

With a stick I drew
My name and yours
Engraved onto the sands of my dreams

The water crashing
erasing the memories
the future of our love

Like lines in the sand
Our love washed away by the ocean

My love still hanging on

Surrounds my cortex
Blocks the clarity
I so desperateley desire

Burns the walls
Crushes my spirit
Makes me feel in-human

I'll talk about it soon
It'll only leave through my mouth
I'll mutter it's weight

and drop it behind my path

What if the stars fell down tonight?
And we caught them flying around?
Blinking and signalling
Like fireflies
Joyfully dancing
In a crystal blanketed night

The clouds fall into a maze of flames
I've been in here for so long

I've been burned a few times but otherwise it's been warm
But it's finally over and it's time to move on

I'm telling you know
I'm telling you know
I'll love you someday
Without a doubt

One month
Another failure
It's time to sleep today

One week
And I tried
It's time rest tonight

One day
I'll see
I have to try

One more day

One more night

I don't see a finish line
It's farther than I can imagine

But I'll keep pushing
Till my knuckles blister from writing
And my muscles splinter from work
Till my blood shines a different shade of red

One that will never contrast well with the outside world

I'll do it for me, and no one else

The clouds shimmer and sway
As they become distant phantoms to the night
I've forgotten the sensation of love
I've lost the warmth of your light

The fall leaves trigger dreams of melted snow
The touch of your skin on mine
But my dreams have fallen from the sky
Like raindrops..

They wash away your eyes

Breath in a cloud
Call it a day
There's no time
to precipitate

Breath in a clouds
Steep to their height
Watch them become phantoms
To the moon and the night

Dim the lights brighter
Change the tune of your tone
Playing my heart forwards and backwards
Playing my heart with a song

I can't see the sky
Behind he who roams
Blanketed, Suffocating, Paralyzing with snow

Freezing rain drips down to my toes
Freezing blood drip down from my nose

Freezing and paralyzed from the snow

The waning lines etched on the roof
A chair swinging in only two directions

Neither of which I know

I have exactly 24 minutes to get my **** together
The sky seems dead
The wind that used to nurture me hurts
I've become so vulnerable

A little sour but it has the intended effect
I'll feel a bit clearer at the end of it
I'll drop into a fountain of thoughts
And rise in my kingdom in the heavans

I'm sure it is
I'm sure that it's just a figment
A picture of a fractured soul

It's shards being picked up by blood soaked hands scorned with cuts
But it's there
The blood still flows from a beating heart
And you make it beat faster

The sun risen
The sand crushed between my feet
Sprouted from the ocean
A blossom of clouds
Holding the sun captive

I'm not even half way up

It's half past 10
And the stars have never been brighter
And yet here you are
Lighting a ******* fire

And blocking my view of this terrific sight
Eclipsing the stars with all your light

It's half past 5
And the sun's rising
And yet your playing in the ocean
Which I find unsurprising

Distracting me from the sun, a sight worthwhile
With your calm, comforting, most beautiful smile

It's half past 1
And the trees are dancing
And yet here you are interrupting them
With your romancing

Covering my eyes from the clear blue sky
Kissing me on the lips, oh how I could just die

It's half past 10
And the stars have never been so dim
And yet you're not here
When did life get so grim

The plentiful stars now seem to be fading
God I wish we were more than just dating


It's half past 5
And the sun's rising
And yet you're not here
Which I find surprising

The sun seems to have froze
I really need to just propose

It's half past 1
And the trees are tired
And yet you're not here
The one I most desire

The birds now chirp less
I think it's time to confess

It's half past 10
All but one star is left
And yet you're here
committing a most heinous theft

You've stolen my sight, my lips, and most  importantly my heart
But still there's a question I must ask -
Would you love me through hardships, through Mondays, and till death do us apart?

Clarity

The sun is shining in the sky
Void of any cloud, worry, in my eyes

And so I walk
I feel this warmth from all directions
and I walk

A journey? sure
but a pleasure none the less
it's days like these, that life's not such a mess

on the porch I sit, the blades of grass dancing in the wind
The trees shaking with delight
as they stare at my grin

My heart isn't always empty
On the contrary, its rather full
I misplace it sometimes, that's all
but this dance helps me remember

Remember that I'm loved.

The strength the push
The strength to absolve
These mountain I find in my path

A protein shake
And some running shoes
A fire left for dead

Kindling
One by one
Steps
One foot in front of the other
By the end of May you will find

A strength like no other

The sand on my feet rubs against the towel
A towel, on a beach, 2 miles from where we were staying

I can't help but notice the sun, no not you silly, but the sun in the distance
Melting into the ocean scattering it's aura across the sky

I could stare at it for hours but it seems like you brought me here for something else

You open our picnic basket and pull out a bottle of wine
The purple elixir flowed into the glass tinted with the sun's last bit of life

"I'd like to sing you a song, if you'd like?"

"Of course I would"

And a song he sang

The wind joined in the festivities helping the grass sway to my darling's voice.
The seagulls all became silent to allow this performance of love to go smoothly
And the ocean rolled in and out harmoniously with his song.

The melting sun froze it's retirement for just one moment, so I could see just how bright he really was.

The song ended, and he gave me a grin

"How'd you like it"

But I couldn't respond
They're were too many tears rolling down my cheek

But I had to show my gratitude somehow

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled in his general direction

And in return, he gave me a ring with the promise of love for a lifetime

Despite the title
I'm made with blue berries
That bleed a red hue
Into the sea

Leave me drowing in the whirlpool of blades
Add sugar, creamer, and milk to celebrate my defeat

Against the blades I stand, I see a red leave my body
But the red turns to pink as it touches the sea

The crowd cheers for the strawberry milk
But only blueberries know the blood polluting the sea

There's a warmth on your back
And an idea on your mind
As you fall into the lake, and eventually sink
Sink into this world of yours

Where reality has no bearing
And you have all the freedom you can imagine
Where the consequences haven't reached you
And the rewards are endless

Where your heart can finally be one
And not broken into a million pieces

A dream where dreamers finally find meaning in their existence

A place where I'm not tethered to hope
A place where I have everything

A place where I finally have you by my side
Smiling and holding me

A place where I see your eyes
Watching over me

A place where I feel your warmth
Keeping me away from the cold

A place where love with you
Seems possible


But I wake up, with a full heart
Full of hope that this dream will come into fruition

That this dream will grow into a most beautiful flower

A sunflower shining it's light onto me
with a smile I can only dream of...

Up until now I was comfortable with who I am
An average looking guy with impeccable taste

What if I was a girl?
What would change?

Would it be better than now?
Or would it just be strange

I'm tired of not knowing
Wondering and dreaming

Because reality hits me in the chin
As I wake up looking at the ceiling

I just want to be a cute girl
With my personality intact

Not this manly figure
Who knows what he is a fact

So I sigh and look out my window
With a tree flowing in the wind
Stretching out to the clear blue sky
Carrying a warm grin

I smile at the sight, as I often do
Dream about being a tree dancing in the wind
Dancing in the wind with you

A tree with no dreams, but a tree with happiness nonetheless

A tree in the snow, on a hill, touching the sky...

right next to my desk

The sun draws it's last breaths, it's light stretching to the trees
Their still shadows grab it before becoming phantoms to the night
As it dissipates on the cusp of the horizon, the moon brings a familiar face
The shadows of the leaves cry in the wind, their tears blanketing what little blue is left

I dreamt of a guy
He was bright, cheerful, as pretty as the moon
I met him at school and we started to talk

We laughed
We flirted
and then we eventually kissed

But at that moment he left
and you came back

I pushed you away, why do you keep coming back
I regret it, why can't I forget it

I just want to dream in happiness
But not even my mind is safe

What do I do?

I keep thinking what I did wrong
I keep thinking what I could have done better
I keep thinking of a different reality
One where you and I actually happened

I'm sorry

I know you don't want this
But I can't control how I'm feeling, how I'm thinking

and how I'm dreaming

I thought of a girl
She was confident, thoughtful, and a smile as bright as the sun
I met her at school and we started to talk

We laughed
We flirted
And we eventually kissed

But she, like all figments of my imagination, left
And you came back

What do I do
What do I do
What do I do






What can I do?